Monday, April 9, 2012


I felt the need to post again today. Maybe I don't feel like I made it clear in my last post how unbelievably grateful I am for so many things. The time I spent with my tribe this weekend, even through the stress and anxiety, lack of sleep, etc... it was something that can never be measured. It can never be fully described. The joy... beyond this world. I am grateful for that time more than I could ever put into words. There is so much I have. I am so very, very blessed. My husband, my boys, my family, my job, my church, my home... so, so very much. Yes, I am battling an eating disorder, and a food addiction. And it could be a HELL of a lot worse. That is not to say I am not going to fight it - because I am fighting for my life, but that IS to say that I know many people who are a lot worse off. I pray for them. I've been thinking a lot about my hubby. Or rather, I have been concerned about him. We attended a small prayer group at church. One of the women in the choir with us told us about her husband. She lost him at age 49. He went to work one day, had a massive heart attack - and it was all over. She had 4 young children. She kept saying "We had no idea. No idea" My husbands family is ripe with heart issues. His dad had his first (of 2) heart attacks when he was only 37. Hubby has been admitted for chest pain, only to find out it was stress related. He has been put on blood pressure meds - and when the RX was done, he never got it re-filled. Yes, I know what you are going to say. I say it as well... crazy bastard. He is overweight, and has a hard time staying on a healthy eating and exercise plan. I know how hard it is... and it's hard for me to push him too much. But I am super worried. I mean, the blood pressure thing alone - there is a reason they call high blood pressure the "Silent Killer". I don't know how to talk to him about this except to say that I am afraid of losing him. I have told him over and over. He is going to a new primary doctor tomorrow and I have been urging him repeatedly to tell the doctor everything, and NOT to resist if he wants to put him (back) on blood pressure meds. He is SO sure he can do it with lifestyle change - and I think he CAN, but he has NOT yet, and we cannot wait anymore. Well, I just needed to get that out. I'll update on this issue again. In the mean time, if anyone has any suggestions on how to get the love of my life doing what he is supposed to be doing - I am all ears!

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