The big break

Struggling through these few days
Who am I kidding. I'm just plain struggling.
With eating, especially.
I am diving headfirst into the temporary comfort the food can bring.
I am choosing to ignore the consequences.
I simply can't do anymore... anymore scheduling, running, making, finding, worrying, stressing, crying, screaming...
remembering.
wishing.
wondering.
caring.
doing.
Something was going to break, and it ended up being my food.
I'm still exercising, and using it as a form of stress relief.
But my emotional eating has gotten a hold of me.
I will keep trying to get out of the grip.
But I am telling it like it is right now.

A while ago I talked about how things were going to change, and it was exciting and I couldn't wait. I didn't want to say too much about it, because it wasn't a sure thing. Well, a few months ago, the hubs and I decided we wanted to move to Seattle to be near my brother and his family, and to start over in a more health conscious area, with great youth programs.

We met with a real estate agent, who sadly told us that our codo could sell... for about $30,000 less than we owed on it. Obviously, not happening. So, we began to do some DIY cosmetic stuff. Well, it's not going to matter. The market will probably take years to recover.

In other words, my dream of moving has been completely dashed. We aren't going anywhere. We can't even move locally, never mind out of state!

It's been a big dissapointment to me. I haven't talked with my brother, because I feel like I have to tell him it's never going to happen, and I don't want to tell him that.

Well... anyway... I'm sure things will start to look up when the stress of these last few weeks of school is over... right?
Right?
Please, let that be right...
Feeling broken - I'm out.