Monday, February 24, 2014

Weekly Goals, Weigh In

Happy Monday! (yes, I was using my sarcasm font there. I don't love Mondays. Who does?)

First and foremost - Weigh In on Saturday morning - down 2 lbs. Not bad, but not great considering one of them was from my gain from last week. Meh. Moving on.

I've started a weekly goal challenge over at my Facebook Page. Anyone who wants to have some accountability for goals they set for the week can post them, get feedback and support. I think it will catch on!

My goals for the week:
1. Salad with protein for lunch everyday:
    Generally this is tough because making a fresh salad everyday is a lot more time consuming simply using all my bulk cooked food from my weekly Sunday cook-a-thon. But, I'm determined to see this one through. Trying new combos of veggies, meats, add-ins, etc. Here is my salad for today:

Garden variety lettuce, broccoli slaw, red peppers, carrots, can of tuna, sunflower seeds, a few almonds, a few craisins, feta, green olives, peppers and good seasons dressing mixed with oil and vinegar. Very tasty, very filling!

2. Substitute a clean protein shake in for my afternoon snack. Today is AboutTime chocolate.

3. Up workouts to 4 times this week (Scheduled for M, W, S and S)

(4. Unofficial goal - because I'm trying to stick to 3 - at least 90 oz of water per day.)

I really like these goals because I feel they are going to move me quickly toward my weight loss goal.

Oh, another WIN for today - finally found a happy medium in regards to my coffee: I bought some pure stevia (not the kind in the grocery store mixed with maltodextrin - yuck) and just 1/16th - no, I did NOT mis-type that - 1/16th of a teaspoon sweetens my whole 16 cup of coffee.

How do I know it's 16th? Because it's half of my 1/8th teaspoon. No. Joke.

This weekends workouts were pretty awesome. Saturday was back squat for reps: (the TOD on the right)

WHEW~ it was tough by the last set!

I was very sore from the squats on Saturday when I went back for more last night. The workout was much more metabolic. Take a look:

Each mini "circuit" is done 2x through = 8 intervals per circuit
Same here: each mini "circuit" is done 2x through = 8 intervals per circuit

Intervals: 48seconds of work, 12 seconds of rest. 48 seconds of rest/transition after each full cycle of each circuit

It was KILLER!! 

WHEW! Exactly what I needed!


I just might! HA!

On Saturday night, hubby and I got to get a way for a little bit, and we headed for our favorite store to browse around in: Hobby Lobby. That, my friends, is when I became a leprachaun:

Have you ever forced yourself to eat things that are healthy, just because you thought you should? Maybe it tastes awful to you. Maybe it gives you bloating and gas, but, it's HEALTHY! You just GOTTA eat it!! What was it? How did you handle it?

Keep moving forward!

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Rough Day, Bad News

I'm going to try and post later, but I've gotten some bad news today and I might not be able to. It's nothing regarding me personally, but is something I am dealing with.

In the meantime, please check out Holly at "300 Pounds Down"

This is her blog for today, and I love everything she has to say. When losing a large amount of weight - the MENTAL game is SO key, and it's very hard to keep the balls in the air. Especially when you start to feel normal, and do the things you never thought you could. The fierce focus can be swayed. Holly states it very eloquently. 

Go take a look!

Off topic moment - because looking at these 2 babies makes me happy! We will be meeting them tomorrow!

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Am I "All In"? Are you?

I've been thinking about this post since yesterday. I'm still mulling it over, so I don't know exactly how it's going to go...

I've gotten some feedback over the last day about my plan of action lately. I've been told that moderation is bullshit. That I'm either all in or I'm all out. Here is a quote:

""Balance" is bullshit. You're either in or you're out.  One foot in the "I want to lose this weight for good and get fit and kick ass" world and one foot in the "I want to go to parties and eat whatever I want and bake brownies on rainy days" world doesn't work."

(First of all - I don't do parties, not eating "whatever" I want and I am not baking brownies on rainy days.  However, I know she was just trying to make a point.)

Of course, I started thinking.

I know that I got to be 365 lbs because I ate way too much, moved way too little, and had many, many excuses. When I finally started losing this weight for good, I promised myself that I wouldn't delude myself with excuses.  I became almost obsessed with evaluating every little decision I made to figure out if it was a legitimate situation, or if I was screwing around and making excuses.

Well, that can be really freaking exhausting.

So, I wondered... Is my "excuse" guard slipping?


Or is the idea of balance just really hard to grasp?

When I wrote about balance yesterday - the big picture, for me, is not feeling "insane" and "obsessed" while getting the last of this weight off.  It's understanding that I am human, and if one of my workouts goes astray because of a sick kid, it's not the end of me.

