Death by Workout...changing... tangent...ugh...

2:00 PM on Monday and I feel like my brain is still back in bed.

Wish my body could go meet it there.

This weekend went well, but I noticed that I tend to get a little lax on my water over the weekend. I drink it during and after workout, but I need to make better effort at getting it all in throughout the day.

Besides the water issue, eating was great. Kick ass workout on Saturday (The name of it: Death by Workout. Yup. That pretty much summed it up!) and a run on Sunday. The run actually felt good. I added some hills to the run for good measure. If I can do it on hills, imagine how easy it will feel on just flat land!

Hey, a girl can dream!

I also taught lessons on Sunday. I'm starting to really miss that time now that I have gotten a taste of what it's like without it. Oh well. It is what it is, for now.

Feel funny today. A little dizzy, slightly lightheaded at times, and generally just out of it. As a testament to my out-of-it-ness, I remembered my bio book this morning, but then proceeded to forget my binder, notebook and chapter notes. Good job.

Ugh. I hate Mondays.

Ok, have to think positively. It's 2:00 - which means I am WAY past the halfway mark at work... so that's good. Class gets out at 6:40, which means I get to see Thing 1 before bed. Awesome. Tonight is a rest night for exercise, so once I get home, I can "relax". (I say "relax" because I usually can't - there is always housework to catch up on, especially laundry, and my bedroom, which seems to constantly look like a tornado has just blown through it, lunches and clothes to prepare for tomorrow... come on guys, most of you out there know what I mean!)Umm... let's see... what else... I don't feel sore from my workouts this weekend - a testament to getting stronger. So, yeah, lots of positive things to think about.

I think my brain is still in bed because I had such a hard time falling asleep last night. I kept worrying about terrible things happening to my boys. I have NO idea why. I had a terrible time getting these awful thoughts to leave. When I say terrible, I mean TERRIBLE. I have learned that I am sensitive to things I read or see on TV, especially relating to children, so I try to avoid them if I can. These terrible things are going on to children all around us. What if something happened to MY children? My boys? My reason for living? My sun, stars and sky? Sound dramatic? Then you don't have kids.

Ok, I know you must be thinking "this chick needs drugs". Well, I guess I can understand why you may think that. I do tend to get overwhelmed when it comes to my kids. I can't help it.

Wow, how did I get off on that tangent?? Hmm... let's refocus

Weight loss, exercise, healthy living....

Ok. Weigh in is Wednesday. I feel like I am doing really well with my daily intake, my exercise, and yet I get scared I'm not going to lose. Obviously I need to lose more weight, but mostly I am scared that if I don't lose, I will have to re-think what I am doing with my diet. AGAIN. I feel like I had a revelation. I had to go back to where I was. Low carbs, high protein. Never hungry. Energy. But if I'm not losing, something is wrong.

Crap. I REALLY REALLY don't want to have to revamp this AGAIN. Especially so early back in the weight loss game. It's different down the line, when you've lost a significant amount, and you need to look at what you are doing and tweak to continue losing. Fine. I just don't want to have to do that yet.

I'm realizing that this post is getting tangent-y and whiney. So, I will end it here. Love catching up with all of you from the weekend.

Decisions, decisions.

I wanted to post quickly and thank everyone for their honest opinions regarding my schedule. I really think you are ALL right. It's the answer I KNEW in my heart, but was afraid go admit. Why was I afraid? Because I used to be the queen of excuses. I "excused" my way up to 365 lbs. So, its hard for me to trust myself when it comes to removing workouts.

Next week I am still going to keep my Thursday workout. It's been specifically designed for the members doing the mud run. So, I really want to be there. After that, I will be going to Bodyology on Saturday mornings until May, with a few exceptions.

I think the comments that were left for me helped me so much. I will never get this time back with my boys. They are growing up so fast, and I don't want to miss it. Being here another evening per week will help me feel more balanced.

I knew had made the right decision earlier today, but I was REALLY sure when, this afternoon I saw my boys after work, and the older one wouldn't let go of me! He kept saying "I missed you mama, I love you mama". oh, it made me feel so good, and broke my heart all at once.

Food today was a little tough. I'm out of a lot of my go-to items and that can make cravings a little more prevalent. Picked a few things up at the store. I found myself practically convincing myself it would be ok to get junk food! I don't even really want it, but the IFG really wanted to rear her ugly head. Well, I beat the bitch back into submission, picked up fruits and veggies and came home to a big green salad and chicken burgers made by the hubby. He makes great burgers! Sans bun, of course!

Tomorrow morning is another awesome workout, and then a day with the family. I can't wait.
Thank you again for all of your support, blog-land. You all have been so awesome and I appreciate your help.

