Kick me in the ASS

That's what I said!!!
Give me a good hard kick, 'cause I REALLY need it.
I've gotten into a really defeatist attitude, a down mood that I am unable to really lift. My food is really taking a beating, and my body is obviously following suit. I feel sluggish, tired, sickly, bloated...ok, the rest might be TMI, so I will refrain.
Tonight, my amazing hubby has not only given me his blessing, but encouraged me to go to a TUFF GIRL workout. I am REALLY excited to get back there - I haven't been in at LEAST a month, probably on the verge of 2 because of our hectic schedule. So, I'm excited, but also scared. I really feel like I am starting all over again. I'm going to go there and be unable to do the workout. I will wake up tomorrow and be in big pain. Pain I will undoubtedly deserve... will this be what I need? The kick I crave?
Why do I feel the need for some outside source to kick me in the ass? Because apparently, I have become unable to do it myself.
This past weekend I was scheduled for a 5K.
Didn't go.
I was signed up for the MS walk in my area.
Didn't go.
I've been eating more damn Cadbury crème eggs than I want to admit, or even think about.
I have not been consistently logging my food.
What will it take to get me back on track?
I want to feel good again! So, why don't I take the steps? It is, after all, MY responsibility - as it is all of our own responsibilities, to create our best selves. The selves we know, in the dark recesses of our minds, behind the fear and pessimism and doubt… we KNOW we can be.
Where is that person?? She is really hiding herself well lately.
Anyone seen her? If you do, send her back - maybe if SHE kicks me in the ass, it will work!