Wow – where to start?
You know I was incredibly nervous on Friday. But by Saturday morning, I felt much calmer. I don’t know exactly why, but I just wasn’t as agitated (until we took a wrong turn that ended up costing us almost 20 minutes). I showed up at about 9:20 for my 10:00 heat, and the race was run so efficiently, that I was able to walk right up to the registration tent, check in and make my way nearby to the starting line in about 5 minutes.
After 3 potty trips (TMI, I know) they called out heat into the “pen”. You hop your first of many walls just getting into the starting area. I hung back a little. I knew I wanted to be near the back so I didn’t feel rushed. I wanted to focus on one foot in front of the other, and each obstacle as it came up, and nothing more.
I got a kiss from the hubs and said a prayer as I waited and suddenly we were off. I started jogging at my slow pace, and just kept moving. As I jogged along and came to the first set of walls – we had a back-log of runners. So, basically, we waited in line. Meh, I don’t mind a little energy reservation. I wasn’t in this for the time. I was it in to see what I could do.
The first few walls felt easy. I remember last time coming to the first wall and thinking “I don’t even know where to start here!” Now, I have my groove down on walls. As they got taller, I added a little running jump to boost myself to the top. However, they did get tall enough where that wasn’t enough, so I utilized the side braces to scramble up.
Walls – check
There were some new obstacles that surprised me and I was delighted that I flew right through them. Things like “pit jumping” – 5 very deep, long pits in a row, each getting wider as they went along, to leap over.
Pits – check
Logs to balance/walk up and down – check
There was a trail run through the wooded area. Some logs were cut down, and you had to go over or under them. It was here that I turned my left ankle, just slightly. I didn’t fall. Caught myself and slowed to a walk for a few minutes. It didn’t feel terrible, so I returned to my jogging pace.
There were some wicked hills to run up. Damn
Running hills – check
Tires – check
More walls – check
About ½ way through I started wondering where the mud was. LOL. I found out very soon.
We got into hills and ditches full of mud. Of course, being covered in mud makes things just a little harder. But dammit, I was having a fucking ball.
Because I was KICKING ASS.
Balance beams over deep muddy water – check
Uneven logs jumps – check
Huge cargo net walls – check
It was about 2/3 of the way through I thought about my nemesis obstacle. The one that last year I would never have accomplished without Christa at the top pulling me up. The moment I thought to myself “I don’t even think it’s here this year” I came over a hill and there is was. I was NOT scared. I went at it full force and I got through it. By myself. With my own strength, persistence, AND problem solving skills. I’ll come back to this at the end when I go into all the things I learned during this race.
Bitch tube climb – check
There was a lot of mud, very cold water, cargo climbs, and of course, the huge slide. I know the slide is some of the competitors favorite but I really hate it. Because I have NO control. Once I slide down, and I’m getting faster and faster and swerving all over – I can’t control my body and that kind of thing really scares me. But, before I knew it, I was splashing into the muddy water below and that part was over.
Slide - check
Another huge cargo net climb and 3 fire pit leaps and I was almost done. (I really have to try and post pics. I’ll work on it.)
Fire jumping - check
The last leg was a wall climb, roll over a large cargo net suspended over the concrete (shudder) and a climb down. Then – the obligatory “I am awesome” picture in front of the Rugged Maniac sign.
FINISH LINE – CHECK
My ankle got worse as the day wore on. I elevated and iced it on Saturday night and I have been wearing a support brace. A little sprain and some bruises are all I came out of this with. Pretty damn good!
I learned a lot in this race. I mean SO much. More than I will probably be able to express. But here are a few things
1. I’m awesome – sorry, it’s true. And every once in a while it’s good to toot your own horn. So, toot-toot.
2. I’m very social. I talked to people all over the race. People I didn’t know. I teamed up with 2 ladies running together and we helped each other over the tallest of the walls near the middle. They were awesome. I jumped over a few of those pits with another woman who was scared to do it, so I told her we would do it together. We both made it.
3. I am much stronger than last year- ESPECIALLY in my core strength. Last year I always felt like I was going to topple over, but this year I felt so steady and strong on the top of those walls. I felt confident and sure of myself. Lots of the balance obstacles were a result of the stronger core. Core strength = total awesomeness.
I could go on and on, but I won’t. I had an awesome experience and I WILL be doing them again – as a matter of fact, now I need to look forward to next Saturday doing the Fitathalon!
PROGRESS!