I'm off to get some much needed rest! Stay strong, soldier on!!

Need Help and HONEST Opinions, Please

Hello fellow bloggers -

I need some real advise here - especially from my hard working weight loss and fitness friends.

I have bitched about my schedule... I know, you know. Now, I'm really starting to wonder about it.

My only option for changing it is to cut my Bodyology workouts back to 1 per week until the semester is over, or time permits (like Spring Break week and other random days without class in the evening).

Let's go through the pros and cons, shall we?

Pros to cutting said workout:
-Seeing my kids
-not showing up for church choir a sweaty mess (I know this sounds silly, but it's stressing me out a little)
-Seeing my kids (oh yeah, hubby too!!)
-possible decrease weight loss
-I think hubby is starting to feel a little resentful of playing "Single Daddy"

Cons for cutting said workout:
-Wondering - is this an excuse, or valid?
-commited to 2 workouts per week to train for my mud run in September
-I can feel a difference when I have 2 workouts per week - stronger
-support from members and trainer
-possible increased weight loss

I wrote "Seeing my kids" twice because it counts for 2 of any other reason. It's the most important. I already miss them, and it's only the first week of class.

I can make up for the workout by going to the gym or working out at home, but it's never quite the same as going to a class.

I really don't know what to do. I am very torn. Please - what are your honest thoughts? I ask you guys because I have very few people I am friends with in the "real world" that understand what I am doing and why. I know you guys get it...

I'm all ears, uh, eyes. You know what I mean

I was just looking at my past few posts - lol, I guess my mantra is "keep moving forward"... I didn't even know it!

Class last night didn't go as late as I thought, so that was a pleasant surprise. However, when I got home, I found my husband in bed with a migraine and the kitchen was BEYOND a wreck. So, I spent the rest of the evening cleaning, and trying to unwind. Got to bed a little too late and felt pooped this morning. Parked in a lot close to work (lazy bones this morning!) but I don't feel too bad because tonight is my Tuff Girl workout. I know I will be burnin' tonight, baby!

Food today will be fine. I am running out of food staples at home, and with payday not till next week, well, I'm going to have to improvise. I don't like to improvise, especially when I am on such a great roll, but no money equals no more groceries. The kids have food, so that's all that matters.

Money is tight. That sucks. But I still need to do things like go to the gym and have my workouts at Bodyology. I need these things more than I need anything else - clothes, eating out (especially!), Starbucks... all of these things would add up to what I am spending on the fitness... As long as my kids are fed and clothed and are in school, well taken care of and learning, what else can I ask for?

To be a millionaire... but I digress.

Anyway, glad it's Thursday, almost Friday, almost the weekend. Teaching this weekend. I hate to say it, but now that I have had a taste of what "free" weekends feel like, I'm not as enthusiastic to teach. It's a terrible thing to say, and I love my students. Well. It is what it is, right?

That's all for now. I hope everyone is soldiering on. Be strong.

Weigh in and keep moving forward!

Ok, I'm a little late with this today, because work has been a bit crazy, but I'm here, I'm here!

Last night after class, the last thing I wanted to do was go to the gym. BUT, I did. I realized there is one right on the way home from that campus and it makes it impossible to make excuses very convenient. I did my run, and it didn't feel as bad as the previous, even though it was the same routine. Of course, that makes sense, because I am different everyday. I guess I expected it to be harder, since I was tired. But, I pulled it out. I was happy I went.

So, I was a little worried about weigh-in, for no good reason. I feel great about my eating, great about my activity. But, my suspicions were confirmed when I hit the scale this morning:

211.

Now, that is a 1 pound loss, but of course, we always want more. I will be content with it. I had a BIG loss last week (5lbs), so that could have something to do with it.

I will keep moving forward. I used to eat like a crazy-woman the day of weigh in, figuring I would "work it off" the rest of the week.

That was so long ago.

Today is no different than any other day in the past 3 weeks. Packed filling protein foods. Lots of water. That's it.

Tonight is my late class night. Technically, I should be in bio lab till 9:50, but my instructor did give a hint that we wouldn't go that late.

Praise God.

Ok, well, I have to be off to class. Thanks for letting me vent last night. Some really nice comments helped me see that I am doing the right thing, even though it feels totally insane right now. Thanks a bunch!

Kepp strong, keep moving forward!

O. M. G.

This is a tough day. I woke up this morning with a HUGE cold sore on my upper lip. It's painful, gross, embarrassing... ugh. Rush, rush, rush to work, stopping quickly to spend WAY too much money on Abreva for this stupid sore.

Work is CRAZY and I feel like I have too many balls in the air. I don't mind being busy AT ALL, my worry is that I am going to miss something. That is always a stressor in the back of my head.

