Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Very indecisive - and Thing 2's bad mood

I knew I needed to do some good cardio tonight, along with my 100 crunches - but I had a really hard time choosing what to do. I started with Billy Blanks Jr. "Dance with Me" because I thought I'd try to have some fun... then, the hubs comes down stairs and gives me funny looks. I tell him I'm trying to make this fun, and he should join me. He tries, for a few minutes, and the Thing 2 starts crying from upstairs.

Let me preface this by saying that we have been pretty spoiled by Thing 2 - he has always been a good sleeper (UNLIKE Thing 1) - but what's hard is I find myself less patient with Thing 2 when he doesn't sleep like normal. Then, of course, I feel bad. Maybe I should have told him I was trying to workout before I passed out. I am SURE that would have calmed him right down. Yeah. Ok.
Anyway, I am frustrated, running up and down the stairs, trying to do the workout, going up and calming the baby, coming back down, working out again, going back up... the hubs goes up and seemingly gets him to sleep. By this point, I had changed from the dance cardio to a 6 round cardio/core/strength video, and then finally to a workout called "Boost Metabolism" with (shudder)Jillian Michaels.

Ok, another disclaimer. I really, really don't like Jillian Michaels. She is a media whore and all she does is hock pills, powders, and make people think the only way to get obese people to lose weight is to scream at them. Ok, moving on.
Now that I have gotten that out - I actually really liked the video. It's about 45 minutes, all cardio circuits, easy movements that are done with intensity and you burn some serious calories. According to my FitBit, I burned about 500 in the 45 (well, 55 minutes total) I was working out. Of course, taking into account the stair running I did to try and calm Thing 2.
So, not surprisingly, I have a massive headache. I had a delightful protein shake after my workout, and I feel better. my abs are on FIRE, since I ALSO did my 100 crunches this evening - yes - in addition to the workout. Why yes, yes I DO rock a little. ;-)

Monday, May 30, 2011

New weekly challenge

I found myself, after slacking off today, going to a few picnics and eating a little too much (though, I MUST say, that this weekend has really been QUITE good in the food department. I am seriously happy with the hubs and myself) wanting to take part in a challenge this week. So, I first thought of the 100 push-up a day challenge I participated in. So, at about 9:30 PM, I got down on my mat to start my 100 push-ups... OUCH. My wrist was in pain... I tried a few more. Nope. This is NOT happening. Not sure what I did to it. In everyday living, no problems, but in push-ups, it hurts. A lot.
So I turn, of course, to my hubs. What other challenge can I do? He suggests 100 crunches... after all, I had already done 100 yesterday as part of the Power90 video.
So, here's what I did:
10 traditional crunches
10 wide leg crunches
10 left crunches
10 right crunches
20 scissors
10 reverse crunches
20 bicycles (knee to elbow)
30 second forearm plank, which I counted as my last 10

Whew. My belly was screaming! And, it shall scream again tomorrow!

One thing I love about the "100 _______ per day challenges" is that it shows you that change CAN occur in a few minutes a day. A few hard, intense minutes everyday, and you can change your body in some way...
So, I will continue this until I have completed 7 days of 100 crunches per day. I will, of course, report back. I also already know what my next challenge will be - increasing the amount of time I can hold plank position. Not sure how to make this work as a challenge yet - we will see.
Speaking of reporting - Give me a few more days with this FitBit and I am going to spill all the ins and outs, the likes and dislikes. Stay tuned.

My first award!

I am so grateful for Headspace over at his FABULOUS blog for my very first award!

SO COOL! I've never been stylish before! LOL
Ok, so per protocol, I have to tell you 7 things about myself and then nominate other fab bloggers to receive this award.
1. I am not a natural red-head (SHHHH!!!)
2. When I was pregnant with my first son, I drank a gallon of milk every 2 days.
3. I tend to be high-strung (I bet you didn't know that about me ;-) )
4. I HATE to be hot
5. I secretly enjoy "Phineas and Ferb" - those guys crack me up
6. I have always wanted to move to Seattle
7. I hate that media-whore Jillian Michaels.

Ok, here are some blogs that I will pass this award on to!

Sarah at "not an effing diet"
Ellen at "Fat Girl Wearing Thin"
Ana at "Ana's Weight Loss Journey
Healthier Me
Princess Dieter at "Once Upon a Diet

There are lots of other great blogs out there - I am finding more and more everyday! I love blog-land!

