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Tuesday, November 2, 2010

doubts

There is so much stress weighing down on me right now, and issues have arose that may effect my efforts to dive into school and work. I need to work full time in order to afford classes. I need care for my children while I work. I HAD care, and it's possible that is NOT the case now, which succeeds in turning my world upside down. I wish there was a way I could just go to school, and take a part time job, maybe Starbucks or something, so I can use that to pay for classes and still have the money from my private students to help with the household expenses. Daycare is absolutely exorbitant. $460 a week for both kids. That's just about what I will be making a week, so what's the point? There are programs out there to help with expenses such as these, but we make too much to get help, and make too little to be able to make it work. So, in essence, we are screwed. Or, should I say, I am screwed. Should I bother even trying to continue with this? I already left UNH - maybe I should have stayed and tried to make it work...My thoughts are so muddled right now, I don't know what to think or where to go or what to do. I can't believe I am in a situation where I figure out something I want to do so badly, and I can't figure out how to do it. It really sucks.

1 comment:

  1. Kell, I'm sorry you're having such difficulty. I can't believe it won't find a way to work itself out. It might not be as fast as you like, but I believe the solution will come. All I can say is, don't let the stress steal your joy. Nothing is more important than those boys; I know you know that: keep the faith!

    ~ Dawn :)

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