Tonight is class on the North Campus, which I always struggle to get to on time. I can't WAIT till next semester, when all of my classes will be within walking distance of work - how sweet will THAT be??

After class, which ends at 8:10, I will go to the gym for my run. I am really not looking forward to it, but there is no other option. This is the only night I am out of class in time to go, but too late to rush home and see the kids - they will already be in bed. So, I'll end up there by about 8:30, and be done a little after 9:00. Go home, rinse, repeat.

Tomorrow night is class and lab till 9:50. Obviously, right home after that, rinse, repeat.

Thursday is Tuff Girl workout right after work, and then church choir. It didn't occur to me that I would be showing up to choir rehearsal sweaty and red-faced. Hm. We'll have to see how that goes over. Done there at 9:00. Home, rinse repeat.

Friday - work, and then home to fall over. It's my only night I don't have to be somewhere. I will actually get to see and play with my kids!! Go figure...

it's just one semester, just one... just one...

Ooooohhhh, but it's JUST starting! Agggghhhh....

I'm already feeling overwhelmed. Feeling like I want to eat, eat, eat. Actually, I don't think I want to eat, I just want comfort and ease, and I don't know how to get it. I usually get it from food. Sugar and chocolate, primarily. But I'm not *really* craving those things... just the comfort. I'm not even sure what would comfort me at this point. I'm feeling quite stressed and there is really nothing to be done about it.

Yet, saying nothing can be done leaves me in an "inactive" state. I would rather be pro-active. I'm the first one to make a plan, write it down, make a schedule!

Yet, I feel paralyzed by my situation.

The ironic thing is - I am doing all these things "for me"! I mean, I don't HAVE to be in school, in church choir, teaching, and working out like a mad woman! Well, I might have to change my idea on the working out part, but STILL. I'm doing this TO MYSELF, and yet, I am stressed beyond reason. So, what do I do? Admit I can't do it all? Drop school? Dropping school starts a barrage of other issues that cannot work (Student loans start coming in for payment.... cannot afford them right now!)And it doesn't get me any closer to my ultimate goal.

All this bitching is not getting me anywhere, I know. But if I can't vent here, where can I vent? I might implode!

What a weekend!

Wow, where to begin! This is a LONG post, just warning!

First, let's talk about the snow. Damn snow. Now, don't get me wrong, I've lived in the North East my whole life, except for a 2 year period where I was in Michigan. I mean, I know snow. Fine. Whatever. But THIS snow was CRAZY.

It started snowing around 5 AM. I got up around 6:00 and readied myself to get to my workout. I left the house at 7:15 for my 8:00 class. I slipped and slid the whole way. I ran into a guardrail on a bridge. Ok, really I *bumped* into the rail, because I was, thankfully, going so slowly. I made it to the workout right about 8:00. 45 minutes that normally takes me 20.

Whew.

Ok, the workout was AWESOME. About 1/2 the class showed, which made for a strong, dedicated and less chaotic class. It was really great. Worked my ass off.

Then the drive home... still really, really sucky.

Now, we move on to the surprise part of the day. My mothers birthday is this week, and it's a significant one (we don't need to mention numbers). My brother, who lives in Seattle, and I have had been planning for weeks. He was flying in from Seattle for the DAY. Coming in Saturday around 12 noon, and leaving the next morning. We planned a private lesson for us at a pottery studio (something mom has ALWAYS wanted to try), and then reservations at a very nice Italian Wine Bar (more on that later)...

Oh, but the damn snow...

By the time I got home from the workout, I was running around like crazy to get ready to make the normally 45 minute drive to the airport to get my Bro. Luckily, the flights were not effected by the snow (whew!). I was just about lo leave for the airport when I made a horrifying discovery.

I had left my purse at the workout studio.

O. M. G.

I was freaking out. Not only did it have all the cash in there for our day, but it was going to add at LEAST 40 minutes to my already VERY long drive.

All I could do was go.

I texted my trainer to be sure someone would be there and I was off. Slipping and sliding back to the studio, praying the car (which was on empty) would get me there and to the gas station.

The roads were really awful. I mean, terrible. But I had to keep plugging away.

Almost 2 hours later, I was at the airport. Picked up my brother. I was very optimistic that the pottery lesson was still going to happen, and my dear brother, he was very supportive of my up-beatness.

About half way back to my moms (she is still TOTALLY unaware of any of this, mind you) I came to terms that we were going to have to cancel our lesson. Tear.

But, we still had the biggest surprise, which was that my brother was here. And, the snow was beginning to taper off, and we knew dinner would still be a go.

