Thursday, May 29, 2014

YIKES!! What a cluster!

First, Go read THIS

Go ahead, I'll wait.

Then, let us all let out a collective: Holy Shit.

I mean, I think we all knew that things were bad. I personally didn't know it was 30% of the world's population kind of bad.

I was talking with my hubby about it, and he had the following to say. I think they are truly valid points:

Has anyone done research as to why this is so huge in the US? Could it be:

1-      Amount of processed foods consumed

2-      Price of processed foods so much lower than whole foods making budgets stretch farther

3-      Amount of GMO’s in our food

4-      Amount of Growth Hormones used in our food

5-      Decrease in industrial jobs from being shipped overseas resulting in high unemployment rate

6-      Increase in demands set on workers in desk jobs to work longer hours with less breaks and time off

7-      Technology taking over manual tasks that no longer need to be performed by humans

8-      Accessibility to computers/video games/TV/etc so ingrained that people no longer go out and do stuff – they sit with their noses in screens

It’s a lot larger issue than people eating too many calories and not exercising. That to me is just the easy excuse to use because if we as a society were to really start looking at what all these great strides that were made in the past 20-30 years to make mankind’s life easier has done, or what the quest for the mighty dollar has lured businesses and government to do, it is not as simple a solution as telling people what to eat and to exercise. I’m not saying diet and exercise isn’t part of the equation, but I feel it’s a much smaller part of the big picture than what the people funding the studies/government are willing to admit or let it on to be.

I think there is so much YES to all of the above. Eating right and exercising are very important, but it's not always about "lack of will-power" for those having trouble with that. The above gives perfect ideas as to other reasons, besides someones personal character (because let's face it - when someone tells you to "just use will power" they are making a character judgement that you are lazy. Lazy/unmotivated = societal wretch)

The increase in obesity in other countries can be pointed to the increase in westernization that is filtering across the world. Processed foods and electronics abounding. What a cluster.

There is another aspect of this announcement of the obesity percentage is something quite opposite. The only reason I can even write about it is because I thought it myself. 

As a not-as-fat-but-still-fat person, I read the article and at one point, this ran through my head:

"Well, if so many people are fat now, it won't be so bad if I am still fat."

This, of course, comes from the disordered mind of a food addict, and is in direct correlation to my upbringing. While growing up, I didn't want to lose weight to be healthy - I wanted it to fit in. I wanted it so I wouldn't be bullied. I wanted to be "normal".

Now, it appears that fitting in is not so much of an issue.

Luckily for me, my reasons for getting (and staying) fit have changed and expanded. But there is obviously a little part of me in there that cares about being smaller in order to fit the societal norm.   

Let me also say (because I know some of you might be thinking it) that I KNOW there is still stigma against overweight people. I know it because I still experience it. This aspect was merely brought up to expose the absurdity of my brain. 

Yup, I'm a nut job.
Post upper-body/core workout on Tuesday

BUT, I'm a nut job who is still working, to get to my goals of being fit, strong and always striving for 200# down.

Keep moving forward..............

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Weekend Wrap-up

It was a lovely, long weekend. Thank you to all of the service men and women for all that you do for our freedom! My father, step father, grandfathers all served in the military. I am incredibly humbled by the people who chose to sacrifice so much for us.

This weekend was a lot about hair. 

My new re-do. Love it!

Thing1 and Thing 2 also got cuts. They went a little something like this:

Yup. They got Mohawks. It's a long story, but hey, it's only hair. And they love it!

Confession: so do I. If I could get one, I would. Something tells me my boss wouldn't appreciate it. 


And Mohawks weren't enough, they needed tattoos, too. So Dada gave them some.

Then we played with guns (the water kind):
It was hot yesterday
Yup. If you had told me 7 years ago I would have 2 boys that would simultaneously have Mohawks, tattoos and guns, I would have laughed. Or cried. Whatever.

