Backward to Forward

I wanted to get this blog started early. Work will be busy and I have a lot to say.

So, as if the pants-wakeup from Friday wasn't enough to keep me totally clean this weekend. Really, fatty? Really??

So, I got on the scale last night. You know, night time, when you weigh the most from all the crap you've stuffed your face with all day. Yeah. I needed the harsh number wake-up call.

And boy, I got it. I cried all the way through my shower. I should be at goal now, not 25 lbs away from it.

I can't even bring myself to type the number. I know what it is.

WTF did I do to myself? WTF happened to get me here?

I got lax. I got lazy. I got overwhelmed. I lost it. I have a LOT of answers as to WHY. Those don’t help me now. None of that helps me to move ON.

Getting it back is SOOO much harder.

I looked in my husband’s eyes this morning: “I need your help. I have to get back on track and I really, really need your help”. He knew I was serious and he told me he would help me.

There is NO junk in the house. Not a random piece of Halloween candy, not ½ bag of mini chocolate chips bought for… well, damn, I don’t even remember WHY they were there in the first place. Nothing. It’s gone. Not just thrown away, but destroyed under hot water, or crushed to smithereens in trash cans.

Anyone with a food or sugar addiction knows, that is the only way it’s *really* gone. Merely throwing it out is not good enough.

Eats for today:
BB: 1 scoop Click, almond milk, water, ice
B: ½ cup plain oats, water, ½ banana, just under 2 tbs PB
S: 1 oz low fat cheese, ½ banana
L: spaghetti squash bake, 2 quinoa spinach bites (all made at home, whole ingredients)
S: flax wrap, 2 tbs PB
D: leftover lemon chicken, carrots, kale chips (made at home)

I have to get out to the store for more fresh veggies. I am totally completely out. Not even an onion to be had. Sad shape.

This post is not just a *waa, waa* post. I do have a little good news to share as well:

Saturday at Bodyology, I PR’ed on my hex dead lift – 185lbs, upped my shoulder press to 25 lbs each arm (from 20) and upped my box jump.

That 185 almost didn’t happen. Focus, determination, and coaching helped make it happen. Not once, but 4 total. Now I need that focus and determination back into my food.

JUST FOR TODAY. I will eat my planned food and only more if I am truly hungry. That “more” will be a fruit or veggie. I will walk at lunch and run stairs on 2 -10 minute breaks.

Keep moving forward... even when you have moved SO far backward...