We drove up to my moms and the look on her face was PRICE-LESS. It was awesome. She had NO idea. We helped her shovel out her driveway, and spent some time chatting before dinner.

Now, I have to confess, I was nervous about dinner. I had looked at the menu on line and saw there was some veggie dishes I could try. I KNEW I wanted to stay the course, and not stray from my plan.

We get there and we learn it's a tapas place - which means all the plates are a little larger than appetizers, and normally people will order a few different things and share. So, we chose different dishes, some things I had never tried before (black truffles, gorgonzola stuffed figs - yes, THAT kind of place!) and we had a wonderful time. I was very proud of how I ate. Still went VERY light on carbs. I didn't obsess, and when 2 of our party decided to get dessert, I did not have one bite. NOT. ONE.

I was very, very proud of myself.

The best part of the night was when my mom said "This is the best birthday I could have imagined".

Score.

So, she and I will have our pottery adventure in a few weeks. Something nice to look forward to.

I sucked it up and joined Planet Fitness yesterday (insert eye roll here). I didn't want to, but it's obvious with all the snow that I'm not going to be able to run outside all the time. I want to stay on my schedule, and they have really good hours (24 hours during the week!)I didn't want to spend any more money on this, but, it is what it is... Let's hope I can keep up with all the money going out the door for my fitness.

It's worth it, right?? Even if it drains my bank account to the last penny? Ugh.

So, it was a great weekend - I hardly even remember Sunday - it's a blur of gym going, and food shopping.

Classes start for me tonight. I'm nervous, no doubt. This semester, as I have said before, is going to be really crazy. But, it's just the semester... just a semester...just a semester... yeah, I just keep telling myself that.

Stay strong everyone! You can DO this!

Working it, and moving forward...

Ok, let us recap, and then plan for the weekend.
I ran last night-Day. 3 of my C25K. I was walking out to my running spot, and I was thinking over and over "i really don't want to do this tonight. It's cold, dark and I'm tired" even as I was saying it, I began to run. Just Freakin' Do It.
Day 3 consists of a 5 minute warm up, 8 sets of running for 1 minute and walking for 1.5 minutes, then 5 minute cool down. I decided I would try to push a little harder. I ran for 10 extra seconds each running stint, and then in the last run/walk section, I ran the whole thing heading into the cool down. I really felt good. I stretched out noticed right away that my legs were going to be super sore. And yes, they are today. But, I know it's worth it.
Today was a challenge for food. A challenge that I conquered. I am out of my beloved Click, and this afternoon, I had no "go-to" snacks to combat the goodies that were put out in the office. It was a little tough, but I resisted. It felt really great, and honestly, it lead to a very strange realization. I was thinking about it later... And I really had to think hard "wait...DID I eat something this afternoon?" I felt... Good. Fine. I didn't have any anxiety, or urge to eat everything in my path. I just felt... Normal. It made me wonder for a split second if I had eaten something to give me that calm feeling. Sugar usually does that. It takes the edge off the nerves, soothes the anxiety. So, when I didn't feel these things, I thought for a moment I had actually eaten something! Ok, I know this is probably only making sense in my own head, so I'll let it drop.
Anyway, dinner tonight was a fabulous salad, and topped off with some fresh chocolate protein donuts with some natural peanut butter. Drank tons of water today... And frankly, I'm ready for bed.
I have a workout at Bodyology in the morning, and unfortunately, it's supposed to start snowing at around dawn. This is not going to stop me from going to the workout, and their policy is "we don't close" lol. So, it might be a small but mighty class... But all the better! I'm ready to challenge myself.
Tomorrow is also a special day for another reason...one I cannot disclose until tomorrow in case someone reads this before the surprise. But all I can say is I am so giddy for this day. I really hope the snow doesn't screw everything else up.
I'm not nearly as nervous about weekends as I used to be in regards to staying on track. I feel confident in my plan and even though tomorrow throws me off my game a little, I feel totally confident I will be able to make it work perfectly.
Feeling confident and in control! Soldier on everyone! Be strong! Be courageous! Just Do It!

Weee are the Champions!!!

Thursday. Really? I feel like it should be Friday. No? Just me? Ok, never mind...

Rocked out my Tuff Girl workout last night. 2 weight rounds and 2 tabata rounds.

I discovered I can goblet squat with 40 pounds, and I can now do plank jacks. This is awesome for me. I also noticed while doing surrenders (which I still do without weights) it is getting easier to do. My left side is MUCH weaker than my right, and that's frustrating. I could use a weight with the strength of my right side, but I can't stand at all if I add a weight for my left side. I guess I just have to wait for that side to catch up? I dunno?

The Tabata rounds were killer. Burpees, kick-ups, high knees, plank jacks.