Saturday, May 28, 2011

100th Post and exciting new adventures!

Welcome to my 100th post! This is very exciting for multiple reasons. First, well, 100 posts is awesome! I guess I have a lot to say! Second I have 2 really awesome things to talk about!
First - I am the LEADER of one of the 10 groups in the US chosen for the Fit Bottomed Girls Weight Loss Challenge - July. I am SO excited about this opportunity, as many of you know. I see this as a stepping stone to my ultimate goal of helping people become healthy, fit and happy as a career. I am currently looking for DEDICATED, HARDWORKING, MOTIVATED ladies to join this group. Together, in 8 weeks, we are really going to change our lives for the better! Never heard of Fit-Bottomed Girls? Check them OUT! More about this as we move toward July...

ALSO - I got my FITBIT last night! I am SOO excited. As I learn how to use the program and see how it uploads itself, and tracks all of my movement for me, and I log my food into the data base - I can really see what I am burning vs. what I am taking in. I LOVE it so far! It also tracks your sleep and tells you what % efficiency you are getting from your sleep. For example, last night, it took me 14 minutes to fall asleep, I woke up 7 times (most of those I don't remember), I was in bed for a little more than 8 hours and asleep for 7 hours, 45 minutes total, and my efficiency was 95%. Yes, it gives you ALL that info. It's SO interesting. Why would you care about your sleep, you ask? Because many studies have shown that people who don't get enough sleep can have a harder time losing weight. Also, if you see that your efficiency is not what it should be, it could be because of a medical condition, and it could help cue you to see your doctor! So far, I REALLY LOVE my Fitbit...and my hubby is super jealous. Eh, Father's Day is coming - maybe I can talk the boys into getting one for him ;-)
So, I am super excited about lots of stuff today! I hope everyone else is having a fab day as well!

Friday, May 27, 2011

Am I am FIT Bottomed Girl?

Morning all! A long weekend looms before us, and I plan on taking advantage of every single second...

I have applied to be a leader in the Fit Bottomed Girls July Weight=Loss Challenge I am hoping I am chosen, and THEN I am hoping I can get a team together. I need at LEAST 5-7 girls (preferably more!) to all join in the challenge for 8 weeks. In that 8 weeks, we all meet - once a week for a meeting and podcast from Fit Bottomed Girls on the Fit Bottomed Lifestyle. For example: Mindful eating is a lesson taught. Not deprivation, not severe restriction... and fitness is a big aspect of this! If I become a leader, I would love to lead some fitness "classes" - maybe popping in a cardio DVD, or going for a walk/jog with the group. I think we could learn a lot about each other, and even more about ourselves.
If our team WINS (with the largest percentage of INCHES lost) we win tons of cool stuff! Like free Jazzercise Classes membership for a YEAR and other cool prizes!
My ultimate dream is to own and operate a Weight Loss and Wellness Center, where everyone, every shape, size, fitness level, can come and find a nutrition plan and exercise plan that is right for them. In conjunction, I want to have good references/cohorts to help in anyway needed: counselors, alternative therapies (Reiki, massage etc)... This could be the start of something really great in moving me toward that goal - helping people be fit and happy! Along the way, I just might make it to my goal as well! WOOT!
So HEY! If YOU are reading this - you live in my area, and you want to learn a NEW and HEALTHY way to live - contact me! Let's do this!!! July Challenge, HERE WE COME!

Thursday, May 26, 2011


I am so excited to report that I ordered my very own FITBIT!!! I even expedited shipping so I can get it TOMORROW - 'cause I'm impatient like that!

