Bruit, or NOT going down without a FIGHT

Tuesday began normally, but after I got to work, I started experiencing some back pain in my upper/mid back - think shoulder blades and down a little. Totally inexplicable. I hadn't even worked out on Monday, so pain made no sense.

Went through the day taking Tylenol and the pain getting a bit worse. Using the heating pad Tuesday night and not sleeping AT ALL Tuesday night.

Wednesday it wasn't any better. Because I couldn't figure out WHY it was hurting, I gave my doc a call who said she wanted to see me.

Flash forward to the appointment yesterday. My extremely thorough doctor asked lots of questions and proceeded to check me out. After listening to my heart for EVER, and taking blood pressure in both arms (112/64 was the first one she told me) at least 3x each, tells me she is worried. She hears an Aortic Bruit which is really just a term for a sound that really shouldn't be there. She actually hears two of them. She tells me that she is worried. She contemplates sending me to the ED. At this point, I am feeling desperate just to get home.

She says it could be aortic dissection - very, very bad. She senses a slight change in blood pressure between each arm, which is another sign, but it is a very small change. This bruit, coupled with sudden onset of back pain is what makes her think there is something seriously wrong happening.

She finally agrees to let me go home, with my promise that if anything changed (she sent me off with a list of things to watch for) I would call 911. Today was the first set of tests, which were just blood work and a chest x-ray. It SEEMED as though the chest x-ray was good - because after looking at it for a few minutes, asking me if I was following up with my doc, they sent me on my way.
 
Tomorrow morning, I will have Doppler ultrasounds of both places she heard the bruits. At this point, I have talked with my doc some more, and she is feeling less worried, which makes me a little less worried too. She said it could be that I have a tortuous aorta - which really just means the aorta curves where it should go straight. If that is the case, we would just have to keep a special eye on my blood pressure to make sure it doesn't start going up - which can be a sign that it's SO curved, it's getting blocked up.

What does all this have to do with weight loss? Well, on the surface, nothing I guess. It's not caused by my weight, or my previous weight. But down a little deeper, it has everything to do with what I really want in my life.

I want to live.

I looked at my precious, gorgeous little boys faces last night, not knowing what was going to happen, or what I was facing, and I started feeling so desperate.

"Please Lord, Please, don't take me away from my boys. Please".

Something like this is unforeseen and can't really be prevented. So, why, when you are suffering from a disease that will kill you (obesity), just as an aortic dissection will kill you:

WHY DO YOU DO NOTHING?

WHY do you sit around and THINK about fixing it.

PLAN to fix it.

AND THEN NOT FIX IT.

I have seen lots of people lately THINKING about change. PLANNING change. SORT-OF changing. I'm not calling anyone out, cause it's not my style. We all have our own battles, and I dig that. But some people out there are KILLING THEMSELVES and it doesn't have to be that way.

If your doctor told you you might have a condition that could KILL you - like a cardiac issue, or cancer. Would you PLAN to MAYBE get some treatment? Start Monday? Or maybe after the holiday?

Sounds pretty ridiculous, doesn't it?

YOU AND I HAVE THE POWER TO LIVE when faced with the killer disease of obesity.

YES I have lost 175 lbs. BUT I STILL HAVE MORE TO GO.

This cardiac issue may not be in my total control. And boy, does that PISS me off.

These 30 lbs ARE in my control. I am making that happen.

You bet your ASS I am going to do everything in my power to see those little faces as long as I possibly can.

I don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. I don't know what they will say. But I DO know, that no matter WHAT they say, I will NOT allow my OBESITY to shorten my life.

I am taking control of the things I can. Because I can't control everything.
 
But I won't go down without one HELL of a fight.