Thursday, October 31, 2013

Happy Halloween - a Revelation!

I have to share a great revelation.

This morning as I busily got the kids and myself together to get out the door, I noticed the huge bag of Halloween candy sitting on my counter, as it had been sitting on my counter for days. I really didn’t pay a lot of attention until it really hit me: “I REALLY hadn’t been paying a lot of attention to it!!”

There has been no obsessing about “staying away” from the candy, and no obsession with “NEEDING to have ALL the candy”. It has simply sat there, unopened. Ignored.

Talk about JOY!

Talk about a BREAKTHROUGH!

This was very exciting for me to realize. I have come to see that since I started to treat food as food; Nothing more, nothing less; Not bad, not good, the hold that sugary things used to hold over me has fallen away. It’s really very freeing and liberating.

My focus for the last week specifically is mindfulness. I am striving to eat ONLY when I am hungry. It’s been hard at times! I have not always been mindful, for sure! But it has been very eye-opening. I often want to eat when I am anything BUT hungry (which I have known). But to give myself a moment to say “I know you want a snack, but you really aren’t hungry – what is it that you need?” has been very interesting.

Sometimes I know what I need (a break from my desk, for example) and sometimes I don’t. It’s not perfect, it never will be, and I’m OK with that! It’s a skill I am working very hard on and I have decided to really concentrate on it for a few weeks, just on its own, with no other eating-restriction-diet-mentality ideas. Just let it be about being mindful.

Mindfulness with eating is something I scoffed at for a long time. After all, I don’t want to think about WHY I want to eat – I just want food, dammit! But while immersing myself in information about it, I came across a new perspective.

-Make the mindfulness happen AFTER the food is consumed-

This, to start, made so much more sense to me. When I paid attention to my food, and how I felt AFTER I ate it, I discovered much more easily what made me feel good, and what made me feel crappy. Making THAT discovery more easily moves me into being mindful BEFORE I eat something. I have the knowledge of what how that food might affect me physically, so I have a totally informed decision to make.

When I type it out, it reads a little “obsess-y” but it really doesn’t feel that way at all. It feels good to be in tune with myself. Coming into my body is a very, very slow process for me. Coming into my mind is first.

Hooray for therapy! LOL

Have a sweet Halloween. Enjoy some candy, if that’s your thing. Stay away from it if you prefer. Whatever gives you JOY? Go for it!

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Back to the fitness, and the price of sanity

In my defense, I DID warn you yesterdays post was not about fitness. :-)

Thanks to the few of you who responded with your thoughts. It nice to hear outside perspective. Obviously it’s a difficult situation and one that is going to require a lot more thought and processing on my part.


A few PR’s for you:

24” box jump x 2 (YESSSSS!!!!!)
195 lb hex-bar dead lift x 5 (paid very close attention to form, because I felt my knees want to cave inward, but I didn’t let them. I kept them pressed out and pushed through the quads. Awesome)

The hubs and I have been talking a lot. He really wants to start exercising regularly and lifting. *I* really want him to, as well. Because he is currently overweight, he feels incredibly insecure going to the gym by himself, ESPECIALLY for lifting. Totally understandable. Up to this point, I have been spending all my workout time at Bodyology (you all know how much I totally, utterly adore it there).


The more we talked, the more I realized how much more comfortable he would feel if we were going together to the gym. We certainly can’t afford to both go to Bodyology… so… I think I am going to take a leap, cancel my Bodyology (which is a good chunk of change for us, as you know) and start getting down to business at our local gym. I’ll put together some lifting sessions for both of us based on what I have learned, and some metabolic sessions as well.

The hubs wants this, but is also very nervous. He knows how hardcore my workouts are, and how hardcore I make them at the gym. And frankly, if I’m giving up Bodyology, I cannot afford to come down in intensity. It’s much harder to push yourself to the right place on your own. He’s starting in a much different place than I’m at, and is worried he won’t be able to do things. We talked about working at our own individual level for each workout… but he wasn’t happy about that. Maybe there is some kind of intimidation factor? I dunno.

I think it’s the right thing to do for my family. It means more together time, helping hubby develop some really healthy habits, and less worry about how much $$ I’m spending every month.

This could be super awesome for us. However… I’m not above being led down the “oh, let’s just skip it today” road. NO ONE is immune to that feeling, especially once it gets cold and dark. I asked my hubby for a real commitment, and so far I’ve gotten a luke-warm commitment.