Monday, September 30, 2013
Friday, September 27, 2013
T-1 Day, AKA "Oh Shit"
I had a very serious “I’m going to bale on this race Saturday” moment yesterday. It was right before going into my exam, and the feeling of being totally overwhelmed took over.
I had a fight or flight moment.
And I really, really wanted to choose FLIGHT.
Insert *DEEP BREATH* here.
So, I did what any other 21st century person would do.
I posted it on Facebook.
I knew posting it would illicit at least a *little* support, and that is all it would take. Because then people would KNOW that I was thinking about sleeping in on Saturday and pretending that I wasn’t supposed to be somewhere very, very different.
And yes, it worked.
I am still really terrified I’m not going to be able to do it. I am terrified of letting myself down. There is no one else to impress out there. Just me.
But, I’m still going to do it.
I’m trying to change my attitude about it a little bit. I have been approaching it as a “redemption” race of sorts. This is obviously inducing a lot of pressure. If I can start thinking of it as a gage – to see how far I have come in the last year – maybe, just maybe I can just go and have FUN.
FUN??? What?? These aren’t supposed to be fun!!!
Oh wait, it IS supposed to be fun.
Crap, I forgot about that
So, this is what it comes down to. I will run the Rugged Maniac tomorrow. It will be what it will be. I need to let go and give the whole thing up to God. The end.
Of course, you all will get a recap, (whether you want one or not…) but likely not till Monday.
Have a good weekend, people!
I had a fight or flight moment.
And I really, really wanted to choose FLIGHT.
Insert *DEEP BREATH* here.
So, I did what any other 21st century person would do.
I posted it on Facebook.
I knew posting it would illicit at least a *little* support, and that is all it would take. Because then people would KNOW that I was thinking about sleeping in on Saturday and pretending that I wasn’t supposed to be somewhere very, very different.
And yes, it worked.
I am still really terrified I’m not going to be able to do it. I am terrified of letting myself down. There is no one else to impress out there. Just me.
But, I’m still going to do it.
I’m trying to change my attitude about it a little bit. I have been approaching it as a “redemption” race of sorts. This is obviously inducing a lot of pressure. If I can start thinking of it as a gage – to see how far I have come in the last year – maybe, just maybe I can just go and have FUN.
FUN??? What?? These aren’t supposed to be fun!!!
Oh wait, it IS supposed to be fun.
Crap, I forgot about that
So, this is what it comes down to. I will run the Rugged Maniac tomorrow. It will be what it will be. I need to let go and give the whole thing up to God. The end.
Of course, you all will get a recap, (whether you want one or not…) but likely not till Monday.
Have a good weekend, people!
Thursday, September 26, 2013
T-2 Days!
I was very proud this morning to wake up and see my “story” had been printed in HoneyBee’s blog. She reached out to me a few months ago, and frankly, it took me a while to get it together. Telling my “story” is not easy… or rather, condensing my story is not easy. As I have been revealing in the past few posts, my weight “story” practically began at birth.
It’s Thursday and it’s T-2 Days till the Rugged Maniac. Typing that gave me the unmistakable butterflies I have been feeling on and off all week. I am a team of one. There is no one to lean on. There is only me.
I’ve been practicing some self talk for the starting line, and planning my warm-up session very carefully. I know, it sounds silly. But I have been thinking of some power statements that might help psych myself up for the start. Things like:
“You’ve got this. You are a machine”
“You are a beast”
“One step at a time”
“You are strong”
“You are powerful”
“You can do this”
“Focus”
“In it to the end”
I feel silly typing these out. But the focus they create when I say them to myself is undeniable. It takes me from wanting to give up in the middle of something to pushing through to the end. If you have never used power statements before, just give it a try. I pick a focus point, stare at it and talk to myself.
A little prayer won’t hurt either. J
“This course is twisting and full of hills, measuring just over 3.1 miles and packed with more than 25 obstacles. You will climb over massive dirt dunes, crawl through dark and winding tunnels, and hurdle fire. We redesigned our wall obstacles to be even more challenging and you will face a massive two-story cargo climb in prime view of spectators. The weather will be sunny, reaching highs in the low to mid 70s around midday; perfect for racing and grabbing a cold Harpoon afterwards.”
**GULP**.
Speaking of which, I think I’ll be happy as long as I don’t get hurt! My knee is doing a lot better, but I just don’t want to screw it up and get off my game.
I PRed my dead lift last night 190x5 reps. Very please with myself!
