Tuesday, May 17, 2011


have you ever felt like you have different parts, and that sometimes those parts are battling each other? I do. Pats of me that say "I don't wanna", "I can't", etc (sometimes called the inner critic) and parts of me that say "just suck it up", "get over it"... and still others that just struggle to find a happy medium.

No, I'm not going crazy. I think this happens in a lot of people.
I had a mental/physical rest day yesterday. I took off of work, I took the kids to grandma's, and I went to the gym for the first time in months. I did a 47 minute High Intensity Interval workout on the treadmill. Walk for a minute (3.5), run for a minute (7.0-7.2)I did 5 of these, then 2 high intervals with incline up to 9 for 2 minutes each, and then a light jog rounded it out near the end. I really felt it, and still do today. I topped off the day with 45 minutes of yoga, which I find enjoyable, and helped stretch out the muscles I had pushed earlier. Today, no exercise, except a short stroll outside at lunch, and tomorrow night is Tuff Girl Bootcamp.
I have made a goal outline on (joshsammamma). Mostly because the hubs wanted to, and since he doesn't blog, I agreed to join him on that site. Here is my goal as it stands on
"Revamp my lifestyle"
I commit to:
Return to exercising 45-60 minutes, at least 4 days per week. I will limit my Starbucks consumption to 2 or less per week. I will return to tracking all of my food online. I will only weigh myself 1 time per week. I will return to my previous healthy eating habits. I will take the summer to work on my therapy and not take a school class so that I can focus on healing and getting back to a healthy lifestyle. I will be under 200 lbs by the end of 12 weeks.
I don't normally state my weight on here, since I don't think it's always needed, but I am currently 218. In 12 weeks - 90 days, I will be under 200.
So, the exercise is already working out well. I am excited to be back into it. And, with classes ending I will have time to resume that again. The Starbucks is tough. I had a final exam last night and while studying during the day and on the way to the exam, I had 2 mocha's (total). Really? There went my 2 WEEKLY in the first DAY. I had one this morning, and I am NOT going to have another. I ordered some Click Protein to help with the caffeine weaning... am I a wuss? Maybe. I'm just trying to get myself back. I don't know where I went - but I'm coming back.
I hope now that my schedule is decreasing some, I will start feeling less anxious, less nervous and stressed. Will continue to asses and continue to blog. It's really cathartic for me.
Food today: Trying not to obsess too much, but the binging/overeating is OUT:
natural PB and low sugar jelly on high fiber wrap
kashi cereal
Special K crackers, hummus
Can of chunky steak and veggie soup (the stats might surprise you. They are quite good, even though the sodium is a bit high)
dark chocolate almonds (not coated, just dusted is cocoa powder. Really quite good, and NOT a chocolate bar!)
turkey breast with fiber one breading?
?? what else? I dunno. I should know, since today my schedule goes till almost 9:00 without a break. So much for schedules lightening up after the show and classes are over.

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