So, let’s just say nothing has been decided. I still have all of November with Bodyology. I don’t have to let them know for another few weeks if I am going to cancel.

I can’t remember if I mentioned that I started therapy. I might have. Anyway, the woman I am seeing is great. I am hoping this works out. Weekly co-pays are a bitch when your check is right down to the penny already. I know it’s an important part of my learning to love myself, allowing myself to take up space, and allowing myself a healthy, normal relationship with food.

You can’t really put a price on that – can you? If you could, it would probably be worth a lot more than my co-pays.

Monday, October 28, 2013

Big Changes, Letting go for your own good.

Disclaimer: This post is NOT specifically weight-loss/fitness related. File this under the "Stuff" category.

The one thing in life you can always count on is change.

I wrote last week about my friend who passed away. Still no official word on what happened. His services were just this Saturday and it was incredibly sad. I hugged his wife and she was just a shell. You could see she barely heard what anyone said. His parents were the same. I hugged his sister extra tight. I just can’t imagine the pain of losing a brother/son/husband. Too much to even think about.

Then I got the shaft from a “good” friend of mine. I would have called him my “best” friend before Saturday night. He was my Man-of-Honor at my wedding. He is the God-Father of Thing 1. He and I have been friends since we were babies.


So, what happened? Well, there was a get-together at his house after the service on Saturday. I told him repeatedly to text me what time to come over. I canceled other plans. I sat and waited.

About 6:15 (service ended about 5:30) or so, I text him. I text my cousin (also invited to said get-together). No response from either. Hubby and I decide to go out (we were childless for the evening), but to stay close by in case I got a text back.

Around 8:00, I get a text – “Oops. Just got this text. Everyone will be leaving soon. I thought you ditched us”

Excuse me?

This doesn’t seem like a big deal, unless you also know a little back story. My “best” friend has done this repeatedly to me over the years. I’m forgotten. Conveniently not invited to things. I was hardly in his wedding (I sang for it). Of course, I was a bigger fatty then, and I probably would have fucked up the pictures or something (I can kinda see his wife feeling like that). I had my surgery in March, and I was home for more than 2 weeks from work. He knew this. I told him to come over several times. I really wanted to see him. He didn’t.

We haven’t actually gotten together in like, 2 years.

He lives about 1 mile from me.

So, the furious texting began. I let it all out.

He apologized profusely. His wife texted me an apology too. But at this point, I don’t care.

I’m tired of being forgotten by him. Put last on the list. I’m not asking to be first, I just want to be on it SOMEWHERE.

I thought about how few friendships I really have. Maybe it’s me. Maybe I am just so incredibly dull to be around that no one can maintain a friendship with me. Maybe my slight anti-socialism (I get nervous and uncomfortable around a lot of people when I don’t know them well) is my downfall. I’m not a drinker or a partier. I go to bed early because of the kids and workouts and church and the millions of other things I do. I’m not sure what it is. But, I have to do a lot of self-searching.

This story is a little convoluted. I know that if I had talked to him WAY before this about my hurt feelings, we wouldn’t have gotten into this. I was always afraid that if I approached him about it, he would just blow me off – maybe it wouldn’t be worth his time to work on the friendship. So I just kept bottling it all up. He works a ton, has a wife and 2 kids, one of which is only 2 months old. However, just as another example, I had to hear second hand that his wife was even pregnant. I never saw them the whole time. I had to send gifts through Amazon. I never even got a response to those gifts. I *think* they got them.

I’ve never met the baby.

You would think that after losing a friend so suddenly, I would be feeling the opposite way right now.

I would think:

“Life it too short, let it go”.

Instead, I’m thinking:

“Life is too short to cling to people who don’t care all that much about you”

What do YOU think? Mountain out of a molehill on my part? Any of you ever have to walk away from someone you have put your heart and soul into for your own good?

Monday, October 21, 2013

Everyday is a gift, and nothing is promised...

Sorry I was MIA all last week. I just didn’t feel like posting much. I had last Monday off with the hubby and minions, and well, it was awesome. We did fall crafts all last weekend, took things slow. Relaxed (as much as I can relax, that is). The kids were great. It was like a little “stay-cation”

Work last week was nothing really to write home about… I’ve got a good gig going here and I can’t screw it up. I want desperately to move along in my degree and I did some research into other programs. I found a distance learning program through Rutgers and I am pretty excited about the prospect. If I finished a ton of classes at Gateway and transferred those credits to the online program, I could do more classes at once and finish much sooner. It’s also less expensive than the 4 year program that is local to me. I wrote my advisor for her thoughts and I’m hoping to hear back from her soon. The light at the end of the tunnel might just be a *little* closer.

