I've lost 185lbs, and then gained some back.
But I'm kicking ass and striving for my ultimate goal: A 200 lb loss.
Working all mental, physical and emotional aspects of being healthy, happy and fit. You'll see my ups and downs here, because I'm proud to be imperfect!
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
It comes down to trust
I have to say I am a little sad I didn’t get more support on yesterdays post post. 36 views and one comment. It’s ok. I know what many of you may be thinking – not weighing myself is an excuse to eat poorly. I understand where you may be coming from, and all I can say is – it cannot be further from the truth.
Just to give you a snap shot of food yesterday:
Oatmeal, egg white, blueberries
Ezekiel bread, PB
Chicken bites (clean, made at home), 4 quinoa bites (clean, made at home)
Carrots and hummus
Salad with romaine, spinach, peppers, tomatoes, carrots, a few olives and 1 tbs home made dressing
air popped popcorn
A little on the carby side, I realized. But calories still in check. I AM still logging food into Livestrong – I can only trust myself a little at a time!
That’s what I think this is coming down to. I have never trusted myself with anything related to eating properly, weight loss, or exercise. I always question myself. I could be dizzy and dry-heaving in a workout and I would look back and wonder if I could have done more, or if there was an excuse somewhere there. The same goes with food and anything related to this path I’m on. (Yes, Norma, I will refrain from using the term “journey” – lol)
Excuses got me to 365 lbs, and I am never, ever going anywhere NEAR there again.
But at what point can you say that you can trust yourself? Such a hard question for me. I am still nervous about it, but not weighing myself is freeing me to focus on my other goals. The numbers on the weights I lift going up, the height on my box jump going up, the strength of my arms, back and chest for a pull-up.
I’ve decided to purchase the book The New Rules of Lifting for WomenI’ve heard really good things about it, and I think it will help me be more consistent with my lifting and progress. I get an awesome workout with weights when I go to Bodyology, but that’s only once a week. I enjoy my Group Power class, but that’s just once a week. I want a plan I can do at home, if needed, or something I can do at the gym without a class. Walking into the free weight section at the gym is a little intimidating, so I really want to know what I am going to do before I get over there – I don’t want to look like an ass. I should be getting my book Friday. I would love to start it ASAP – I still have 20 days till surgery, and I feel like I could only benefit from it, even if I have to stop in the middle for a bit. Then, I would just start from the top again once my doc gives me the go-ahead.
Have any of you out there used the book? I understand there is a"diet" involved in it. I will certainly take a look at the info, but I am getting it for the weight lifting program. I think they probably advocate for clean eating, anyway...I know Dr. PlumPetalshas used it, and has now moved on to using the original. Any thoughts, guys?
snap shot of today’s eats:
Ezekiel bread, PB
black bean soup, sprinkle of feta cheese
Red peppers, hummus
Not sure about dinner yet, but I have been loving my salads. However, I need some more protein, so I’ll have to see what I can cook up to go with it.
Water, water, water
Won’t make it to my Group Power class tonight – it’s Ash Wednesday, and the choir is singing at this evening’s service. I’m fairly sure I can make it to the gym tomorrow after work and before choir practice. I’ll be red and maybe a little sweaty, but hey, they’ll deal.
More snow in the forecast for this evening (just a few inches, I guess) – Thing 1 BETTER have school tomorrow. He hasn’t had it since LAST Thursday. They are also predicting a much heavier snowfall – perhaps even another blizzard, for Sunday into Monday. I give up.
Any of you guys out there have trust issues with YOURSELF like I do?