Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Dreams, cravings, binges, wants, needs, oh my!

I'm really striving to listen to my body today. Only eat when I am hungry.

Cravings have been RAVENOUS.

I don't think it helped that I had a dream last night that I binged on Cadbury crème eggs. When I woke up, it was so vivid, I really had to sit for a minute and evaluate if I had really done it.

I didn't... damn... I don't think...

No, no... I didn't.

I just plowed through a snack and a half and I am taking a breath before I keep going and sabotage myself. Snack and a half was 3/4 cup celery sticks with 2 tbs natural peanut butter, 2 oz 75% reduced fat cheese.

Now, I have a Larabar sitting in front of me.

These are NOT bad choices. However, I'm really not physically hungry...

I don't think I am...

No, no I'm not.

I just want something. But what?

OH! I KNOW! Let's play "Analyze My Brain"

What could be leading me into cravings-central:
It's the middle of the afternoon (snacky time, sleepy time)
I am practically alone in the office (no witnesses).
I have work to do but little motivation.
Stressed about getting my run in tonight (I won't be out of class till 8 - Gym, here I come).
Stressed about inclement weather making it's way over, which will likely cause headaches tomorrow with the minions and the school/daycare closing.
Stressed about an exam on Wednesday evening (which is the only good reason for inclement weather - could cancel MY school!)

Ok, taking all of these things into account... what do I really want?

What I want is... crap. I'm no good at this.

I want to be home doing my run.
I want to be home hanging with my family.
I want to be away from this desk, so the thought of scarfing something down just because I am sedentary becomes a mute point.
I want to find some calming of these cravings by doing things like writing this blog post.

And I already have... I put the Larabar away (perfect for before I hit the gym later). I look at what I really want, as opposed to what is actually occurring. And while I can't leave work and go home and run, or hang with my kids right now, etc, deconstructing what I want, and then being able to see the correlation between the things I want "NOW" (Temporarily) and the things I want in the future (Permanently) For example:

-I want to finish my education so I can have the job I really want, therefore, for now, my extra time will be occupied by school.

I have to remember that the whiney "wants" of now are fleeting. I will get my run done tonight. I will get home to my family, all while working toward something great.

Writing this helped me pass on eating anything else I am not hungry for. Cravings are difficult, but they are almost ALWAYS fleeting. If I can abstain for a little while, I can usually beat them. Once I leave here and make my drive to class, and sit through class and stop at the gym... well, it will be hours from now, and I will not have "needed" to eat a thing. I contend that a busy mind is your friend when it comes to cravings. An idle mind... well... a whole different story.

This post may seem tangent-y. Sorry about that. BUT, "it's my bloggy and I'll tangent if I want to" - go ahead, sing it, you know you want to...

I'll be back - I have another tangent on the governments and Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics idea of a "good" "healthy" diet... that'll be a doozy...


  1. I loved the dream part of your post ~ made me laugh! I've done that before. Wake up and not know if the dream was real or not. Glad you did not eat the Cadbury crème eggs. Easter candy is hard to resist!

    The rest of your post, I totally get! I'm with you on being frustrated with what has to be done now. I'm so wanting to do something else too and it makes it hard getting through the day. I just have to focus on the task at hand and push forward!! Even if I don't want to

    Keep focused!

  2. That was a very good bit of work. Good job,

    We cannot live if we stave but We can live through a craving. No one ever died of hunger between lunch and dinner.