My knee is still being a bitch. Pain on the medial side of the right knee. So, I made up a workout to minimize use of my knee, and maximize sweat:

No-knees workout

Round 1 4:00 minutes

50 band upper cuts
40 second plank

Round 2 4:00

20 ground zero jumps --
10 stone DL ------------- I tried this round and after the first set, my knee was screaming. So, I skipped it and kept moving. I subbed in some planks and more upper cuts

about 65 lbs

terrible pic courtesy of my Thing 1

Round 3 4:00

20 band press
40 second side plank
40 second side plank

Round 4 4:00

20 band rows
20 pull-throughs

Round 5 4:00

10 front and side raise with band
5 push-ups

Not bad for 20 minutes.

Yeah, my neighbors think I am certifiable. I see them peaking. Ha!

My kids get in there with me. I love it! Thing 1 starts doing burpees and wants to practice to be American Ninja Warrior. Sweet. He was setting up obstacles to do (jumping over buckets, rolling, headstands, etc). It was awesome.

About that pic of me with the rock. It's horrible. I mean, really awful. Hair is a mess, I look huge. But, I am posting it because it's me. The real me, holding 65 lbs worth of rock. No, I don't look like I want to, but I've come a long way. 

Keep moving forward, guys...

Friday, May 23, 2014


SO. Much. This.

B+ in math. I'll take it.

"I love you mama and dada you are the best parents in the world and the luckiest ever"

 Kid, you have no idea how lucky I am to have you.

#letmetakeaselfie #Ireallyneedahaircut 

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Different ways to be accountable

Is it just me, or is Tuesday the hardest day of the week? Ugh! LOL

I know I'm not updating here as much, but I'm alive and well on Facebook,  Instagram and Twitter!

I have a lot of things swimming around in my head and I have jotted some down, in parts, on paper. But nothing is really ready to be shared. So, instead I'll give you the basic update:

I don't know what I weigh right now. After a semi-breakdown, I have stayed off the scale for a bit. My eating is good. I've been posting pics of meals on my Facebook page and Instagram, and I have been logging so I can watch myself. I don't know when I will weigh in again. 

Some food picks: Yummy stuff!
Best burger EVER!

Simple, crunchy salad

Workouts have been awesome! Here is one I did last night at home, outside with the family. Thing 1 LOVES to workout with me!

20 step ups
5 push-ups
100 jump rope
40 band punches
50 power jacks
20 band rows
20 mountain climbers
15 band squat and press
5 push-ups
10 band resisted side up downs (each)
100 jump rope
10 band pull aparts
25 speed skaters
40 band upper cuts
30 skis
20 plank jacks
20 band pull throughs
45 second plank
45 second side plank
45 second side plank
45 second reverse plank

Thing 1 would read the exercise, and then ask me how many he should do. I told him the number I was doing, and let him know if he wanted to do less, it was OK (He's 7, guys!). A few times (like, with jump-rope) he opted to do less, or do something different. I just kept telling him "As long as you are moving your body and having fun, that's all that matters!" He said "Mama, this is SO fun!" WIN!
Family Planking!
I got a new, higher resistance band for the rows and squat -and-press:
Thing 2 laying on the grass in the background "I'm tired, mama!" Ha!
It was a gorgeous night and PERFECT to be outside. We came in after the workout just as a sunshower started, which gave us THIS amazing gift:

Gorgeous Double Rainbow!

Besides that, things have been calming down since finals ended. Just waiting to get my final grades for the semester. We shall see!

How are you guys doing out there? 

Keep moving forward!


Thursday, May 15, 2014

Somehow I made it through the storm

I did not use food of any sort to comfort myself in the midst of my studying panic last night. 

I did not use food this morning in my anxiety of going into my final. 

And I did not use food this morning after I basically BOMBED said final. 

Yes. Bombed. 

I don't even care anymore. It's over. It will probably bring down my grade to a B. It's fine. 

(repeats to herself: it's FINE to get a B. It's FINE, DAMMIT)

OK. Moving on.

I did end up about 150 cals over my goal yesterday, but I'm not upset. I mean, that includes 300 calories worth of peanuts (not a binge, a "snack bag" worth! Better than cake! HA!) that I wasn't planning on, plus no exercise except a quick walk on lunch (which I don't count)

Food is on course for today. I made great little meatballs for dinner last night and made plenty of leftovers for today. Add some steamed veggies and call it lunch!