Got some bad news last night. A childhood friend of mine passed away suddenly. He was only 33. He had a beautiful wife and gorgeous twin boys who will be 1 year old next week. I cannot imagine his wife's heartbreak right now. I weep for her. I weep for him. I weep for our other friends who have regrets about their relationships. I weep for the loss. We do not know what happened to him yet, only that his wife found him slumped over in his chair in their yard... Things like this make you hold tighter to those you love. Everyday is a gift, and NOTHING is promised. Nothing.


In some more uplifting (no pun intended) news - I have some PR’s to report: 95# on my bench press x 3, and 120# on my back squat x 3. I’m still working the #45 single arm rows. My push-ups are getting much better… still working on those damn pull-ups.

I can’t WAIT to report triple digits on my bench press. I started out maxing at 80# on bench. I’m excited to see my progress.

On Saturday, after FMA, the hubs and I actually had some grown-up time while my kids visited with my mom. We went on an awesome 1.5 hour hike. It was amazing. The leaves changing, the crisp air. I LOVE fall. We actually found a trail that hubby had never been on before, and it led us up to the top of a huge rock with a gorgeous view of the water and trees. So incredible. As we were walking back to the car, I thought “I never could have done this a few years ago. Ever”.

More good news is I finally found a therapist. I’ve wanted to find someone for a long time to talk with, and schedule has always been an issue. But, I have finally found one. She sees people close to where I live, and she understands my incredibly full schedule. I felt comfortable with her and I think it’s going to work well.

Eating is good. No binging. No overeating. I feel calm about it. I am eating enough. I am eating when I am hungry. My weight is stable. I DO want it to go down. And it will go down. I am getting back into logging my food and I’m feeling OK with that – not anxious, not crazed. I don’t care when I get close to my calorie goal. I used to get so nervous when I got “too close” (to my already too low calorie goal) that I would either just not eat the rest of the day, or I would go totally overboard. Nope. Not one f*ck given. I’m striving for enough protein because I am lifting regularly. Besides that, my calories can be anything I want.

For an example: today’s menu:
- Coffee cocoa (with cinnamon – yum)
- Zucchini quiche with an apple
- Banana and PB
- Big salad with sunflower seeds, craisins, olives, peppers, carrots, good seasons dressing and lots of greens, ½ serving of butternut squash apple soup with brown rice (only ½ because I was VERY full)
- Coffee cocoa
- Before school: Other ½ of soup, 1 chicken meatloaf “muffin”
- After school: Garlic Honey chicken (crock pot recipe. So yummy), baked potato, steamed veggies.***
** This may not happen, only because sometimes I am so spent after my late class, all I want is my bed

I am very happy with this food plan today. It comes out to about 1900 calories.

Becuase I’ve just started tracking again, I don’t know exactly what my calorie intake has been for the last few months. It’s probably been in the mid 2000’s somewhere or I wouldn’t be maintaining. On days I don’t work-out, I will try to come in at around 2000, and on days I do workout, about I’ll go up to 2500 or so.

I will track and strive for these numbers for a while and see what happens. If I continue to maintain, I will slowly drop the calories, until I start to see a small drop in fat. So on and so forth.

I don’t care if it takes me a year to lose 30 lbs. Maybe longer. I want to be happy and relaxed about my food choices. I want to fuel that AWESOMENESS that is my lifting and workout life right now. THE END.

Friday, October 11, 2013

Keep at it, and "stay-cation"

You guys who have been hanging out here for a while know me by now.

I freak out. I am dramatic. I am high-strung.

I know all these things about myself.

Then, I take a moment, and I let things marinate in my brain…

7 years.

It will take about 7 years for me to finish what I’ve started.

7 years that will go by anyway, regardless of my getting a degree or not.

So? What’s a girl to do?

This girl keeps at it. Even if it’s one class at a time (and with classes like microbiology and organic chemistry, that might just have to happen), this girl will keep going.

There will be tears. There will be stress and frustration.

But hey, No one ever said it would be easy. But it will be worth it.