I started the Stephanie Vitorino 6 round slimdown last night. It's a 45 minute workout that goes through 6 rounds of strength,cardio and core within each round. At just about 30 minutes, I got dizzy and felt really yucky... a funny kind of possibly-on-the-verge-of-passing-out feeling. No Bueno. So, I stopped it. Sat right down on the floor, pointed the fan at myself and breathed. Once the dizziness had passed, I stretch slowly and just sat. I knew that was it for me. when I felt steady, I got up, mixed myself a cold protein shake, and folded laundry for about an hour and a half. What excitment, but I knew I had to take it easy.
After that whole issue, I felt very sore, like I had worked out for hours. I felt really good that I didn't turn to food to comfort myself. I had something to get my body right, and that was all. Even later, when the hubs was going for a snack, he asked if I wanted anything. I took a moment, thought "am I really hungry" and figured out I wasn't, and passed on the snack. I took a little tylenol and went to bed. This morning I feel ok, not too sore.
Today's food will be good - my only stressor is that I have a meeting where the Doc who runs it ALWAYS brings in tons of cookies, and huge sourdough pretzels. I am determined to leave it all alone. I will NOT partake. I will eat a snack prior, so I am not hungry, and not fall into the mindless eating trap. I am better than that!!
I will certainly update you on my FITBIT as soon as I get it... I am WAY excited!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Fitness on the fly...

I got in some unexpected cardio today - 2 miles of walking on my lunch. Took about 35 minutes or so, and it's nice out, but WARM. Walking, dressed for work, in the warmth = lots of sweating. Ew.
Now, I love a good sweat. I feel SO good when I workout and I am dripping after, but NOT when I have to go back to work for the second half of my day. Thank goodness I have good deodorant. Was that TMI?
I was expecting a kick-ass Tuff Girl workout this evening, but it has been cancelled - and for very good reason. Our Tuff Girl leader, Christa Doran is HAVING HER BABY! HOORAY FOR MAMA AND BABY DORAN! I've been thinking of her all day and praying that things go well for the both of them.

Anyway, because of my change in plans, I will find a good workout OnDemand... Stephanie Vitorino has a 6 round bootcamp type workout. I mean, check her out - she looks like she knows her stuff, no? I did this workout a while ago that was TOUGH - and I think I'll kick my own ass tonight.
Food has been very good today, exercise you already know about... so, it's going well so far. No eating things I shouldn't...which, by the way, I have found a help for - Usually after meals, I get an overwhelming craving for something sweet... and frankly, the past few weeks (read: months) I have on occasion indulged that craving... now, I don't want to sound like a commercial, but I keep gum in my desk, and as soon as that craving hits, I have a piece and it totally has been helping me get my mind off it. PLUS, it keeps my mouth busy for a while, so I don't start sticking things in it I shouldn't

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Musings part deux

Pretty good day. Had a nice brisk walk in the muggy weather today with hubby at lunch, and then did a Biggest Loser cardio DVD workout. Feel good - tired, but good. Ate pretty well.

Watching the Biggest Loser Finale. I have a love-hate relationship with the Biggest Loser now. I really hate that media-whore Jillian Michaels, but I love to see people succeed in their weight loss goals and do things they never imagined they could do. That is why I am moving into the fitness and nutrition field - I want to help people do that. I want to see that glow and know that I helped someone change their lives and find fitness and hopefully a longer, fuller life. What could be better than that?
I love teaching voice lessons to people. It's a similar experience - sometimes you work with someone and the light suddenly goes off and there is a huge breakthrough. To see someone glow with pride at their accomplishment is so rewarding... however, I feel like a bit of a mediocre voice teacher. I often know how to fix faults, and I can work to improve peoples tone, and technique, but it really bothers me that I can't play piano to accompany my students. It makes me feel incompetent and I don't feel I can adequately prepare some of them for the auditions and performances they work toward. I don't like feeling this way... it's part of the reason I needed to find something in my life I could feel totally competent in. I don't want to feel like something is missing from my career... It's hard to explain.
Anyway, I know it's been a double post day. Sometimes I just have more to say, and need to get it out. Thanks for reading.
If you are reading this and you are NOT following me - shame! Click on "Follow" and get updates automatically! :-)

Tuesday musings

I'm battling with lots of things right now. My food is going well today especially. It wasn't *too* bad yesterday. Now that my schedule is lighter, I will be able to resume my exercise schedule the way I want it. That makes me really happy.
The hubs and I are under a huge amount of stress right now with our "baby", our theater company. It's extremely difficult to keep things moving forward. We have people leaving us we thought we could count on, we have no "home-base" and therefore rehearsals are difficult to schedule and plan. There are so many people in the mix that need to be worked around. People are upset, they are frustrated, and it's all coming at us all the time. It's a lot of energy being directed toward us and it really takes it's toll.
Anyway, planning a good workout tonight, and going to a Tuff Girl workout tommorrow night.
Of note: I officially have a 4.0 GPA in school. :-)