Something I don't think I mentioned yet. You might remember that I said I was auditioning for a role I really love. Well, I GOT IT! I'm very excited/nervous. It's going to be a fun summer!

That's all for now, guys. I am plum tuckered out from all the stressing and allergies plaguing me. 

Keep moving forward..

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

M.F.A. - Having a Day

I'm having a bit of a day, today, strivers. My math final is tomorrow, and my allergies are so bad I just want to put my head down and sleep. I don't think my allergies have EVER been this bad. My head feels like it weighs a ton, I'm itchy, sneezy, runny... my face is breaking out and itchy.

And yes, this is the week I decided it was a GREAT fucking idea to forgo all sugar.

Now I am chopping at the bit (no pun intended)to drown out the anxiety and stress with a bunch of treats. I know this feeling, guys. The feeling when you are right on the edge of saying "screw it". I know this edge so, so well.

Anger, frustration and melancholy abound. It sucks to have so any negative emotions tied to your food.

I added some peanuts to my plan today, because there is fucking cake and pastries all over the office for my bosses birthday. While everyone is standing around eating the fucking cake, I am noshing on peanuts, because I am starving today (on top of it all) and wondering if that 300 calorie bag of nuts is going to screw me, and thinking that 300 cals of cake would be much yummier.

But I ate the damn nuts instead.

I reached out to the hubby about my struggle. He's very supportive. But, at one point he says "But, if you have a piece, just have it with no guilt and move on. Tomorrow is another day"

That is all an addict needs to start the wheels turning.

"I could just "re-start" tomorrow. I'm so stressed. I can eat some treats tonight while I am studying to help keep me calm. Then, tomorrow, I will get back on track."

The edge, folk. There it is

I am crawling away from the edge. I'm doing the best I possibly can right now. 

Today, breakfast was big, because I woke up starving! 
coffee, quiche, banana, 1 tb PB

It could be because MAYHEM last night was UN-real! I'm very sore today - in the good way, of course.
Me, post Mayhem. Wow.
Lunch today. I totally get that this does not look attractive, but it tasted great. The end of the Mexican spiced chicken and a bag of steamed green beans. 
It really is good. I promise.
Snack was the same as yesterday. Cottage cheese and blueberries. You don't need to see a pic.

Dinner tonight. I think it's going to be pasta night for the family, so I will make some meatballs and sauce for me. Parm cheese. Salad on the side. Then I plan on studying in my room. Away from the kitchen.

Muther Fucking Addiction. 

Keep moving forward.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014


Workout yesterday: 

Just Do It: No Rest in between!
20 step ups
40 second incline plank
50 jump rope
40 band punches
45 fast jacks
40 second reverse plank
20 mountain climbers
15 band squat and press

10 band resisted side up downs (each)
100 jump rope
10 band pull aparts
25 speed skaters
40 band upper cuts
30 skiis
20 plank jacks
20 band rows

Running around the house x3 with Thing 1!

Band squat and press

Thing 1 joins in!

elevated plank

Band rows
Eats for today:
Breakfast: coffee and quiche

Lunch: spicy chicken and veggies with

strawberries :-)

Cottage cheese with blueberries for snack

Thing 2 being cute

Looking forward to THIS at 5:00!

 Keep moving forward!

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Beautiful Family Evening

I have to share about my incredible family evening from yesterday. 

Since Thing 2 (my youngest - will be 4 in August) has been learning to use his words and behave himself, family time together is slowly becoming time of joy and excitement, rather than me feeling like all I do is yell and say "NO". 

I'm so blessed. Seriously. I know I'm not going to get this time back with them. All the more reason I am SO glad there is NO school this summer!

We started putting themes together for each day. Monday is usually park night, but Thing 1 decided he wanted to go for a hike. So, it was dinner on the front grass, picnic style, and then off on our adventure!
Thing 2, Leading the way. I know he is going to be a leader all his life. He's so independent already!

