Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Day 2, part 2

Because I am using the blog as a food journal, and we all know that food, overeating, and over consumption of things like sugar and fat are tied to emotions, you can expect that there may be numerous posts on how I am feeling, especially in these first few days while I am cutting down on these things. Again.
Today has been hard. I have fought off many, many urges to run and buy the big-as-your-face cookies they have in the cafe here, and with the help of my husband, have been able to stay away. A funny thing is that the cookies aren't really even THAT good... it's just they were sugar, and fat, and I "needed" it.
Because of the lunch in the fridge debacle, I ate an unplanned lunch with the hubs. Steamed dumplings and some boneless spare ribs from one of the outside "carts" here at the hospital. Not the "best" choice - perhaps, but it could have been worse... and trust me, I had my eye on "worse".
But after lunch, I freaked out and told hubby I was going for a cookie, and that on my way home I was gonna stop and stockpile all the goodies. I couldn't do this no-sugar thing right now. It was too overwhelming.
Damn, what a drama queen, huh?
I think it was the lunch. Having something unplanned and really not "clean" was giving me a "go ahead"... "you've already "screwed up" you might as well go all the way!!" Said my black-or-white thinking. "Eater is this weekend, and after that, you won't be able to have any more crème eggs - might as well have them now!" - although I must admit, THAT excuse is still plaguing me...
The hubs talked me down. But I mean, come on - is it hard? Yes. Does it suck (especially the first few days?) Yes. Can I do it? YES. COME ON. I've been through a lot worse than cutting down on/cutting out sugar.
Anyway, it's rough right now, but I am fighting through. Kickboxing with hubby tonight. Which is good, since I feel like hitting something.

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