Friday, January 25, 2013

Purpose, goals, focus

HEY! Did that title get you to open the post? J
I’ve been thinking about a lot of stuff lately. Nothing really new – but some things I have to address.
My psychiatrist (the guy who gives me the meds J) asked me a very interesting question.
“So…. What is your goal after your surgery?”
Wow. I hadn’t thought about it. I’ve been very focused on getting to surgery. But what about after?
I’m really glad he posed the question. We all remember how I totally fell apart after my mud run in the fall. It was the beginning of months of struggle in many ways.
I think this can happen to the best of ‘em. You prep and focus on a specific event. Then once it’s over – well, you feel empty. You feel a sense of loss. Loss of purpose. Loss of focus.
life purpose
So, now I am really thinking on it. Why am I concerned about it? Well, because I am prone to bouts of depression.  And this type of sudden lack of focus and lack of specific goals is the biggest culprit of a flare up.
What is my goal after surgery? For my entire life that I can recall – my life has been focused on weight loss goals. Yes, I will still need to lose some weight after the surgery, but it will be a lot more strength gaining and losing weight will be a little less “urgent”. Maintaining a healthy focus while not actively needing to lose a large amount of weight is something I have never encountered. Maybe, for the first time, the number on the scale will not be what I base myself of… what then?
Specific fitness goals seem to make sense here. Strength gaining goals. I have lots of these I can think of – the only issue with this being my focus, is that I will be unable to do any intense training for probably 6 weeks after the surgery.
Keeping my diet very clean will be a priority, of course…
I have already signed up for another mud run in the fall… so, there is training for that….
I’m really just hashing this all out in my head right now.
I just don’t want to feel that struggle. I don’t want to feel that loss. I want to avoid it at all possible cost.
Anyone reading this been in a similar situation? Thoughts?


  1. I haven't been in any similar situation, Kelliann, but I'm wondering how you're going to handle the not being able to exercise -- or even walk normally, etc. -- for a long time after surgery. I remember how laid up and in pain Jen@priorfatgirl was after her surgeries, and the reason I haven't had a tummy tuck or lipo is because the prospect of not being able to exercise for two months is terrifying.

    1. Just to clarify: I know you need to have the surgery for quality of life and all; I didn't want my comment to sound like the surgery was a bad idea. I just know that Jen gained a decent amount of weight back after her skin removal surgery, mainly because her diet went to shit -- there's a lot to deal with post-surgery, both physically and emotionally and those six or eight weeks are going be a real challenge for you. A challenge I am sure you will knock out of the park, but nonetheless, something you want to prepare for and think about.

    2. I absolutly agree. The more I think about not being able to sweat out my stress, the more worried I get about it. My diet has to stay CRYSTAL even to maintain... This DOES make me nervous... not sure what to do about it, to be honest. All the more reason I need a plan of action before hand. A goal that will help me stay on the clean eating path...

  2. I feel embarrassed not knowing this, but what kind of surgery are you getting - lipo, tummy tuck, skin removal, all of the above? I've thought about a tummy tuck and maybe lipo for my thighs, but the no working out thing scares me, too.

    1. Hi Kelly! I am having an extended abdominalplasty (2 incisions instead of one, one horizontal and one vertical because there is so much extra skin) and a brachioplasty (arm skin). I don't believe it includes any lipo - just skin removal.
      It's medically needed for me - the extra skin is causing skin breakdown and infections - really painful. It's NOT going to be fun, but it WILL be worth it! :-)