I’m headed to school after work for an exam for Nutrition III… I can hardly think about it with so much other stuff going on. “Fiddler” opens this weekend and I have to be there to help. RM Saturday, interview candidate on Saturday and hear him preach on Sunday.
And I gotta be honest. I’ve been trying to ignore it, but my chest is getting tight and I’m starting to cough a little. I’m not going to ignore it any more. After my exam, I am ducking out of class, headed to get some vitamin C and home to sleep. Hoping this does NOT come to a head.
OK, guys – I’m out.
Feature! :-)
Please go check out my guest blog/feature at HoneyBee! I'm very honored to have been asked for my story!
LINK
:-) I'll be back later.
LINK
:-) I'll be back later.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Fueling for the Rugged Maniac
Goals are going swimmingly so far this week. Yes, it’s only Tuesday, but I don’t anticipate any issues. Quiz #1 down, still studying for a test on Thursday. Keeping hydrated and I have done quite a bit of looking into nutrition to fuel my race.
Because the RM is a 5k, I’m not really going to need anything mid-race. I want something that will be good fuel, but not heavy. I got some good advice – “don’t deviate from your norm”.
I was asked “what would you eat before a hardcore workout?”
My answer – about 30 min before I would eat something like Ezekiel bread with PB (if it’s in the evening) or iced protein coffee (in the AM). That feels good to me. So, why mess with perfection? I might add something like a banana right before, but besides that, I feel good about the plan. My heat is at 10:00AM, so it’s not like I have to worry about a whole days worth of nutrition, and something not agreeing with me, etc. Specifically because my nerves go RIGHT to my tummy, I need to be careful of that, and why not deviating from the norm is especially good for me.
Woohoo! I feel good about that part of my race day!
I’m getting super nervous though.
I think back to last year. After last year’s race, I totally crashed mentally and emotionally. I did not feel a sense of camaraderie in the race like I thought I would. Thinking of it now, I know a lot of that was MY insecurity with the other girls, and NOT that I was really being left out.
I also look back at my mentality about my nutrition leading up to the race. I wanted to be the smallest and leanest I could be – of course, my thought was that being lighter would help me up and over those walls. This logic MIGHT be true, but I don’t think I had as much energy as I could have going through the course. That day, before the 12:00 heat – I ate 2 bananas. That’s it. I wanted to be “light”.
*Sigh* I wasn’t giving myself a chance!
Now I know I need to eat for energy, and this year I have been paying a lot of attention to getting stronger. My rope climbs are getting really freaking awesome. I can do about 10 full pushups in a row without my form breaking. This is a big gain for me. My upper body strength is something I have been focused on because there was one obstacle last year…
One… I couldn’t do it myself.
If Christa had not been there, I would have had to go around it last year. She practically pulled me up a freaking pipe on this tiny little rope they gave us to climb. I don’t know why I care that I needed help. I don’t know why I see that obstacle as my freaking nemesis, but I do. I’ve been thinking about it for a year. No lie. In the last few days I have come to realize something: that obstacle might not even be in the course this year! I actually have to laugh at this. If it’s there, I really hope to climb it on my own. If it’s not, I am sure there will be something else for me to conquer!
So, yeah, getting nervous. Going to Bodyology to lift some heavy shit tonight. Will feel good after, for sure.
Hubby and I are working on a plan for me to be able to stay at Bodyology. It’s not set yet, so I’m in a state of limbo, but regardless, I have tonight, tomorrow, and the next few weeks before any concrete decision has to be made.
Yes, I’m going to make it at the last moment. I’m going to keep this precious gift I have as long as I possibly can. He and I are both trying to get in as much overtime as possible. We are lucky to have that opportunity. And I am blessed I have a husband who is so supportive of my dreams and goals.
Alright – back to work!
Because the RM is a 5k, I’m not really going to need anything mid-race. I want something that will be good fuel, but not heavy. I got some good advice – “don’t deviate from your norm”.
I was asked “what would you eat before a hardcore workout?”
My answer – about 30 min before I would eat something like Ezekiel bread with PB (if it’s in the evening) or iced protein coffee (in the AM). That feels good to me. So, why mess with perfection? I might add something like a banana right before, but besides that, I feel good about the plan. My heat is at 10:00AM, so it’s not like I have to worry about a whole days worth of nutrition, and something not agreeing with me, etc. Specifically because my nerves go RIGHT to my tummy, I need to be careful of that, and why not deviating from the norm is especially good for me.