This is a mental thing for me. If I view it as an "all or nothing" thing - then when something doesn't work the way I planned, my brain wants to explode and I fall into the "just screw it all" mentality.


I think there are ALSO elements of a slipping "excuse" guard here. A *little* of this, a *little* of that. Yup. There is no good reason for it. Stress and anxiety are things I have to learn to deal with without looking for a chocolate fix.
Or... NOT

I guess that's another aspect of balance.

So, my friends e-mail helped me see where I was letting my guard down a little. But it also helped me really think on and solidify where I have to be - for myself.

Because at the end of the day - I'm the only one I have to answer too.

If you are reading here and you are interested, come join me on Facebook: Strong Mama K - Striving for 200

Keep Moving Forward!

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Finding the Balance

I thought a lot about balance last night as I conquered a workout called "Powerhouse Playground" which featured a lot of one-sided movements. Single-arm TRX rows, Single leg TRX squats, single arm surrenders - you get the picture.

As I was wobbling around, trying to keep my balance on the TRX single leg squats, I thought a lot about balance. I sucked in my core and that helped me a lot with the squats. If only it was so easy with all other aspects of a healthy lifestyle!

(As a side note, my absolute favorite part of the workout was when I was doing side pulls with weighted sleds, and my 39-week-pregnant trainer hoped on the sled because it "didn't look hard enough" Haha!!)
Not me. LOL

When it comes to my weight loss, I have options. 

>>> I could go hardcore. Cut my calories to nothing. Eat only chicken and broccoli. Workout everyday, tired or not, and lose weight pretty quickly.

And be pretty miserable.

>>> Or I can say "screw this. I don't need to lose these last 40lbs. I can just buy bigger pants!"

And be pretty miserable.

>>> Or, I can concentrate on making healthy choices. Keep my calories at a level that I won't be hungry and miserable. Keep my exercise level high, but listen to my body and rest when I need it. And slowly, very...very...slowly...drop the weight.

It's NOT glamorous. It's NOT "commercial". But it's BALANCE. 

still not me.

I think we all know the way to go here. 

But balance is HARD. Too much food, too little exercise means NO weight loss. Too much restriction means my ED brain goes berserk and I binge on all the food. 

And it is SUCH a fine line! I am constantly teetering back and forth on that line. I get frustrated with my slow progress and I think I'm "just being lazy". Then I restrict and I binge, bringing me back to square one, and my self-esteem plummeting.

So, what does staying in balance mean for me?

~ eating enough of all the good, diverse. whole foods my body needs
* Having treats, just not everyday
~ Exercising and pushing my physical limits
* Resting when I'm very tired and my body is having a hard time
~ Push myself outside of my comfort zone
* Breathe and remember I am only human

Keeping all of these things in mind is really freaking hard. Looks simple on paper. Really doing it takes a lot of work.

But as always, I have to keep moving forward!

What about you? How do you find your balance?

ETA: I TOTALLY forgot to snap pics of the sushi I had for dinner last night to include in my food pics from yesterday! Fail! I'm not used to thinking of it before I devour my meals. I'll keep trying, if you are interested!

Monday, February 17, 2014

Weigh in, tweaks, and a food-day in the life

I had a dream last night that I was back up to 315lbs. My mother was saying how worried she was about me because I had no energy and my muscles were weak.

Yea, no shit.

The worst part of the dream is that I felt physically heavy. Freaked me out.

I woke up this morning to a 1 lb gain.

I didn't have a great eating day on Saturday. Not "bad" stuff, per say, just too much. I wasn't good with my water on Sunday and I think the 2 combined for a little gain.

I'm not going to let it screw with me, but I also have to be vigilant.  

I recognize that this weight loss is going to take a while. I am coming to terms with the fact that it could take me even a year to complete. 

In attempts to create a sustainable lifestyle, slower with slightly higher calories is what I am working with.

This week I am going to keep my calories about the same, but decrease my carb intake. Just for fun, I am taking pictures of everything I consume today... here's what we have so far:
Breakfast: Zucchini Kale quiche. There is some nitrate-free bacon in there!
Clean Muffin with 2 tbs of natural PB. These are good, but I won't be making them again for a while since I am going to cut my carbs a little lower. I used Spelt flour on these, which worked quite well!
coffee coffee coffee... tried it with a little cream and cinnamon as suggested by a friend. I wasn't a fan. You can see my water in the back there.  

Lunch: Buffalo Chicken Chili. I almost forgot to snap a pic, so it's almost gone!

