But ONLY if you are an attractive, slim woman.
I experienced something this morning, and I immediately realized it was discrimination. Unless I am totally paranoid.
I was walking into the building I work in behind 2 very pretty, slim, well dressed ladies and 2 guys in scrubs. The guys bolted in front of the ladies (they were not all walking together) to open the door for them. The ladies walked through, and just as I was approaching the door, both guys walked through and allowed them to close - practically in my face. The inner door was the same story, except at the last second, one guy sorta/kinda held the door as he was walking through till I could grab it…
Wow.
Now, when I was 365 lbs, this kind of thing happened to me all the time. Frankly, I was so used to it, I hardly noticed after a while. I was not treated with respect or dignity that should be granted to every human being regardless of size. And I was used to it. I expected it.
How sad.
This morning, I remembered that even after 160 some-odd-pound loss, people still see me as a fatty. After all, accordning to the numbers, I am still obese. Not even overweight yet - still obese.
This is discouraging. I look at myself and I think I look ok. I mean, not great, of course. With about 50 lbs still to lose in total, I can't look that good. But damn, I don't think I'm so ugly as to merit being totally ignored in what should be a common courtesy for all.
I know, I am making too much of this.
But, it's tough when this starts your day.
A little about an experiment today. I am attempting to eat a little more at each meal (not to the point of being over full - listening carefully to my body) and attempting to not eat snacks in between. This is only an experiment. If I get very hungry and it's not near lunch time yet, I do have snacks I can eat. We are just going to see.
So, as an example: normally or breakfast I would have 2 morningstar veggie sausage patties. This morning, I had 2 oz chicken breast meatballs, 1/4 cup reduced fat cheese, on a multigrain and flaxseed tortilla wrap. (Mustard and hot sauce on it - yum!) So, a but heavier, and more caloric.
We will see if this effects my hunger.
I am doing this, knowing full well that I have to really, truly listen to my body. I cannot allow myself to get too hungry, or it could set me up for a binge.
I will report back later.
I'm sure I'll be back with some pearls of wisdom later.
Some people are jerks, no matter what we weigh. :[
ReplyDeleteVery, very true, Mary...
DeleteSome are.. I'd hold the door for you..
ReplyDelete;-) oh, you sweetie!!
DeleteSeriously - just pisses me off. No doubt you are hotter than either of them were. UGH
ReplyDeleteI hold the door for fat, thin, young, old, male female, and especially those who look like they NEED help (elderly, sickly, wheelchairs, people carrying heavy stuff). It's called courtesy.
ReplyDeleteI do notice that I'm treated a bit better in these courtesy things at this weight (hardly slim and hardly young and hardly a hottie, but still, not big as a barn me). I get flirted with more. I get "Whoa, baby!" and "Hey, Mama!"
when I walk. and honks. And just generally am treated more attentively.
I think my very cheerful and courteous public persona always had me treated better than some 300 pound gals would ahve been. I got some dissing, but not as much as many that I've read about. I even got some special treatment at morbidly obese (extra goodies from a chef who took a liking to me and flirted, etc). Some guys like fatties. :D But yes, there is a difference. As Gwyneth Paltrow and otehrs who have put on fat suits learned. Fat makes you "invisible" to many, especially men...
Sad, sad, sad.
Maybe we should wear Ren Garb corsets out in public. That makes us bigger gals look hot and uber-boobylicious! :)