Friday, March 16, 2012

Weigh in Day

Good morning, fellow bloggers.

Well, it's weigh in day for me. Last time I weighed in was Feb 23. 3 weeks ago. So, I had a lot of expectation this morning. I have been looking forward to it and dreading it all at once. So, this morning, I just did it.

Feb 23 - 207
March 16 - 204


3 weeks. 3 lbs.

I'm not happy with this. Yes, it's a loss, but it's a really sucky loss. I am not consuming ONE FUCKING IOTA of crap food. I am exercising. I lose 3 fucking pounds in 3 whole weeks.

It seriously makes me want to cry.

This is the real kick in the ass. I can't even REALLY change anything... I mean, I am tracking every few days (because tracking everyday gets me obsessive, plus I am pretty much eating the same thing every day) to keep calories in check. I'm getting in around 1500 cal per day (yesterday was around 1400, I've gone as high as 1650, but that was a day 2 weekends ago when we ate out at the vegan restaurant)... I am eating NO sugar, NO processed junk, NO fried foods... I am ONLY eating when I am hungry and NOT out of boredom, fatigue, stress, anxiety... I eat a small, measured portion so as not to over eat... It doesn't even matter. I can talk about it all I want. It doesn't change anything.

I've said before. I'm doing this for recovery. But dammit, it's hard work to be totally abstinent from these things. To spend so much time everyday planning, weighing, measuring, packing every ounce of food. Finding time in my schedule to work out, even when I would rather be relaxing. 3 pounds is what I get.

Fuck you.

To top off all this shit - my husband and I had a blow-out this morning. I KNOW he is tired of me talking about food and weight and OA and all of this shit. So, great. Now I have no one to even talk to about it. I guess I'll just keep it all to myself. Awesome. It's like going back in time. "Keep everything in, Kel... don't burden anyone with your thoughts or feelings. They might not like you if you say too much".. perfect.


  1. Uugh, I feel the same way!! But cheer up, some weeks (or months) are going to be better than others. That’s what I keep telling myself! Sneak some extra cardio in, park farther when you shop, do jumping jacks through the commercials when you watch tv, walk around the neighborhood after dinner, etc. Cardio, cardio, cardio! And you always have your readers to talk to :) Keep at it, it is SO worth it!!!

  2. There is not a damn thing wrong with 3 lbs in 3 weeks. Isn't 1 pound a week considered a healthy moderate loss? Doesn't it add up to 52 pounds in a year, 104 in two years?

    I say congratulate yourself on LOSING three pounds and NOT gaining or maintaining. LOSING. I say celebrate the damn 3 pounds. :D

  3. I echo what Princess wrote. Three pounds down is three pounds you no longer have. What are you going to do when you lose 2 oz each week for three weeks? The closer you get to goal the longer it takes to lose each precious ounce. Baby stepping it now will help you later.

    You mentioned OA. I assume you have an AA Big Book? the last page of the chapter "Acceptance is the Key."