recovery...

Day 2 of detoxing after my horrific weekend. My tummy has recovered, and I am eating well - very clean. Lots of water. Only super whole, healthy grains, veggies, lean meats. I made an awesome white bean and chicken chili. Totally clean. Full of veggies, ground chicken breast, cannellini beans... really great.

No candy, although it's EVERYWHERE. No sugar. I find myself thinking "just one "fun size" is no big deal"... oh, the lies I tell myself. No I will not be having "just one".

How quickly I forget what pain I was in yesterday. How terrible I felt. Maybe it was a little tummy bug, but I prefer to think of it as a wake-up call.

My body: *MAYDAY, MAYDAY*

I restarted tracking my food. Yesterday, tracking was a moot point, because all I could stomach was some water, tea, and later some kashi cereal. Total? Probably around 300 cals. Today is much more like normal, and my levels (protein, carbs, fiber, fat, calories) are all where I like to see them. I have plenty of calories left over for a nice, high protein dinner with a salad, and I'll be good.

Took Thing 1 and Thing 2 trick-or-treating. Thing 1 did well. He was polite. Said "thank you" and "Happy Halloween" and didn't put up a fuss when we headed home. He filled his small bucket with treats. He can have one piece, after dinner, each night. He'll forget about it within a few days and we will toss the rest. Wasteful? Maybe. But better in the garbage than in my belly. Thing 2 just went along for the walk. They were both so ridiculously cute in their costumes!

I'm considering going back to OA. I have tried it before, and I liked it, but I couldn't get out of my addiction at that point. I was still "using" and I couldn't foresee ever giving it up. Obviously, there was a denial aspect going on at that time in my life. I feel I am in a better place, but now I am having difficulty finding meetings near me. I'm going to keep searching, though. Part of me thinks "oh yeah, ok, put ONE more thing on the schedule" and well... that voice is kinds right. If it's meant to be, it will be. I'll work on it.

Today is the first day of registration for next semester. I worked my butt off last week to get everything cleared up so I could register and get into the coveted bio class I need that is ALWAYS full. I jump on this morning - and low and behold. It's full. Crap. So, I e-mailed my advisor and asked if there was a class I could take in its place. I get an e-mail back... my advisor, the genius that she is, had RESERVED half the bio class for her students(AKA: ME!)! NICE! No wonder it looked full! So, I will have a place in that class next semester, no fighting needed. Sweet!

I have been really dreading starting the science classes for my degree, but I am really starting to feel a lot more confident that I can handle it. I didn't do really well in HS in science (yes, that's the last time I took a science class!) But that was a long time ago. I am so passionate about what I am doing; I will do what is needed to move forward!

Some random things:
~my mom is super sick. Like, in bed, can't move kind of sick. Very rare for her. Worried.
~We sold my Mimas house. It been on the market a little while now. She passed almost 11 months ago. It's really hard. There are so many sweet memories in that house. I miss her so much.

Ok, that's all for now. Ciao, Bella!