Repeat. That was just one round. Then we did it again. I fought through, finished strong and always finished a move, even if the buzzer signaled we were done. Some just drop whatever they are doing when that buzzer sounds, but if I am in mid-burpee, I might as well finish that damn thing. We ended those rounds with 1 minute intervals of turkish getups, pushups...

ummm.... something else, and then finished with Super Woman.

If you don't know what these things are and you are interested, feel free to ask! Or, I am sure you could google it and get a good idea.
Anyway, I left feeling GOOD. That slow muscle relaxation felt great and I was mentally empowered having conquered that workout.

Food is going well... lots of temptation around here today. Cake pops - in case any of you have been living under a rock, are little lollipops made out of cake and frosting and covered in chocolate.

Yes. They are here. They are directly across from my desk. No, I will NOT be having one.

I get questioned a lot. "Why can't you just have one?" I try to explain, but people who have never had a problem with food just don't get it. Then I hear the inevitable "You really shouldn't deprive yourself, you know" Yes, yes, well, I brought some reinforcements. I have 2 chocolate protein donuts with peanut butter for the top to have in case I feel like I want to partake in the snacking.

I found myself TOTALLY rationalizing having one this morning - before they were even OUT I was thinking about them - telling myself it would be totally fine to have "just one". Hmmm, obsessive much? I just keep reminding myself - One is too many, a thousand is never enough. I cannot put myself on the slope I will inevitably slip down.

Today is also my "snacky" meeting. The weekly meeting where one of the doctors I work for brings in all kinds of treats for everyone to snack on during the meeting. The meeting is at the end of the day, when snacky cravings can potentially be at an all time high. I WILL resist. I'm doing so well. I am committed to making the right choices for myself.

So, I've got my Click. My donuts are at the ready. I'm ready for a fight if needed (internally, of course...lol)

Running today. Gonna get out the door as soon as I can when I get home so I'm not running in the dark. Day 3 of C25K. Looking forward to it.

Tell next time, stay strong. Stay focused.

Weigh-in and frustration

Nope, not weigh-in frustration - frustration with Blogger! For some odd reason, I am not able to read all my peeps posts! They won't load! Is it my computer? Blogger? I dunno, but it's annoying!

Anyway, I spilled all about my weekend last night, so I can move right on to the weigh in this morning

*Ahem* Drum roll please............................

212.

WOO-FREAKIN-HOO! That's 5 lbs this week! WOH BABY! I have FOUND my groove!

Hungry today, but I think I packed enough to be OK.

Tuff Girl workout tonight at 6:00. I'm ready to feel CONFIDENT and STRONG. I will not let any other thoughts into my consciousness. I will be FOCUSED and in the ZONE.

Tomorrow will be Day 3 of C25K. Keep it all moving along.

Gotta run - will write more later.

Warning, long and sorta rambling...

Woh, this weekend was a whirlwind. I hardly remember it was a 3 day weekend for me!
Battled some major demons on Sunday evening. My mom took the boys for the night, which was so nice. Hubs and I got some quiet time alone. As soon as we dropped the boys off, my mind went to food. Crazy, right? I suddenly wanted nothing more than to go and buy heart shaped boxes of chocolate, buy pizza, go home and eat. Eat where I could be uninterrupted by anything and everyone while I fed my addiction.
I felt sickened just thinking about it. Not by the food itself, but by myself and my urge. I was also disappointed because just the evening before, we had triumphed over sweets in the house that were here because of a company meeting we were holding. We totally rocked it! Only the most healthy stuff consumed! All the sweets sent away with the rest of the troupe!we were amazing!and NOW I was going to flounder??
Luckily for me, I have an amazing husband I am able to share these things with. It was hard, but I told him exactly what I was thinking and I told him I really needed support. He was amazing. He guided us to the store, not to buy food, but to buy the face masks we needed to run in the cold. We went home, changed quickly, and at 6:30 PM, in 17degree weather, we went out and ran our first round of C25K. Yes. We ran, in the dark, in the cold, and it felt awesome. We then went home and made a huge, protein filled salad and drank our water. we got a fabulous nights sleep.
I know that my hubby was pivotal in helping me fight my IFG that night. We beat her down with running, and healthy eats. We beat her down with support. I am so, so lucky.
So, yesterday was C25K day 2. Felt good. My feet are getting used to running again. They are achy, but what can you do? Small price to pay for feeling awesome otherwise. the program I am working with is a 3 day per week format. This works well right now. I am going to try to move it along a little faster, to be ready for my first 5k I'm over a year, on March 4. This is an 8 week plan, and I need it to be done in about 6... Well, all I can do is try.
Food has been really good. Very happy with my choices over the weekend, especially in light of my struggles. Weigh in tomorrow morning. Hoping it will show my hard work. Tuff Girl workout tomorrow night.
I was thinking about my workout on Saturday at Bodyology. I was not happy with myself at all. I came home from it and cried instead of feeling the pride i normally do after a great workout there. I felt weak, out of shape, and I felt like the fat girl at the party. It all started when we were warming up and I was watching myself in the mirror. I critiqued every wobble, every flabby bit. It went down hill from there. I put myself into that situation by not seeing myself as awesome for being there and working like a BEAST. I have promised myself I am going to work hard, not only physically, but mentally, to make myself strong and confident.
Until next time, peeps. Stay strong and care on!

