Sunday, May 22, 2011

Ok, ok...rough weekend, but this is getting to be old news, huh? When did I revert back to "I'll start on Monday? I dunno, but I really hate it. I don't want to be that person anymore.
I didn't make it to the gym this week. The only time I had to do it was yesterday morning, as soon as the gym opened (7am) and I couldn't drag myself out of bed. So, it didn't happen. We DID go to the renaissance faire and walked around for hours... so I thought that might count as a little exercise. But food... seriously? WTF? Where is my "Drill Sargent"? Where is my "suck it up" voice? I know where - I am drowning them in chocolate! ACK! I feel kinda lost...confused... I keep reassuring myself that I will figure it out, but I keep NOT figuring it out... I don't know.

I saw myself in a new light this weekend. With the help of a dear friend, and the barter system, I got a brand new, gorgeous, amazing corset to go with my Ren garb - and frankly, anything else I can think of to wear with it. But in it, I saw the gorgeous shape I COULD have... if I just keep at it, and perhaps visit with the plastic surgeon (yes - did you think losing 150 lbs wasn't going to come with some gross loose skin to get rid of??) I felt so good - so gorgeous. I felt the way I have never felt before, and never thought I DESERVED to feel before... Once the corset was off, I just felt like me again. Frumpy. Flabby... yuk. But, I got a glimpse. A glimpse of what could be. What MUST be. I want to feel that way all the time - without always using boning and lacing!

1 comment:

  1. I hear you Kelliann! I totally understand your delimma however you are doing such a good job and keep up the good work!! I too have been working my butt off trying to beat down the weight and I am fighting the weekends to stay on track (fell but I am getting up)! I am determine to defeat this weight! Thank you for being such an encouragement!!!!