Saturday, March 12, 2011

How Kelliann got her groove back

Or: Run Mama, Run
Or: Yeah B*tch
It was hard to decide which title to use for this one.
With the help of a friend, I resolved last night that this morning I would get up for a run. My hubby let me sleep in a little (getting up at 7 is a luxury!) and, wouldn't you know it, the debate began...
"well, I don't HAVE to run - I mean, I have a dance rehearsal later..."
"I could always do an aerobic DVD later..."
"I don't know if I have enough time now..."
And so forth.
Finally, I thought - the amount of time I just took making excuses, I could have been half done with my run! So, I got moving.
With no preconceived notions about how it would go, how much I would run vs walk, how fast or slow I would go - I just went. I tuned into my body. I concentrated on using my muscle, to ease stress on my knees. I paid close attention to my left calf, which, as I ran, got a bit more sore.
I centered in on the heaviness of my breath, on the way I increased my stride to glide up a soft incline. The bounce of my new Nike runners. I felt open to the experience as a whole when I wasn't concentrating on my time.
Some other parents out there my understand my next thought: There is a show on the Disney Channel called Phineas and Ferb. It's one of the few shows Thing 1 watches that doesn't drive me crazy, and on occasion, I find myself actually stopping mid-housework and watching. The two characters are constantly doing outrageous and intelligent projects. Sometimes, an adult will ask them "aren't you a little young to be doing this?" to which they respond, very seriously "Why yes, yes we are.
During my run today, as people began to emerge from their homes to gal avant here and there, I couldn't help but feel a little self conscious. Then I thought of them saying to me "Aren't you a little FAT to be doing this" to which I would respond, very seriously "Why yes, yes I am"
And yet here I am. Running.
Besides my aching calf, which did end up putting a slightly early end to this mornings movement, I remembered once again how good it can feel to push your body. To challenge yourself to run one more song, one more minute, one more step.
The rest of the day ended up being quite stressful. My eating wasn't stellar, but I am growing tired of beating myself up, so I am letting it go. On my way home from target, I was thinking about how I could release some of my pent up tension - and my first thought was some Yoga.
Hooray for me.
So, that's how I will end my evening.
How about you?

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