His joy in taking our nature walk was infectious and indescribable.
Thing 2 kept squealing "I LOVE hunting!" HA! We don't hunt. We were hiking. He kept saying hunting, and I just kept laughing!

Hubby making this time a teaching time. Telling the boys all about the different birds, animals, etc. He would live in the woods if he could! The boys were fascinated! 
Especially this one!
My Thing 1. Already 7. How much longer will he want to snuggle me and give me hugs and kisses? Probably not much longer. You bet your ass I am going to take advantage!
The boys were happy, active and awesome all night. Even after we were back home, the mood was light and sweet. I felt a sigh of relief. 

I have a final on Thursday and one NEXT Thursday. So close to the end - I'm hanging on by a thread!
Getting my workouts in, eating well, but I have been sucking at logging everything and at drinking my water. Working on the water as we speak.

Keep moving forward...

Friday, May 2, 2014

Random-O Friday Post!!

Ooooohhhhh!!! I'm here!!! LOL

The end of the semester is a KILLER. Even when I try to get a little ahead on school work to prepare for "the end" I still feel bombarded. 

Good news: Classes end next Thursday.
Bad news: I still have tons of homework and 2 finals to accomplish before that!

BUT - one step at a time. I'll get through it, and I cannot WAIT till I have summer off of class! I don't think I have taken a summer off of classes since I started back to school.

Let's see - updates - 
I've been doing more home/gym workouts. Mostly a funds issue - dwindling down to my last few Tuff Girl workouts and then I guess I'll have to take a break from there until I have some money. I don't see this happening soon. You know how I feel about that, so I'm not going to go into it.

However, using my fearless-fitness Leader, Christa ( for inspiration, I am trying my damnedest to keep the workout intensity high.

Here is an example of what I did on Wednesday night after the bobbins were in bed. I dragged the hubby through too. He insists I am trying to kill him:
4 minute rounds. You continue to oscillate between exercises until 4 min is up.

Well - it WAS tough. But, WTF, it's SUPPOSED to be tough!!

I'm trying out this new protein:

Taste is good. There is not one SHRED of junk in here. My only issue has been the texture - a little gritty. So, I'm going to experiment this weekend by making it my actual breakfast (instead of plain as a supplement) and adding some other things to it (1/2 banana, maybe some plain yogurt, etc). After my experiments, I will report back!

Some other fun things:
miserable 3 yr old wanting his Dada and NOT his Mama!

85 on my math test! Worked really hard and did not think I had done this well! 
I was reading a very popular (not sure why, anymore) blog. This is someone who pretty famously lost weight and now has re-gained about 1/2 of what she initially lost. This particular post basically talked about how all the weight-loss bloggers regain their weight. She says it's practically impossible to keep it off. 

She is digging her own grave.

As soon as she makes it "OK" in her head that she has re-gained 50 some-odd because other bloggers have re-gained - she's doomed. I anticipate the weight will continue to creep on her and she will continue to try crazy diets and make lots of excuses.

I have owned my re-gain. Yes, I have put some weight back on. No, I don't like it - nor do I accept it. I don't care who else re-gains. I WILL NOT BE that person who just accepts it.

I am not doing my best for my weight loss right now. But I am doing my best for my life right now. I will never blame my re-gain on anyone but myself. But I do have one thing to say.

I AM continuing to keep off over 150 lbs. 

No, I am not in maintenance, but I refuse to re-gain ANY more weight than I already have. But I feel comfortable being confident in that fact, because there are no excuses or blame passing going on over here. 

OK, off my soap box.

Random section of this post:

- I have an audition tomorrow for a part I really want in a summer musical. Wish me luck!

- I am listening to Tori Amos "From the Choirgirl Hotel". Bringing me back to my college days!

- I had a job interview on Wednesday. It sounds boring as shit. I think I'm not into it.

-Hubby and I are planning our summer to make each day of the week a certain theme. "Adventure" Sunday (hike or walk day), "Story-time" Saturday (Library visit), etc. I love the idea and I think the kids will dig it.