Thursday, May 12, 2011

Dark places

The stress is getting to me, and I am taking it out on myself and my body. Something really has to change, and I am trying to find my way back to the place I was in, not so long ago.
I have made the decision not to take a summer course. I think taking that out of the equation will help releave a little bit of pressure, and perhaps I can focus on the issues at hand. I am even contemplating leaving the board of the theater company - which would be a huge deal for not only me, but for my husband, and this crazy band of theater people I have come to know and love. But, I have to think about my health - mental, physical, psychological, and spiritual. Will stopping that commitment help me accomplish all the other important things that need to be accomplished? I don't know. That's what I really need to weigh out before I make such a huge decision. This theater group has been a dream of Hubby's and mine for a long time - but having all of the work divided among 3 of us is just too much. There is a lot of things to think about regarding this.
Ok, today is what I consider a rock bottom day - and yes, it's only 10:52 AM. I started the day with not one, but TWO starbucks mochas. Shame - yes, guilt - yes... It was like my car was on auto pilot pulling in for that second when I was so close to work.

Hello, my name is Kelliann, and I am a food addict and binge eater.
Yes, this is for real. I have always known that and I have done a lot of work to help myself with it. I made the mistake, however, of thinking I had somehow gotten rid of it. But that never really happens. There will always be something that will trigger it, and you have to be ready for that so you can combat it. I wasn't ready, so I have slipped and now I have to get back up. Hooray therapy.
I have made a goal, and hubby and I are both working on our individual goals together. Taking charge of my time and prioritizing is part of being able to accomplish them.

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