Pushing through

Friday, 3:55. I cannot wait to get out of work...I feel so tired today!
Tired leads to feeling munchy. Why do these two things go together?

Bags of candy, caramel corn and chocolate cookies sat out in the office (across from my desk) most of the day.

Yesterday, there was cheesecake.

Oh yes, there was cheesecake.

This girl didn't touch a MORSEL of ANY of it. I ate my plan, drank my coffee and my water.

I won't say I wasn't tempted, because I really was, but I didn't give in.
I found myself at a food crossroad. This is when the IFG (Inner Fat Girl) says "It's fine to just have a bite. Just go ahead. I mean, it's CHEESECAKE! You are so tired, and it will give you energy!"

No fat girl, No.

Because one bite is too many and a thousand is not enough.
AS soon as I start, I can't stop.

So, I have to continuously monitor myself not to start. Not to take that one little step across the line that leads me into insanity. It's never, ever, ever "just a bite".

So, it figures that as I gear up to begin my 5K training, New England decides to actually become New England in the winter, and temps are plunging into the teens. Running in the cold. Not my idea of fun. I will probably still try it tomorrow, during the "warmest" part of the day. It's a start - only 25 minutes. I have good winter gear to wear, so I think I will be good.

Tomorrow morning is another workout at Bodyology. Training twice a week there is different. I am just recovering from the soreness of Wednesday, and I'll be back for more tomorrow! But, different workout.

The other night on the way home from my weight-heavy workout there, I thought about how good it feels after you are done. I'm not just talking about the mental satisfaction, but for me, when my muscles are cooling down and relaxing after I have worked them hard, it feels so good. Like when you crawl into bed after a long day and your whole body just relaxes. That's kinda the feeling. It's awesome. And I ALWAYS sleep like a ROCK that night. I guess it's one of those things that keeps me going back for me. A different type of addiction, maybe? Eh, at least it's a healthy one!

Weekends are usually tough on the food, but I am committed to keeping my steady pace. Keep moving forward. I hope all of you out there are doing the same!!

Oh yea, I... I will survive...

Yes, yes, I survived my workout last night. I lifted heavier weights than I thought I could, and did WAY more mountain climbers on gliders than I ever thought I could (or EVER WANTED to do!)

At one point, the word "hate" came to mind as I glared toward my amazing trainer... in the most loving way possible. She is seriously awesome and helps keep me going way past when I start to think "I can't..."

I have to figure out a running schedule. I am starting to see that the rest of my team for the Rugged Maniac (we are called the Bodyology Bruisers - NICE!) is further along in the running department than I am, and it makes me nervous. At least it's something I can work on on my own... but I need to not only work on my 5K running, but sprinting as well. A Rugged Maniac is not so much a 5K run as a sprint from one obstacle to the next.

I could begin with C25K - 35 minutes a day. This is not a lot of time, but I am trying desperatly to find it in the day. Even at night, for crying out loud! I could try getting up at 5:00 and running first thing... but sometimes Thing 2 is already up, so I don't know... I have a hard time getting up in the morning and exercising. My body feels awful and heavy and it just doesn't want to move. But maybe I just have to get used to it?

Well, that might be my only option. If I get up early and go, that means the hubby has an opportunity to go running later in the day (he wants to start running again as well)

All things to think about.

Food is going great. I am going heavy protein and only carbs in veggies, fruits, and some in my protein powder and these AWESOME protein donuts I made. I have been having one or two at night (they are mini) and the stats are phenomenal. 60 cals each, 5 grams carbs, 3 grams fiber, 8 grams protein. How can you beat that? Oh, yes, and they are DELISH.

I am happy with how my body feels eating like this. I don't subscribe to high fat foods, so I stick with lean proteins, low fat cheese, and even using 3 whole eggs and 3 egg whites in my mini bites, instead of 6 whole eggs. I am constantly trying to lower the fat and cholesterol in whatever I am doing, without, of course, adding carbs and sugar.

