Playing catch up

Good Monday, bloggers!

First, let's catch up on this weekends stats:

Saturday:

Cals 1334 Fat 45 g Cholesterol 474 mg Sodium 3060 mg Carbs 164 g Fiber 30 g Protein 53 g Sugars 38

Sunday:

Cals 1377 Fat 58 g Cholesterol 68 mg Sodium 3165 mg Carbs 143 g Fiber 36 g Protein 75 g Sugars 33 g

Today:

Cals 1351 Fat 47 g Cholesterol 78 mg Sodium 3823 mg Carbs 158 g Fiber 35 g Protein 79 g Sugars 59 g

Needless to say, I was VERY happy with these and VERY proud of myself that I stuck to my plan to a Tee. There were some moments that I felt weak. I mean, REALLY weak. But I talked with hubby, and I reminded myself what I REALLY want.

I have a goal. Eating/drinking _____________ is NOT going to get me to that goal.

Same with my exercise routine. I planned a lighter workout on Friday, and a rest day on Sunday. But, in actuality, this was my workout schedule:

Friday: 25 minute kickboxing, 10 minutes of tabata

Saturday: Bodyology- Drowning in Sweat. WOH. It REALLY kicked my ass… or should I say I kicked ass. It felt hard because I was pushing as hard as I possibly could.

Sunday: Spinning – another tough one. Felt wobbly after!

I have a goal. Pushing through ___________ workout WILL help me get to that goal.

I tried a few new recipes this weekend. One was breakfast on Saturday – egg “pancakes”. 2 eggs, 1 banana, 1 tsp vanilla ext, and some cinnamon. Blend in Ninja, cook on griddle like pancakes. They were great! I threw 2 tbs on natural PB on them and it was an awesome post-workout recovery breakfast!

Also tried chicken pot pie out of one of my clean eating cookbooks. The book calls for the mixture to be topped with homemade biscuits. I say screw the biscuits and I topped it with mashed sweet potato. So, I guess it was a homemade chicken pot pie/Sheppard’s pie thing. Whatever it was, it was really yummy.

I also made some crock-pot “refried” beans yesterday. They came out very good as well. They will likely be lunch tomorrow!

Eats for today:

16 oz chai tea

16 oz herbal tea

20 oz water

B: 1 slice ezekial toast, 2 tbs natural PB

23 oz water

S: 8 baby carrots, 3 tbs hummus

12 oz water

L: left over chicken pot pie with sweet potatoes, ¾ cup grapes

35 oz water

S: ½ cup cottage cheese

D: 1 cup spicy black bean soup, 2tbs nutritional yeast, leafy green salad with tomatoes, 5 green olives, good seasons oil and vin dressing

23 oz seltzer water

S: banana (may or may not have. Stats above include it)

No workout for me today. From work I run to the shrink, from the shrink I run home, gulp dinner, kiss children and hubby and run back out to a committee meeting. When I get home (9:30 ish), I will be going to bed. I’m fighting off something – my throat is very sore – so I want to be sure I get rest tonight.

Sometimes I feel really pissed off that I can’t just have a little treat and let that be it. I wish I was one of those people who could have dessert one evening a week and call it good – just move on and not think about it. I just wish I was normal.

But, I’m not. I’m not normal. I have “just one” of something and I’m off the deep end. “Just one” one evening makes it “just one” the next day too, which leads to a little of this and a little of that. Before I know it I’m saying “Well, I really screwed this up today, so I’ll just re-start tomorrow” and I eat whatever is in my path. But it usually doesn’t end there. The next day can be involved. Hell, it can be weeks before I get back on track, and I have to re-lose all the weight I already lost. Talk about a yo-yo!

I know a lot of you out there reading this understand – but my question is – does anyone ever really change? Is there anyone who has been this kind of food/sugar addict ever really been able to call themselves “normal” around their drug of choice?

Well, I think I just answered my own question. Can anyone ever be normal around their drug of choice?

No. And if they say yes, they are likely lying and caught up in their own deceit.

*Sigh*

Anyway, I’m very happy right now eating “challenge style”. Yes, I still miss my cheese. LOL. But clean eating makes me feel exceptional. I feel lighter, I feel smaller inside my clothes. I feel more confident and comfortable.

I’m not back down to my lowest yet, but I will be very soon. My goal weight for my surgery date(March 6) is 175.

175 – 20 lbs of skin = a normal size/BMI person. WTF????

It’s all I want – and I am going to make it happen. NO. MATTER. WHAT.