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Tuesday, February 14, 2012

The Demise of Me.

Yes, Demise.

I fell off my mountain yesterday. Hardcore. Actually, I took a flying leap off the mountain.

One thing that is funny about that is sometimes you don't even realize you have taken the plunge, or how far down you've come, till you look back up at where you have to go.

F*ck.

I don't need to go into details. But I will say one thing.

Cadbury Creme Eggs are my crack.

I work with people who are what we call poly-substance abusers. Meaning that they abuse more than 2 drugs, usually for an extended period of time. But, there is usually one that they would call their "Devil". Like Crack, or Coke...

For me, it's Cadbury Creme Eggs.

Go ahead, you can laugh. It does sound funny, especially comparing it to cocaine users, but it seriously feels like I start and can't stop.
Ok, fine. Start and can't stop - but it's the STARTING that was MY decision. A very bad decision.

So, this time of year (oh, yeah, Happy Valentines Day all, don't kill yourself with candy, mkay?) Until after Easter (April 8) will be RIPE with these little suckers. Avoiding them totally is my only option. Fer Real.

I also let the bad eating lead me right into NOT going to the gym.

When it rains, it pours, apparently.

I could list SO many reasons why I know yesterday went the way it did. I'm not going to do that. There is NO excuse. Are there reasons that I have to learn from? - YES. If you could find one positive aspect of a binge, it would be that it is a learning experience. But only for those who choose to learn from it.

I choose to learn.

So. Food packed and already logged. Class tonight. Gym for a run after. I have my 5K on March 4. 19 Days and counting.

Today will suck. The first day on the straight and narrow after a binge always sucks. Cravings are raging already, at 8:55 am. If I had one of those damn eggs in front of me, I would absolutly scarf it down eat it. So, sucks to be me.

Onward, soldiers.

3 comments:

  1. it happens to the best of us, yes it does. You can get back in control. Those eggs? They're definitely addictive and I can't even explain why. Stupid holidays! be strong!

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  2. Remember that one bite is too much and a thousand more will NOT be enough. The only thing to do is not have that first bite. Once you get that mindset you can be free of the obsession.

    You are not a victim. It does not suck to be you. The 'poor me' mindset will just lead you to pour another egg down the gullet. You have a choice even when it feels like you don't.

    I lived on Cadbury eggs and Reeses Peanut Better cups between Valentine's Day and Easter for several years. Perhaps I should not say lived, I should say died slowly . . . . it wasn't pretty. I hope to God I will never be there again. It does not mean I will not have days when I want to pick up the stuff again, but if I take the necessary steps, I do not have do just because I want to. This is a life outside of foil wrapped sugar and cocoa butter.

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  3. Before picture.....Tuff Girl picture...Cadbury Eggs...
    REALLY ??

    ReplyDelete