4/90. For today...

Last night was the 4th meeting in my 90/90. I'm not sharing too much lately. I feel like I'm still establishing what I am calling "my walk" in my program. I know I will feel when it's right to share with the group.

Things challenge you when you are an emotional/compulsive eater. Any time turmoil, or even joy occurs, you feel the need to cope or celebrate with food. It's a habit that needs constant attention. I've had a very challenging day, because hubby and I got really crappy news about an upcoming performance of our theater company. We are working on saving it, but it's very stressful. We may have to let a LOT of people (including ourselves) down, after a lot of work. The space we were booked in to perform in just over 2 weeks has booted us. We have NO place to perform as of this moment. Work in progress.

Today, I am constantly giving it all up to HP. Whatever it is meant to be, it will be. If we have to cancel, after giving it every try we could, it will be disappointing. But eating over it will not change it. So, why put myself in a worse place by doing that?

I feel the worst for my hubby. This is his dream - to run a theater company. We will keep moving forward, regardless of what happens to this particular performance.

The menu for today is basically the same as the day before. My food is not "perfect" today. Not my totally, pedestal-worthy-pristine-perfect idea of it. But it's ok. There is no obsessing. There is no binging. There is no sugar. Calories are great. Why should I ask for anything more? I won't ask for more. Not for today.

So, if any of you don't already follow Stephen, well, you should. Because he has lost 300 lbs. Yes, you read that right. He's battling a shit-ton of stuff. He's fighting the good fight. He's DOING IT. Check him out. For real.

Sorry for the short post - I'm running to class for the first of my final exams. Wish me luck!