Being vegan, and math sucks

Nope, not weight loss/calorie math. Regular old algebraic math. Well, I guess if I am going to be perfectly truthful, MATH doesn't suck. I suck at MATH.

I haven’t had to deal with math since like, sophomore year of high school. I was a music major in college and we didn't need to know no stinkin' math.

Now, of course, I do. Grrr...

I am painstakingly working my way through it. We are only in the 3rd week of classes... and our first test is Thursday.

I know you don't want to hear about my math woes, so I'll cut it out.

Second day of being vegan. It's going well, but I miss my Greek yogurt and cheese. I am not going to fall onto fake shit that they make out of processed soy in order to up it right now. However, it's a point I am going to bring up in my paper - how *would* I increase my protein without those things? Obviously I would need to if this was a long term situation.

Last night I ran home after class and threw together some vegetarian (ok, I guess vegan) chili. It came out good. Made oatmeal and the boys lunches, did dishes, laundry, and I was done. The theater company hubby and I run is in tech week for our show, and he's MIA for this whole week. It's like being a single parent.

Eats for today:
B: "Nutty Monkey" mug oats
S: huge, delicious apple
L: 1 1/4 cup vegan chili
S: 1/4 cup trail mix
S: 1 Joseph's Flax flat bread, 3 tbs garlic hummus
D: Big salad - I need some raw veggies bad...

Yesterday I was about 200 calories under my allotment. I was hungry going to bed, but frankly, I couldn’t figure out what to eat, so I just went to sleep. Today? I'll likely be right at my calorie goal, if not a little over. If I'm careful with the salad, I should be fine. But I've been super hungry today, and all the food above logged (without salad) leaves me about 300 calories left for the day.

I don't know why I start freaking out when I see that. 300 calories is a substantial amount of calories... but I get freaked thinking I have eaten too much, or I'm going to be over. Truth be told, it's this kind of freak out that has, in the past, led me to overeat/binge. I get a prevailing sense of "who cares? I'm over anyway!" or, "Why bother?" I will not let that tug of panic pervade me today. My calories are fine. My meal plan, although higher in carbohydrates than I normally eat, is fine. It's all fine. Just. Relax.

Work till 4:45, class 5:15 to 6:30. Then home to my boys for an evening of cleaning, laundry, hugs and love.

I'll take it.

Keep moving forward!