I was sitting in class last night and I just kept thinking “Damn, I LOVE this stuff!” and I really, really do! So, if I really, really love it – I have to keep doing it! *DUH*

So, you’ll be hearing me bitch for the next 7 years… um, yeah, sorry about that.

Moving on to other things…

The fam and I are having a little “stay-cation” this weekend. Hubby and I took Monday off (and the kids are off anyway). We are planning very little to do. This is the first weekend in MONTHS we don’t have a huge schedule to cram.

We are going to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s “Out of the Darkness” walk tomorrow. We walk in honor and memory of my young cousin, Brian, who took his own life. We walk as a family. Although Thing 1 and 2 obviously don’t understand, but they will feel the love of our family, and the sadness of missing “Uncle Brian”

I hope you all have a peaceful weekend

Thursday, October 10, 2013

When Dreams Begin to Die.

I know. How dramatic. But I have taken a hard look at things… And I am feeling some dreams start to tumble right off a cliff.

You all know I am in school part time. 2 courses per semester and usually 1 during the summer. I’ve been at this for a few years now.

Right now, to finish my associates (Dietetic Technician, Registered), not including this semester, I have at least another 1.5 years to finish.

Now, this is not horrible. However, for shits and giggles this morning I decided to do a job search for something in the field that I can move to while I continue to pursue my Registered Dietician degree at a 4 year university.

I came across a few interesting things in my short search.

1. There are almost NO jobs as a diet tech. I mean, like, there might have been one in all the search engines I looked in.
2. Diet techs seem to make less money than I do now working as an associate.

Both of these things are bad.

Ok, I think. Let’s go on over to the UNH website and see what I will need to accomplish to get the RD.

I found that, assuming I can take my standard 2 classes per semester, perhaps one in the summer, I will be going to school for an additional 4 years.

BEFORE any internship.

So, we are at 5.5 years, plus internship time.

Then I took a look at the tuition at this University. Obviously it costs more than our community college. You know the only reason I am able to take classes is because my job reimburses me for them. They give me a certain amount per year that cannot be exceeded. It would appear that because of the price difference between the college and the university, I will be unable to take 2 courses per semester. This will add approx 1.5 years to the original time line.

(Let’s not even talk about the minor heart attack I had when I saw courses like Anatomy and Physiology 1 and 2, Microbiology and Organic Chemistry. Remember people, I cried during my entire semester of Math 115)

Now we are at 7 years before the Bachelors degree is completed. During those 7 years, working anywhere in the field looks fairly bleak, because of the lower salary, and because if I leave the hospital I work at now, I will have no reimbursement at all.

You may now be able to see why I am not sure where to go from here. Am I wasting my time right now? Does it make any sense to continue in school for 7 years, staying in a job I dislike, and making a total career change at age 42?

I feel really, really lost right now.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

What happens when you SUCK at the gym

Last night was my first workout back after the Fitathlon.

It sucked.

I felt weak and tired.

Well, yeah. I beat the crap out of myself on Saturday!

I pushed. I gave it my all. Everything I HAD.

But there just wasn’t as much to give.

So what do you do when this happens? And – it’s inevitable that it will at some point.

You give yourself a freaking BREAK.

I had to just move on from that feeling of “failure”.

So, my pull-ups felt REALLY hard. I still did them.

My back squat form broke on my final rep of my set of #115. I still did them.

I had to drop-set on my dumb-bell shoulder press from #30 to #25 on my last set.

I still moved up to #30 this week – even if it was only for 2 of the 3 sets

I DID struggle through my single arm rows, which I am now at #45 with (proud!) But I finished my sets with those really f’in heavy DB’s.

The MET-CON was really tough, but doable. I pushed through it. I tried to take moves up to the next level, even just for ½ of the interval.

Overall, I know this workout didn’t “Suck”. I mean, the only workout you regret is the one you didn’t do, right? Right. But still. I love the feeling of empowerment I have normally when I leave the studio, and I just didn’t feel that yesterday.

So now what?

Well, I go back today, and I work as hard as I possibly can, and I continue to move forward. I push for the next level, and then I take 1-2 days to rest. I also eat a lot of good food. Tons of protein and awesome energizing carbs. Even a little *gasp* chocolate!!

I haven’t talked *too* much about my food lately, so the next post I will delve into that a little bit.

So, what do you do when you feel like you really SUCKED at the gym?