Woohoo! I feel good about that part of my race day!
I’m getting super nervous though.
I think back to last year. After last year’s race, I totally crashed mentally and emotionally. I did not feel a sense of camaraderie in the race like I thought I would. Thinking of it now, I know a lot of that was MY insecurity with the other girls, and NOT that I was really being left out.
I also look back at my mentality about my nutrition leading up to the race. I wanted to be the smallest and leanest I could be – of course, my thought was that being lighter would help me up and over those walls. This logic MIGHT be true, but I don’t think I had as much energy as I could have going through the course. That day, before the 12:00 heat – I ate 2 bananas. That’s it. I wanted to be “light”.
*Sigh* I wasn’t giving myself a chance!
Now I know I need to eat for energy, and this year I have been paying a lot of attention to getting stronger. My rope climbs are getting really freaking awesome. I can do about 10 full pushups in a row without my form breaking. This is a big gain for me. My upper body strength is something I have been focused on because there was one obstacle last year…
One… I couldn’t do it myself.
If Christa had not been there, I would have had to go around it last year. She practically pulled me up a freaking pipe on this tiny little rope they gave us to climb. I don’t know why I care that I needed help. I don’t know why I see that obstacle as my freaking nemesis, but I do. I’ve been thinking about it for a year. No lie. In the last few days I have come to realize something: that obstacle might not even be in the course this year! I actually have to laugh at this. If it’s there, I really hope to climb it on my own. If it’s not, I am sure there will be something else for me to conquer!
So, yeah, getting nervous. Going to Bodyology to lift some heavy shit tonight. Will feel good after, for sure.
Hubby and I are working on a plan for me to be able to stay at Bodyology. It’s not set yet, so I’m in a state of limbo, but regardless, I have tonight, tomorrow, and the next few weeks before any concrete decision has to be made.
Yes, I’m going to make it at the last moment. I’m going to keep this precious gift I have as long as I possibly can. He and I are both trying to get in as much overtime as possible. We are lucky to have that opportunity. And I am blessed I have a husband who is so supportive of my dreams and goals.
Alright – back to work!
Monday, September 23, 2013
And if you believe that, I have some land in Florida to sell you...
Second post of the day
*gasp!*
This one is prompted by money. Well, not so much money as advertisements.
I read a lot of blogs. Some are weight loss, some are "healthy lifestyle", exercise related, diet related, mish-mash of everything related. Hello, I even follow one particular make-up blog that I love. When I first started reading blogs and blogging myself, I had NO idea that you could possibly make money off of a blog. I just didn’t get it. I figured the “ads” (if I even noticed them) in the side-bar of someone’s blog were for something they just really believed in.
I know, I know – naive.
So when these bloggers were going on trips? Tagging fancy restaurants and touting the next most awesome product – I thought, “Wow, they are so lucky to be able to afford trips like that” and “This (insert product name here) must be great, (insert blogger name here) is talking about it a TON!”
I know, I know…
So, yes, I became disenchanted when I started realizing that people were getting this stuff for free in exchange to say nice things about the products to their many readers. I really didn’t even mind it ALL that much… however, when the product has nothing really to do with the blog at all (maxi-pads, for example) then, well… I have to laugh. And then un-friend the blogger. Not that they will miss me from their hoards of other followers. Meh.
So, now it comes down to the real reason for this post. I don’t hock product. If I mention something it’s because I tried it, loved/hated it and want to let you all know about it. That’s it.
Read my (newly) revised blog sub-title, and you will see I am resisting the diet dogma out there. I don’t think there is “one” plan for everyone, but I DO think there is “A” plan for everyone to become their best, strongest, healthiest, happiest self. Please notice I didn’t say their “smallest, or slimmest” self.
That’s all. Back to work and sneaking in a little studying before class.
*gasp!*
This one is prompted by money. Well, not so much money as advertisements.
I read a lot of blogs. Some are weight loss, some are "healthy lifestyle", exercise related, diet related, mish-mash of everything related. Hello, I even follow one particular make-up blog that I love. When I first started reading blogs and blogging myself, I had NO idea that you could possibly make money off of a blog. I just didn’t get it. I figured the “ads” (if I even noticed them) in the side-bar of someone’s blog were for something they just really believed in.
I know, I know – naive.
So when these bloggers were going on trips? Tagging fancy restaurants and touting the next most awesome product – I thought, “Wow, they are so lucky to be able to afford trips like that” and “This (insert product name here) must be great, (insert blogger name here) is talking about it a TON!”