 So, this is most of my day. I have a serving of garlic chicken with quinoa for around 3:30. Then dinner will be a big salad with tuna. I'll snap pictures and post later or tomorrow.

Saturday was dead-lift day for reps. 60%, 65% and 70%. Here are some of the only clear pics. LOL. My camera is not good with action shots! And dead-lifting is rarely pretty:

I really do like lifting heavy stuff. This is #150, or 70% of my 220 max. I need to be focusing more on my metabolic conditioning to really shed some fat. I know I have mentioned it previously. I just haven't broken that news to my lifting coach yet... *sigh* I'm making the transition.

My next weigh-in is Saturday 2/22. Hoping to lose the lb it looks like I gained, and maybe another!

Wednesday, February 12, 2014


Last night I commented on a Facebook post by a page I follow. The article they posted was about what happens to your body after a "carb binge".

They pose it as a scenario - You normally don't eat "junk". You decide to have a slice of birthday cake at a friends party. You have a little ice cream on it. 

Then the article goes on to describe the bodily functions that occur when a person has ingested a VERY large amount of simple carbohydrates. 

I'm not going to go into the details. However, the article really bothered me. The title indicates a "binge"

Binge: (from Miriam-Websters Dictionary)
a :  a drunken revel :  spree
b :  an unrestrained and often excessive indulgence <a buying binge>
c :  an act of excessive or compulsive consumption (as of food) 
The scenario described in the article is NOT a binge. It's called LIFE. It HAPPENS. 
This article falls under the category of FEAR-MONGERING.  
And you know what?
I commented and said EXACTLY that.

I didn't even THINK about it. I just did it.

When I thought about it later, I got nervous. 

I don't like conflict. In order to avoid conflict, I don't post about volatile subjects on Facebook or anywhere else. When confronted, I usually get so nervous that I can't think of what to say. Even if I have all the facts at my fingertips - I freeze.

So, I avoid.
But last night, I jumped.
I was brave.
Reading this, it might not sound brave to you. But it was to me. I felt good after I realized I had stood up for my beliefs. 
You know what else was brave? Coming back here and announcing that I had gained weight. 
It took a LOT for me to put the WHOLE truth out here. It would have been SUPER easy to just allow the truth to remain elusive.
It also would have been easy to place blame elsewhere, instead of where it BELONGS - WITH ME! (Speaking of taking responsibility - that's a whole different post!)
Pre-RELENTLESS on Monday
I challenge you ALL to be brave. Whatever brave means to you. Going out of our comfort zones is being BRAVE. But THAT is where change happens!! 

So, how are you going out of your comfort zone? Maybe you feel like you don't have to. You are on a good path. You're eating right, exercising... but are you challenging yourself? Are you striving to do new things? Are you just hanging in the comfort zone?

I dare you to be BRAVE. You can even be like this guy:
What are you going to do to be BRAVE?


Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Just another manic Tuesday


Work sucks.

I know, I'm preaching to the choir.

Many of you out there are working a job (or jobs) you don't like.

Being a person of action, I really hate the feeling of being "stuck" or "trapped" in anything. I am taking strides to find work I love, but that involves school. I'm taking as many classes as I can handle at one time (2 per term) and I just keep trucking along.

But, it's taking a long time.

Alright, moving on!

Last night, I took down a workout called Relentless. It was strength based with an insane tabata-like metabolic finisher. I neglected to take a picture of the board. Fail. Sorry. But it was good. I was a Sweaty-Betty for sure!

Yesterday and today are serving as a reminder that I like to eat when I am board, or when I *think* I should eat.

"It's 2:00. I should have a snack"
Um, nope, I'm not hungry.
"but, but, 2:00. Food time. Eat"
Nope. Still not hungry.

You get the picture.

So, last night, I just got to the point where I went up to bed. I was NOT hungry. If I WAS hungry, I totally would have eaten something. But, I wasn't. I was just "munchy". So, I went upstairs to get away from the kitchen.


I already know that I am a stress eater. The past 2 days at work especially, have been very stressful. I want to reach for munchy food. But, I have held out so far. Went for a few walks around the building, quickly, just to release some energy. Each day will get a little easier.

I also noticed yesterday I ate a lot less than normal. I'm sure you guys know, there will be days you are ravenous, and days you could care less. It all evens out in the end, usually.I'm logging all my food just to be sure I have good macro balance.

So, to sum it up - I'm moving forward. That's all I can do, right??

I can't leave you without another update -- we didn't get those sweet kittens I showed you last week. WAHH! BUT, we continue to look for 2 furry pumpkins to add to our family. I will update you when I find out more!

And finally, I will leave you with my two little weird-os
Josh: Say What?