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Fitathlon 2013 Re-Cap

Where do I even begin?

We packed everything, including my minions, into the car at 6:30AM to get to Westport, CT on Saturday 10/5 in time for 7:30 set up. Volunteering beforehand was both a blessing and a curse. The blessing was it took my mind off of stressing. The curse was that even though I left my post 30 minutes prior to when my heat was SUPPOSED to begin, my challenger group was immediately called into our “pen”. No time to fuel. No time for water. I barely had time to put my ankle brace on.

The worst part about that rush to our waiting post was, well, the waiting. We sat in the pen for at least 30 minutes, and then we were let out into groups of 50 (I was in the 2nd group of 50). So, by the time our group got out, we still had to wait for the first group to do their calisthenics before waiting another 10 minutes to start ours.

The waiting was the WORST.

The whole time hubby and the (very cranky by this point) minions were standing by. Josh wanted to “run the race with me” and I didn’t think that was really going to happen. However, the atmosphere was very casual and people were walking/running beside the competitors, so when he started running alongside me (off of the course), it seemed fine. Poor hubby probably didn’t plan on walking a 5K while mostly holding the 3 year old, but he was a trooper.

So, Thing 1 was running alongside me (remember how slow I run, right? M’kay) and when we would approach an obstacle, I would tell him to get back with hubby (e.g. tired flips), or I would let him stay near me (e.g. jumping hay bales). I know he loved it and he felt very accomplished.

So, let’s talk about the race from my perspective.

One thing that bugged me was they changed things since the list was posted. For example, at the beginning, we were told we would do 40 pushups, 20 each of squats, lunges, jump squats and jump lunges. When we got there, there were no pushups (I wasn’t complaining) but then 30 each of the others. By the time I got done with those 4 things, I started to try to run, and felt so wobbly, I couldn’t I had to walk almost the first whole section – to the walking lunges. ¼ f’in mile of walking lunges.

Yes, that is why my legs are still killing me today.

8 – 5’ walls. Just a little too tall for my normal run and jump. They were a bitch to get over. But I did them, all of them, alone.

I was going through the course and everyone in my group was well ahead of me by this point. I didn’t care so much. I went through the speed and agility course, zig-zag runs, tires, jumping hay bales. Slowly, but done.

It was likely around this time I thought “What the hell did I do this for? This is not even a LITTLE bit fun”. But nothing was going to stop me from finishing. When people from the BEGINNER group that started AFTER us started to run past me, my heart sank a little. Although frustrated and annoyed, I kept going.

And really – if you were running through the course that fast, you should have challenged yourself up a level! Damn! Anyway…

The 200lb tire flips were my favorite. I loved, loved, loved them. The best part of them was when they big burley guy who was moderating the obstacle started walking towards me, asking if I needed any help. I flipped that bitch over and said “nah, I’m good”. The look on his face was PRICELESS. As was the look on his face when I quickly flipped it 7 more times – UP HILL.

The only real fail I had was the traverse wall – I got about ½ way on it and dropped off. I have NO experience with this and frankly, the construction of the wall was shoddy. The hand grips were loose and spinning and the foot grips were either already broken off or in the midst of falling off. Meh. I was ok with just letting that one go – for now.

Other obstacles came and went. The 8’ walls were a lot easier than I thought. I used the rope and I was up and over quickly – all three.

It’s funny, some of the obstacles I was most worried about were easy, and then some I felt ok about were much tougher.

Monkey bars were OK – I got across with a little help from my trainer, Mike. It was SOOOO nice to see him there moderating this obstacle. I was so close to the finish but I couldn’t help telling him “This kinda sucks, Mike”. He laughed and told me I was almost there. Monkey bars, rope slams (which I kicked ass on), 40 muther f’in pushups (another change from the original list) and a sprint (as sprint-y as I could muster in the damn sand) to the finish and I was done.

So. Done.

Exhausted was an understatement. Today is day 3 after the event and I’m just beginning to walk normally (damn, damn, damn you lunges).

Ok. Here is a mini re-cap of the above:
1. Waiting sucks
2. Waiting = not fueling and hydrating properly (my fail)
3. Lunges suck
4. Tire flips rule
5. Family rules

So, as far as I am concerned, I am super happy I accomplished this event, and I will not be doing it again. LOL. Of course, I think I might have said that last year about the Rugged Maniac, so I won’t discount it completely. Although I didn’t run with any other “Tuff Girls”, my tribe was with me the whole time so I felt very supported throughout. I’m a very lucky wifey and mama, for sure.


