Well, my stint with being Vegan is now officially over, and the first thing I will say is I want NO part of it on a normal basis! LOL
One of the biggest difference I noticed was that I felt super hungry all the time. Consiquentially, I ate over my calories 2 of the 3 days. DAMN. Not horendously over, but over none the less. SUCK.
So, that 3 days got me a little off kilter, for sure. But, I packed my meatballs and a little cheese and I'm good to go for today.
I've been doing a lot of thinking about what my real, true goals are for my physical self. What do I want? What will make me really happy? Is it a normal BMI? Would that be "enough"? Is it a visible 6pack? Do I want the hard-body look? I think it's a beautiful thing to look at, but do I really want it for me? Would it be worth the work for me? I don't know the answers to these questions, honestly. I know I want to be a normal BMI. That has become my goal since my realization of hitting my initial goal of being 180 has come into view. I am so close to that, and I know I need to go further. How much further? What is the ultimate goal? I'm still not totally clear.
*sigh* workouts. How I miss you. I haven't worked out since Saturday. I feel like a slug. This has to get fixed, starting now.
I... am going to have to get up at 4:30 to workout.
Please, let us have a moment of silence for my sleep deprived, sad self... *sob*
It's been a really hard decision, but it just has to be done. If I am going to get any exercise in, it's going to have to be in the AM because once the day gets going, I am on the move till 9:30 at night, at least. I'm going to ask 30 minutes of myself Monday, Tuesday and Thursday mornings. Wednesday won't work, becasue I have to be in work even earlier than normal. Adding Monday, Tuesday and Thurday to my normal workouts Saturday and Sunday, and I'm golden.
I can't tell you how sad this makes me. I am REALLY bad at missing out on sleep.
I am going to make a consious effort to go to bed earlier. It's the only way it's going to work. And although tomorrow is Friday, and that will likely not be in my normal rotation, I am starting in the AM. Got to just get it started before I talk myself out of it.
Again: *sob*
Tonight: Math test and choir practice. Then I will pop in on Hubby - they will be in the final dress rehearsal for the show which opens tomorrow night. I can't wait till this insanity is over. I need my hubby back. I'll end up home around 10, make lunches (seriously, this is like, the bane of my existance) and start all over again tomorrow - except earlier.
Eats for today:
B: 2 breakfast cookies (really just oats and banana and protein powder baked into cookie shape, instead of the normal bar I bake. Sometimes, you just need to switch it up.
S: Josephs flax wrap, 2 tbs PB
L: 4 mini turkey meatballs and home made sauce - yes please! :-)
S: banana, 2 oz cabot 75% cheese
D: apple... yeah, I didn't plan that well, I guess...
Keep moving forward people
I had a really hard time with being vegan, too - I think that if you have a super obese past and aren't doing it for ethical reasons, it's very hard. I know personally, I need the fullness that I get from animal-based protein sources - yes, quinoa and some veggies and whatnot have protein, but not as much as meat. I know what works for me, and veganism just isn't it! It's good, though, once in a while, for a day to mix things up.
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