Sammy: MY balloon!


Monday, February 10, 2014

Strong Mama K - Striving for 200

Welcome to my new, improved, and FOCUSED blog!

As you can tell by the title ---- I have a new and awesome goal!

Let's go back. I want to explain.

You guys know I've had a regain.

I didn't really know the extent of it until the end of last week. 

I knew I needed to get a handle on things before everything went to shit.

I looked back this weekend and tried to really figure out what went wrong (uhh, BESIDES just eating too much, cause you know, THAT happened)

I know that a bulk of this weight gain happened when I shifted focus to lifting heavy. Lifting heavy = eating more. Eating more = lifting heavier. 

Enter the cycle!

Squatting my 90% - 135

I LOVE lifting heavy. I have really, REALLY loved seeing my strength grow. Buuut... my growing waist line is not making me happy. I was super happily eating to my hearts content, and the lbs were creeping on.

I really had to decide. I can watch my lifting weights go up faster, and struggle to keep my weight down. OR, I can get much more focused about my eating, watch my strength improve at a slightly lower rate and get my body fat down

Well, I guess you know what I have chosen!

So, I'll be updating on my workouts more frequently. I am adding more metabolic back into my training. I cannot train any more than 3 times per week because of scheduling and other priorities, so my diet has to be stellar.

My eating plan: If you have been reading me for a while, you know. I'm back to clean eating. Very, very little processed foods. But I am doing this in 2 stages.

Stage 1 - eliminate processed foods, including added sugars. Dairy will be kept to a minimum. Lots of veggies, lean protein (animal and vegetarian), fat, some fruit. 

Stage 2 - Continue above, and reduce carbohydrate intake to help lean out when I get a little closer to my goal. 

I will lose 45 lbs.

1lb at a time.

I won't be perfect, but I am focused. Taking one step at a time! 


Friday, February 7, 2014

Re-Vamp, Iron-clad, and adding to the family!

Hmmmm, Iron clad -- could be sexy. But, no, it's not.

Get your minds out of the gutter :-)

Ok guys. I need to lose 40 lbs. Yes. I do. I'm talking in lbs and not in sizes. I know, it seems like I am going backwards. Let me explain.

I was really feeling SOO good about how I was dealing with food. The "It's just food, man" mantra was great! Then... clothes started getting a little tight. No biggie, I thought. I'll log food, make a little deficit. Workout a little more.

"No biggie"

*Ahem*. I found that VERY hard to stick with. I want to just eat all the food with no regard to logging or creating a deficit. And frankly, my schedule will simply NOT allow for any more than 3 times per week to workout.

And the clothes get a little tighter, and I am officially unhappy.

So, what's a girl to do?

She gets on the scale.

Heaves a sigh. And moves on with a different plan. A re-vamp.

The really good thing is that I am still primarily eating really clean, healthy, unprocessed food. So, continuing to do that will be no problem.

The "extras" however, need to just go.

I have been putting creamer in my coffee. It's the Natural Bliss one (so, no added shit in there), but it's still cream and sugar. It's the only way I can drink coffee, so I think coffee will have to go (ugh)

Chocolates here and there, in a really absent-minded way. That's not "eating the food" mindfully. Quite the opposite, obviously.

I am putting together a plan. I need some substitutes (tea for coffee in the AM, maybe some green-tea sipping broth in the afternoon in place of the afternoon coffee... As you can see, the coffee is a problem)

Have you ever tried this? It's very yummy, great when you need something nice and hot!
The chocolates - I just need to make a decision that I will not have any, and it will be an iron clad decision. When I say "a few" or "some" are OK, I'm leaving the door open for it to become absent-minded. When I am more structured and I say "No" chocolates unless it is a planned treat, then there is no hemming and hawing. It just *is*.

Planned treats - I am certainly not back on the course that says perfection is the only way to a goal. I think I have pretty thoroughly established that I am NOT perfect, so, why fight it? I will keep a treat-meal per week, with no worries and no guilt.

So, it's not really about "bad" or "good" foods. It's choosing to eat the foods in the amounts that are going to get me moving toward my ultimate goal - losing a total of 200 lbs.

That's where I really, really want to be.

I'm going to make a time-line, KNOWING that it needs to be flexible. Because LIFE, people! LIFE happens! I'm not going to make myself miserable if LIFE happens and I am not making this goal on my time line. But MAKING the time line makes me feel like I am really in charge of this process.


I think that will be my first mantra.

A little off topic, BUT........

Check out these two little lovies. Going to (HOPEFULLY) get them tomorrow to add to our family!!
Berklee and Posey!