Friday, October 4, 2013

Friday Mish-Mash

I have a lot to vent about today. Some of it is fitness, some is not. So, if you aren’t interested in a venting session, you have been warned.

My stress level is pretty high right now. Between the normal family/work/school/church stuff, I have just learned that the committee I have served on for 15 months, worked hard with, and finally came to our conclusion (finding our church a new senior minister) has been blasted, and under minded, with our work, integrity, and honesty being called into question. Not by ONE person in leadership at our church, but TWO. WITHOUT cause, and without correct information. It came down to what can only be called a hissy-fit by a grown woman.

I am disgusted.

All our work could potentially be destroyed by her. She refuses to even discuss it at this point.

IF our work goes to waste because of this woman, I am finding a new church. And I will forever be marred by these events.

There is also drama in the theater company. One girl in particular is creating an awful lot of noise about menial shit. After venting via Facebook last night, she thought that my post was about her. *NEWS FLASH* NOT everything is about YOU!! I know, I know – it’s hard to believe. So, I dealt with her little dramatic self this morning at 5:45AM.

Thing 2 woke up covered in dried blood this morning. Nose bleeds are pretty common for him. He has seen the doctor, and I’ve been told it’s normal and OK. But I will NEVER get used to seeing him literally COVERED in blood. His hair was matted, all over his hands and face, a huge stain on his sheets. It breaks my heart. I know, that sounds dumb, but it does.

The race is tomorrow. Hubby wants to be supportive and come, and we can’t figure out childcare, because I have to be there so early to volunteer. So, I think we are all going to go, which will probably be more stressful than anything else, and frankly, will be exhausting for him, since HE will be the one having to run after the minions all day.

My stomach is in knots.

My knee is bothering me.

WHY am I doing this tomorrow?

I don’t even know anymore.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Cue the Freak-Out

(Just a side note: Sorry the blog has been so boring. No pics, no fun font or colors. It's my damn work computer. I'll be working on this)

Well, they say you should do one thing a day that scares you.

Did I REALLY think I wasn’t going to get nervous about this damn race?

Of sure, I could act all cavalier about it, but it was brewing down in my gut.

The freak out.

*Deep Breath*

Maybe because this race wasn’t on my radar till more recently than the RM. But now, I’m getting super nervous.

I think its more nerves of the un-known rather than the race itself.

I started getting worried about volunteering for hours before my heat – 7:30 to 11:45, then a 12:00 race. This was a bad idea, but I just didn’t know it yet.

So this morning I sent off frantic e-mails to coordinators to see if I could switch to the 11:00 heat and volunteer after. Then I set about checking my e-mail obsessively.

I finally heard back – they don’t need any more afternoon volunteers.


HOWEVER, she DID say she would switch me to the 11:00 heat.


I told her that meant my volunteer time was cut quite short, and I would be happy to come back after my heat and do whatever they needed me to for a few more hours.

Verdict: Accepted.

So, not perfect, but better. I’m just worried about my focus, my mental space, going from the registration table right to starting the race.

The very. Very. Long. Race.


Focus: What are my goals for this race?

Goal: Finish - priority

Goal: Finish most obstacles are prescribed.
(I say most because I don’t want to say all. If I make “all” my goal, and one just doesn’t work out, I need to be mentally OK with that)

Goal: Be able to smile at the finish line. Not cry from pain.
(Seriously, I’m not kidding. Have you ever done ¼ of walking lunges with hands behind your head? Me either – yet. I can only imagine it’s going to be painful)

Sections I am most nervous about:
40 pushups. These will not happen all on toe. I am going to do as many as I can on toe, and then I will drop to my knees. I wish I could do 40 pushups on my toes. I just can’t – YET.
Jump lunges. These are hard for me. Mostly on a balance point. I guess they will be what they will be.
8’ walls. There is a rope to help, and the wall is on a little bit of an angle, but I’m nervous about getting up and over these. There are 3 of them
Monkey bars. Never had the opportunity to practice for these at all. Not sure I can make it across 8ft of them. Not sure if I’ll make it 1 foot. Might drop like a stone. I have no clue.