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Ok, ok...rough weekend, but this is getting to be old news, huh? When did I revert back to "I'll start on Monday? I dunno, but I really hate it. I don't want to be that person anymore.
I didn't make it to the gym this week. The only time I had to do it was yesterday morning, as soon as the gym opened (7am) and I couldn't drag myself out of bed. So, it didn't happen. We DID go to the renaissance faire and walked around for hours... so I thought that might count as a little exercise. But food... seriously? WTF? Where is my "Drill Sargent"? Where is my "suck it up" voice? I know where - I am drowning them in chocolate! ACK! I feel kinda lost...confused... I keep reassuring myself that I will figure it out, but I keep NOT figuring it out... I don't know.

I saw myself in a new light this weekend. With the help of a dear friend, and the barter system, I got a brand new, gorgeous, amazing corset to go with my Ren garb - and frankly, anything else I can think of to wear with it. But in it, I saw the gorgeous shape I COULD have... if I just keep at it, and perhaps visit with the plastic surgeon (yes - did you think losing 150 lbs wasn't going to come with some gross loose skin to get rid of??) I felt so good - so gorgeous. I felt the way I have never felt before, and never thought I DESERVED to feel before... Once the corset was off, I just felt like me again. Frumpy. Flabby... yuk. But, I got a glimpse. A glimpse of what could be. What MUST be. I want to feel that way all the time - without always using boning and lacing!

Friday, May 20, 2011

foul mood

I'm in a paticularly foul mood this morning, and frankly, I am unsure how I am going to get rid of it. The office is filled with cake and cookies and huge pretzles. This is not normally the case, and everyone is in good spirits and partaking... I did as well, and I feel like crap. I also had a bad relapse last night. I am so stressed, but I can't keep using that as an excuse. Duh - why can't I get through my thick skull that eating crap makes me feel like crap and does NOTHING positive for my stress level? As a matter of fact, it increases it. HEELLLOOOO????? Any common sense out there??
*cricket* *cricket*
Apparently not.
I have no time to work out tonight, when I really wanted to. I can get to the gym tomorrow morning, which is good, but I don't have time Sunday either, which means my strive for 4 days of good exercise is already reduced to 3.
On ONE positive note - since I went over my Starbucks quota by one on Tuesday, I have not had another.
I am going to try and move on from my stupid cake debacle this morning, and eat per usual. I just wish today was over. I would rather be back in bed than doing anything else. Getting up in the mornings has been REALLY tough this week... maybe it's the weather? Or maybe it's that Thing 2 likes to wake up at 5.

Hubs brought him into our bed this morning at about 5:30, and I tried to snooze, but he kept kicking me in the face. Litteraly.
Ok, my mood is creating writers block, so I'm out...

Thursday, May 19, 2011

I need a personal assistant - please apply within

Anyone looking to work for an extremely busy, slightly scattered and disorganized mom of 2, who has a full time job, a part time job, runs a theater company, goes to school, and has various other things to keep tract of (appointments, gigs, etc)for no money but lots of love and gratitude?
Please apply with a comment.

*Sigh* seriously. I can't keep up. I am getting dates and times all screwed up and I am letting people down, including myself. I can't keep it together.
So, if you are interested in working for me for no pay (don't all jump up at once) let me know! Hey, I would also be happy to work out a barter - any outstandingly organized individuals out there want to learn to sing?

I just realized I have an opera concert I am singing on MONDAY night. I thought it was next weekend. I have known about this concert for probably 2 months, and yet, I didn't keep tract of it. Now I am scrambling to get my voice into these 5 peices. I've known them for years, but it's hard to go back when you have not sung opera to this extent in a while. It's kinda like a runner who doesn't run at all for 6 months, and then decides to run a marathon. Not a great idea, and that person will probably not do very well. Therefor, letting himself and others down. Awesome.
Ok, the only thing to do now is clear my schedule and practice my butt off - and pray!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

