Friday, September 27, 2013

T-1 Day, AKA "Oh Shit"

I had a very serious “I’m going to bale on this race Saturday” moment yesterday. It was right before going into my exam, and the feeling of being totally overwhelmed took over.

I had a fight or flight moment.

And I really, really wanted to choose FLIGHT.

Insert *DEEP BREATH* here.

So, I did what any other 21st century person would do.

I posted it on Facebook.

I knew posting it would illicit at least a *little* support, and that is all it would take. Because then people would KNOW that I was thinking about sleeping in on Saturday and pretending that I wasn’t supposed to be somewhere very, very different.

And yes, it worked.

I am still really terrified I’m not going to be able to do it. I am terrified of letting myself down. There is no one else to impress out there. Just me.

But, I’m still going to do it.

I’m trying to change my attitude about it a little bit. I have been approaching it as a “redemption” race of sorts. This is obviously inducing a lot of pressure. If I can start thinking of it as a gage – to see how far I have come in the last year – maybe, just maybe I can just go and have FUN.

FUN??? What?? These aren’t supposed to be fun!!!

Oh wait, it IS supposed to be fun.

Crap, I forgot about that

So, this is what it comes down to. I will run the Rugged Maniac tomorrow. It will be what it will be. I need to let go and give the whole thing up to God. The end.
Of course, you all will get a recap, (whether you want one or not…) but likely not till Monday.

Have a good weekend, people!

1 comment:

  1. You.Are.Fierce! I hope you do have fun, and I can't wait to hear your race report. You've got this! Big rope ladder thing, fire and all!!