So, that is 4 nerve-wracking challenges out of the 20. Not that I am feeling easy-breezy about the rest, but I know I can do them. Even the running sections. I can just take my slow job pace and keep moving.

Ok, I know you are tired of reading about my obsession here. So, I’ll let it go… for today.

What have you done lately that has scared you?

Wednesday, October 2, 2013


I get inspiration from a lot of different sources now.

I used to derive inspiration from tight, hard bodies with messages like: “Suck it up, loser”

Ok, I’m paraphrasing, but you know what I mean. It’s called “Fitspiration” and it’s everywhere.

Now, I am not saying I don’t like a lot of those memes out there on Facebook, but some of them are meant to bring someone down, and not build them up.

And I would much prefer to be lifted up – and I would VERY much prefer to lift OTHERS up!

In that vein, I LOVE the following video. I love the message – no matter what, hard work trumps all. Not in comparison to someone ELSES hard work – but YOUR OWN hard work. THAT will ALWAYS trump all.

This can be applied to so much in life. Not just fitness. Not just food. But Life. Work. Family. God.

Now, this video may not speak to you like it does to me. When I watch it, my eyes well up with tears and I feel it in my chest. This video doesn’t have to do that for you.

BUT you should find something that DOES.

So – can you give any more? Are you sure?

Rise and Shine.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Fitathalon Challenge, 2013


THIS, my friends, is what is in store for me on Saturday. I am running the challenger course. There is also a newbie, a beginner, and then a competitor course, the competitor being the most advanced. It's mostly the length or # or reps that change for each level.

I am going into this one like I did the RM - one thing at a time, at my own pace. Blinders on. No one around but me.

Hey Challengers!
I hope you all are excited for Saturday's event! Wondering what you're getting yourself into this weekend? Well here it is! The complete list and description of the obstacles for Saturday's event:

1. Calisthenics
Challenger - 40 pushups, then 20 of each (lunges, squats, Jump lunges, Jump squats)

2. Run

3. Lunges
The distance varies by level. Guaranteed to make your legs burn. Take a rest if needed but you can only lunge - no walking. Hands must be behind your head as you lunge.

4. 5' Walls
Up and over and over and over and over. There will be help for everyone but the competitors. Watch the video on our Facebook page if you're not sure how to climb them.

5. Speed and Agility
Tires,tires, tires. Add some cones, hurdles, hay and ladders. Let's see how mobile and agile you are. This is a looooonnngggg S&A course!

6. Run

7. Tire Flips
200lb+ tires. The tires are different sizes but pretty much weigh the same amount. You can do it solo or with help. It doesn't matter unless you're a competitor. Competitors must flip the tires solo.
Challenger - 8 flips

8. Chain pulls
30lbs, 100 yards. You must pull it while backpedaling. This will fire up hams and glutes.

9. Wheelbarrow Push
It sorta looks like a wheel barrel. It's our version. Push it through grass UPHILL for the designated distance and turn around and come back.

10. Balance Beams
Going down you're on telephone poles (yes they're round), coming back you're on 4 inches wide and 8 feet long planks. Competitors if you fall off you must go back to the beginning.

11. Transverse Walls
We gotta see you move in different planes. Hope you've tried rock climbing. Climb to the end without touching the ground or the top of the wall. Competitors if you fall off you must go back to the beginning.

12. 8" Walls
Big walls. No worries you have a rope to help you. You gotta do it three times.

13. Ruck Sack Trail run
Back to nature. Get your run on. It's maybe a ¼ mile. You'll be carrying 25lbs on your back.

Beach Time Obstacle course:
14. Over/unders - Leaping and ducking. Over 2 foot hurdles, Under 3 foot hurdles. 48 hurdles in all.

15. Cargo Net - Balance, core and upper body strength will be on display in this obstacle. It's a simple 8 foot climb across the net. Again and again.

16. Tunnels - Get low and crawl through the sand!!!

17. Monkey Bars
8 feet across. You have to grab every bar. Competitors if you fall you must go back to the beginning.

18. Push Ups -
Crank them out.
Challengers – 40
Should feel real good after Monkey bars.

19. Ropes Slams
40ft, 2inches. Slam it as hard and as fast as you can for the allotted time. 2 hand slams ALL OUT! 30 seconds! Competitor - 60 seconds.

20. Sprint
100 yard Sprint to the finish line. Let's see what you have left in the tank.

Whew. I'm a little winded just reading it. What do you think??