comfort is overrated

The fabulous Christa Doran of Tuff Girl Fitness ( says "comfortable is overrated". Being uncomfortable creates change. I was thinking about that a lot today. We take a lot of time in our day trying to get away from "uncomfortable". When we stress our muscles and they are uncomfortable, our instinct is to make them comfortable again - perhaps quit the movement, or lower the intensity. I attempted today in my workout to "be in" my uncomfortable-ness. To sit with it, and just take it in. In stretching, I breathed deeply and allowed myself to take in the stretching feeling and just sit with the burning sensation. It was a very cool experience.
The same can be said for our uncomfortable emotions. When confronted with them, we want to push them away - some eat (like me) some drink, or do drugs, shop or gamble. Some cut themselves, or hurt themselves even more. I am not suggesting that everyone simply sit and observe the uncomfortable feeling - it may be good for some, and not good for others. For me - I am going to experiment a little with it. Physical, mental and emotional discomfort. Just sitting with it. Letting it be what it is, and then trying to let it go, without the use of any other "crutch".
It's just something I am mulling over... let me know your thoughts.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011


have you ever felt like you have different parts, and that sometimes those parts are battling each other? I do. Pats of me that say "I don't wanna", "I can't", etc (sometimes called the inner critic) and parts of me that say "just suck it up", "get over it"... and still others that just struggle to find a happy medium.

No, I'm not going crazy. I think this happens in a lot of people.
I had a mental/physical rest day yesterday. I took off of work, I took the kids to grandma's, and I went to the gym for the first time in months. I did a 47 minute High Intensity Interval workout on the treadmill. Walk for a minute (3.5), run for a minute (7.0-7.2)I did 5 of these, then 2 high intervals with incline up to 9 for 2 minutes each, and then a light jog rounded it out near the end. I really felt it, and still do today. I topped off the day with 45 minutes of yoga, which I find enjoyable, and helped stretch out the muscles I had pushed earlier. Today, no exercise, except a short stroll outside at lunch, and tomorrow night is Tuff Girl Bootcamp.
I have made a goal outline on (joshsammamma). Mostly because the hubs wanted to, and since he doesn't blog, I agreed to join him on that site. Here is my goal as it stands on
"Revamp my lifestyle"
I commit to:
Return to exercising 45-60 minutes, at least 4 days per week. I will limit my Starbucks consumption to 2 or less per week. I will return to tracking all of my food online. I will only weigh myself 1 time per week. I will return to my previous healthy eating habits. I will take the summer to work on my therapy and not take a school class so that I can focus on healing and getting back to a healthy lifestyle. I will be under 200 lbs by the end of 12 weeks.
I don't normally state my weight on here, since I don't think it's always needed, but I am currently 218. In 12 weeks - 90 days, I will be under 200.
So, the exercise is already working out well. I am excited to be back into it. And, with classes ending I will have time to resume that again. The Starbucks is tough. I had a final exam last night and while studying during the day and on the way to the exam, I had 2 mocha's (total). Really? There went my 2 WEEKLY in the first DAY. I had one this morning, and I am NOT going to have another. I ordered some Click Protein to help with the caffeine weaning... am I a wuss? Maybe. I'm just trying to get myself back. I don't know where I went - but I'm coming back.
I hope now that my schedule is decreasing some, I will start feeling less anxious, less nervous and stressed. Will continue to asses and continue to blog. It's really cathartic for me.
Food today: Trying not to obsess too much, but the binging/overeating is OUT:
natural PB and low sugar jelly on high fiber wrap
kashi cereal
Special K crackers, hummus
Can of chunky steak and veggie soup (the stats might surprise you. They are quite good, even though the sodium is a bit high)
dark chocolate almonds (not coated, just dusted is cocoa powder. Really quite good, and NOT a chocolate bar!)
turkey breast with fiber one breading?
?? what else? I dunno. I should know, since today my schedule goes till almost 9:00 without a break. So much for schedules lightening up after the show and classes are over.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Dark places

The stress is getting to me, and I am taking it out on myself and my body. Something really has to change, and I am trying to find my way back to the place I was in, not so long ago.
I have made the decision not to take a summer course. I think taking that out of the equation will help releave a little bit of pressure, and perhaps I can focus on the issues at hand. I am even contemplating leaving the board of the theater company - which would be a huge deal for not only me, but for my husband, and this crazy band of theater people I have come to know and love. But, I have to think about my health - mental, physical, psychological, and spiritual. Will stopping that commitment help me accomplish all the other important things that need to be accomplished? I don't know. That's what I really need to weigh out before I make such a huge decision. This theater group has been a dream of Hubby's and mine for a long time - but having all of the work divided among 3 of us is just too much. There is a lot of things to think about regarding this.
Ok, today is what I consider a rock bottom day - and yes, it's only 10:52 AM. I started the day with not one, but TWO starbucks mochas. Shame - yes, guilt - yes... It was like my car was on auto pilot pulling in for that second when I was so close to work.