I know, I know…
So, yes, I became disenchanted when I started realizing that people were getting this stuff for free in exchange to say nice things about the products to their many readers. I really didn’t even mind it ALL that much… however, when the product has nothing really to do with the blog at all (maxi-pads, for example) then, well… I have to laugh. And then un-friend the blogger. Not that they will miss me from their hoards of other followers. Meh.
So, now it comes down to the real reason for this post. I don’t hock product. If I mention something it’s because I tried it, loved/hated it and want to let you all know about it. That’s it.
Read my (newly) revised blog sub-title, and you will see I am resisting the diet dogma out there. I don’t think there is “one” plan for everyone, but I DO think there is “A” plan for everyone to become their best, strongest, healthiest, happiest self. Please notice I didn’t say their “smallest, or slimmest” self.
That’s all. Back to work and sneaking in a little studying before class.
Weekly Goal: Be MIGHTY
I have come to the conclusion (several times, actually) that I don’t do well with “challenges”. The kind of long (or short) term challenge that focuses on specific goals (usually weight loss/number specific).
I started to think I just wasn’t a “challenge” kind of person. Putting a time limit on my progress didn’t motivate me. It was the opposite. In the face of feeling like it wasn’t going to happen, I would regress. Usually sabotaging myself.
Isn’t the human psyche interesting/annoying/bitchy?
However, I’ve been reading a lot of peeps lately that set themselves weekly goals. Immediately I thought “Nope. I don’t do challenges. They just don’t work for me” But thinking on it some more, I realized that a weekly goal is very different from a challenge. The biggest difference being that I am the boss of a goal of any sort. I sent my rules.
And I’m not focused on the scale right now, so I’m not pushing for a weight loss number. My weekly goals can be anything. So, in the spirit of challenging myself in other ways where there is NO time constraint, I am taking a step into the idea of weekly goals. So, I’m here to hash some out. Bear with me…
Goals for week 9/23-9/29
- Keep hydrated every day. Consume at least 80 oz of liquid a day
- Make a plan and follow through on proper nutrition for my Rugged Maniac
- FMA 2 days this week (T, W)
- LIGHT workout Friday (a small circuit maybe)
- RUGGED MANIAC on Saturday morning
Obviously most of these focus on my RM Saturday. In addition to thinking about that, I have my normal barrage of other things, including a quiz today and an exam on Thursday.
These “goals” might look like any other plan of action, and I guess in a way, right now, they are. But that’s OK. Because I’m the boss, and I decide what my goals are. What can’t I call them goals? Why shouldn’t I feel good about accomplishing them? These things are not hum0drum everyday things that everyone does. To me, this weeks list is “small” but MIGHTY.
Actually, let’s add that to the list.
This week, I will be MIGHTY.
I started to think I just wasn’t a “challenge” kind of person. Putting a time limit on my progress didn’t motivate me. It was the opposite. In the face of feeling like it wasn’t going to happen, I would regress. Usually sabotaging myself.
Isn’t the human psyche interesting/annoying/bitchy?
However, I’ve been reading a lot of peeps lately that set themselves weekly goals. Immediately I thought “Nope. I don’t do challenges. They just don’t work for me” But thinking on it some more, I realized that a weekly goal is very different from a challenge. The biggest difference being that I am the boss of a goal of any sort. I sent my rules.
And I’m not focused on the scale right now, so I’m not pushing for a weight loss number. My weekly goals can be anything. So, in the spirit of challenging myself in other ways where there is NO time constraint, I am taking a step into the idea of weekly goals. So, I’m here to hash some out. Bear with me…
Goals for week 9/23-9/29
- Keep hydrated every day. Consume at least 80 oz of liquid a day
- Make a plan and follow through on proper nutrition for my Rugged Maniac
- FMA 2 days this week (T, W)
- LIGHT workout Friday (a small circuit maybe)
- RUGGED MANIAC on Saturday morning
Obviously most of these focus on my RM Saturday. In addition to thinking about that, I have my normal barrage of other things, including a quiz today and an exam on Thursday.
These “goals” might look like any other plan of action, and I guess in a way, right now, they are. But that’s OK. Because I’m the boss, and I decide what my goals are. What can’t I call them goals? Why shouldn’t I feel good about accomplishing them? These things are not hum0drum everyday things that everyone does. To me, this weeks list is “small” but MIGHTY.
Actually, let’s add that to the list.
This week, I will be MIGHTY.
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