This is my food for today:
Click coffee
5 mini bites
2 low fat cheese sticks
2 Morningstar Veggie sausage patties
1 tbs natural peanut butter
strawberries
broccoli and hummus
more Click (if I'm in the mood later)
dinner might be mini turkey meatballs in homemade sauce, or Mexican chicken salad. Or maybe, if I have time to throw it together - buffalo chicken spread with some carrots and celery.
2 protein donuts.

Not sure how many calories I am consuming overall. I'm not tracking right now, because it tends to throw me off my groove. The reason, I think, is my calories tend to be higher when I am on high protein, and that freaks me out. I am absolutely in a groove right now, and I am attempting to stay away from the things that throw me off.

So, I weighed again this morning... I know, I know. I'm trying not to get obsessive, but I am just wondering where my body is at after being sick this weekend. I thought I would be up a little from my weigh in yesterday, but surprisingly enough, I am DOWN - 215.

I'm not logging this as a loss, I don't think, but it's REALLY good to know! Hooray!!

So, tell me blog-land - how many of you were NOT morning people, but have converted for exercise sake??

Whew! Feeling better, and weigh in results

Whew! Ok, I am feeling *LOTS* better! After I wrote yesterday I decided to really focus on drinking water and put a little food in my belly. When I realized it didn't hurt after eating and drinking and I was actually beginning to feel better - well, it was all sunshine and roses from there.

Well, maybe not quite, but you get my drift.

Tonight, training session at Tuff Girl - bands and discs. This is one of those workouts I tend to shy away from, because it exposes my terrible balance and lack of core strength. Therefore, I thought it was important to put it in the schedule.
For those who may not know about discs:

Yes, they look innocent enough. But damn, they work you like crazy. You can do moves like this:

They are also used for things like side lunges, mountain climbers, ab saws, body drags, just to name a few.

Frankly, I am still working on keeping myself up on them when I am in plank. Those bitches are slippery! (Um, Duh Kel)

So, I will work my ass off tonight - yes, literally.

I wrote a little about my next adventure, which will be running a "Rugged Maniac" 5K in MA in September. Check out the trailer HERE
It's going to be awesome, but I have a lot of work to do. But I have 9 months. I was thinking that to myself the other day, and I thought "9 months - well, in 9 months you can make a whole new person" (actually thinking about pregnancy) but it's really true - I can make myself a whole new person in 9 months. A person who is strong enough to conquer craziness like this mud-run. Not just conquer it, but have FUN doing it!

Ok, so, on to the weigh in. This morning the scale said..............
217

So, that would be a 5 lbs loss from last week. It could be a little less because of being sick. But, just as a marker, I weighed myself yesterday morning and it read 211, because of the drastic amount of fluid I had lost from being sick. It is because of this gage that I think 217 might be about right. I am going to check again on Friday to make sure I'm not too off.

But, can I just take a moment and say: SWEET

Ok peeps - I'm out for now. Maybe back later. Keep strong, everyone!

Uggghhhh.....

a very, very short update. Got an awful stomach bug from my minions this weekend, and although my tummy feels better, my body feels like it's been hit by a truck.
Something I am very proud of - I never went to carbs the whole time. Everyone has heard you should eat saltine crackers and the like when recovering. I didn't. I sipped my water and really just started eating again the morning. Ok, drinking really. I'm a little weary of food.
My weigh in tomorrow morning will be skewed because of all the water loss. I will still weigh in, but I won't change my ticker till I feel like normal. Then perhaps I will weigh again on Friday to see what's what.
I have lots to write, and no energy. So, I'll be back later

New Training and New Crazy

Good afternoon, my minions... lol, sorry. I've been calling Thing 1 and Thing 2 that lately and they think it's funny... till Thing 1 started saying it, and I thought it probably wouldn't make him very popular at school, so I stopped. Ok, it's over.

I've decided to start training for a race called a Rugged Maniac in MA. It's taking place in September. I have always been fascinated by races like these, and now that the opportunity is presenting itself, well, I am going to swallow my fear and just do it. It gives me a good amount of time to train. In order to do so, I have fully committed to 2 workouts per week at Bodyology and this weekend I am going to establish a combination running schedule.

Why yes, yes it IS insane. Thanks for asking!

My schedule, when the semester starts, will looks like this:

M: work 7:30-4:30, class 5:20-6:40
T: work 7:30-4:30, class 5:20-8:10
W: work 7:30-4:30, class 5:20-9:50 (no, that's not a typo)
R: work 7:30-4:30, Bodyology 6:00-7:00, Church choir 7:30-9:00
F: work 7:30-4:30
S: Bodyology 8:00-9:00
S: Church 9:00-11:00, teaching (every other) 12:00-4:30

This doesn't include being involved in any kind of show with the theater company.

