Loss and Expectations

I knew this would be a busy, hectic day.

I knew this would be a difficult day.

2 years ago today we got the call that my cousin, this sweet, loving, amazing, young man was gone.
I could recount every detail of that night. How I was correcting tests when the phone rang. How I was pregnant with my Thing 2. How I felt like my legs gave out underneith me when my mother choked out the words. How the first thing  thought was that it must have been a car accident. How my Mima sat on the couch at my aunt's house and truly did not understand what could have happened. How I just kept thinking there was NO WAY this wasy true. NO WAY he could have done this to himself.

I went so far as to say maybe it really WAS a mistake - did they find someone else hanging in my cousins closet? Maybe it wasn't really him. I spent DAYS thinking this.

But it was him.

I knew today would be difficult.

I expected it.

What I did NOT expect was to get a call that my 13 year old nephew, who has been the subject of bullying in school, attempted suicide this morning.

What can I even say about this?

He is ok. He stopped himself. He is getting help.

All I can say is pray for him. Pray for his mother and father, who could have lost their only baby boy today. Pray for your families and children. Hold those children extra tight tonight and tell them you love them more than anything else in this world. I know that's what I will be doing.