My children are going to forget what I look like and my husband is going to feel like a single father.

Is this selfish? School and training?

The company is going have to perform without me, I think. I just can't swing it. The hubs is going to love that!

Maybe it's all too much. But what gives? What has to go? I wish it could be work! LOL, then I could train and take classes during the day and see my sweet boys at night! *Sigh* But my school doesn't happen without work (tuition reimbursment), and neither does Thing 1's. He needs to be in pre-school. He's SO SO smart and they are helping him really prepare for kindergarten...

I don't want to miss out on time with my boys, but I want to move beyond myself and do something I never thought I could. I want to be a role model for them. I don't know what to do.

Weigh in Day

I know, it's weird, right? Weighing in on a Wednesday?

Well, that was when I woke up last week and said "Enough of this shit!"
So, weighed in this morning at 222. I am down 3 lbs.

I'm happy enough with it. I was hoping for more, but I was not exactly on par all weekend, so I kinda expected it too.

So, on tap today - work, obviously. Packed all my food. This morning is the last morning I will start off my morning with a Starbucks Skinny Mocha. I am officially out of gift cards, so that will be that.

Besides, I have my Click to keep me warm...lol

Tonight - workout... hmmmm... I am still really sore from my workout on Monday. Actually, even more so today (2 days after is always the worst for me) but the soreness is mostly upper body, so I need to do some strong lower body cardio tonight. Maybe I'll pop in the TurboFire - that is crazy cardio and not too much upper body. Some burpees, but I should be ok.

Last night I attempted an elevated leg plank:

I was up on my hands, and I held it for about 30 seconds. My arms were just too sore to do more. But I was pretty impressed that I did it. It didn't suck as bad as I thought it would. :-)

I was thinking this morning: I spent a lot of time thinking that other peoples ways of eating should be MY way of eating, and not getting anywhere. Regardless of what works for others, I have to stick with what works for ME - or, what is the point???

It's especially important to remember that when I am in school learning about nutrition, and researching all different eating theories.

Those other theories are NOT wrong, they are just different from what I feel I need to do, and they work for other people!

I wish I could spend all day just cooking and planning and working out. Doesn't everyone? But, work beckons.

Work your plans, everyone!! Whatever works for you - WORK IT!

2012 - here I come!

Here we are, the first post of the New Year. 2012 - what changes will you bring?

I have made a great transition back into low carbing it. Feels good. I don't feel hungry. As a matter of fact, I had to remind myself to eat a few times yesterday, and was able to totally avoid mall food yesterday, even as everyone else ate lunch. I munched a few almonds, drank some water, and simply waited till I got home to eat.

Yesterday, I went on a mini cooking spree. At least enough to get us into the week. I made Mexican turkey breast, with my own seasonings, salsa, sweet corn and black beans. Made so much it could last us the week!

I also made turkey cheese BITES. They are so fab. Click the link to go to see Shelly at "Eggface". She makes awesome WLS friendly recipes.

I also tried her protein donuts in my new little Donut maker.

It's super easy to use, and best of all - no frying!

I played with Shelly's donut recipe, and they really came out beautifully. Sugar free, filled with protein and fiber, very low in carbs (no flour!)
Even Thing 1 loves them! The donut King himself!

Went to a super hardcore workout last night at Bodyology last night. I lifted some really heavy weights. I did stiff legged dead-lifts with 60 lbs. I did goblet squats with 35lbs. I did Landmines with 75lbs. I threw 20 lbs medicine balls around, planked with the best of 'em, and jump roped, rowed and push-uped my way into a sweaty mess.

Then I did it all over again.

Needless to say, I felt pretty badass.

I also feel pretty sore today. lol

But that feeling of pushing through. The amazing connection I feel with the ladies there, who I watch in amazement as they all push as hard as they can - and then push harder... and even more amazing, just at the moment I feel like I need to stop, Christa is right there, pushing me through with words of power and encouragement.

I've missed going so much.

I am glad I decided to take the plunge and start going back. I am going to strive for 2 times a week, however, once school starts, I don't know. I may have to go down to one. But, I want it to go back to being consistent again. I can't let things get in my way on this one. This must remain a priority!!

Speaking of priorities - this is my only New Year's Resolution:

1. Establish my priorities and work accordingly.

My resolutions have always been weight loss in nature. That doesn't help me. Goals are good, but making a resolution means nothing to me. So, why should I bother making out a big list of things? My one goal right now encompasses my life. Priorities are tough for me to organize. So, it makes sense to work on that, thus, working on everything!

Well, THAT sounds too good to work! LOL We will see!

So, here I am, low-carbing, Metabolic Effect-learning, working-out queen.

Welcome to my Kingdom.