Hello, my name is Kelliann, and I am a food addict and binge eater.
Yes, this is for real. I have always known that and I have done a lot of work to help myself with it. I made the mistake, however, of thinking I had somehow gotten rid of it. But that never really happens. There will always be something that will trigger it, and you have to be ready for that so you can combat it. I wasn't ready, so I have slipped and now I have to get back up. Hooray therapy.
I have made a goal, and hubby and I are both working on our individual goals together. Taking charge of my time and prioritizing is part of being able to accomplish them.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Ok, ok... fell back into the Starbucks trap yesterday during a very long, stressful day that included a long, stressful rehearsal for the cabaret show this coming weekend. So, It's kinda like starting all over with that tomorrow (cause, well, I had some today too...meep) But, I will. I will go tomorrow without Starbucks.
I am feeling very stressed. Work is really, really crazy because my co-worker is out, probably till Wednesday, and doing this job myself is absolutely insane. That, coupled with the ends of classes/finals, the show, the second job, church, and of course the kids... I am a stretched thin woman. However, I have made some strides for myself. I made time to go have a great workout on Saturday morning. I am participating in the 100 push up challenge, and I am very proud to say that I have done 100 push ups each and every day so far (I have a few more to go today). I made an appointment with a food therapist and I am following through with that appointment on Tuesday. The surgery I had is a wonderful tool. It has helped me lose 150 + lbs - but I have to continually need to work on my "head" issues. I probably will for my whole life. The sooner I really accept that, the better.

*Sigh*. Today is 9 years since my step-dad passed away from liver cancer. I miss him all the time. I think of him so, so often. Even though they never met, Thing 1 knows him as "grandpa Mario" and recognizes him from pictures. Thing 2 will as well. He will live on in this house always.
RIP Moe. Love you so much.
So, as for a menu for tomorrow (I know, the boring stuff)
Pepperidge Farm flat bread
Kashi Cereal
Almonds is where I am drawing a blank. Our schedule did not allow for grocery shopping this weekend, and I don't have a lot in the house. Tomorrow is my long school day, so I need to be more prepared than this. To trouble shoot - I may bring 2 servings of cereal or flatbread and PB, to get me through class.
Ok. 30 more pushups to do. Some interesting things I have discovered so far in this challenge:
It does not take a long time to do 100 push ups.
I started out, LESS than a week ago, being able to do 20 at a time, now I can do 30 at a time.
I ALREADY see a difference in my arms.
Think you can't do 100 push ups a day? Think again. YOU CAN.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

food journal for, uh, tomorrow, and the state of things...

Ok, there was no journal for today, and it showed. I threw random things in a bag this morning running out the door, but amazingly enough, I made it work without buying anything or going to the cafe at all. So, the plan for tomorrow is as follows:

hood calorie countdown chocolate milk
click protein
natural PB
Pepperidge Farm deli flat
kashi cereal
Barilla Plus spaghetti with homemade sauce
kraft 2% shredded cheese

I get to actually come home for, oh, I dunno, an HOUR tomorrow night after work and before I have to be out and off to rehearsal - so dinner will happen in the time, and I will being a snack with me to rehearsal, to stave off the want for Starbuck-y goodness.
As usual, this will be updated as the day goes on.
I am going to see a food therapist on Tuesday, and I have a nutrition appointment in June (yes, they were booking out THAT far!). I made some serious discoveries since the workshop I participated in, and one of them has lead me to admit that I might need some help. I am still hanging on to old ideas about food, and I need some help in combating them. That big 'ol inner critic of mine is NOT happy about all the change - and keeping "her" all riled up helps me know I am moving in the right direction...
That's all for tonight.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

food journal for tomorrow: 5/4 - updated

click protein - coffee fix
hood calorie countdown chocolate milk - coffee fix with Click
strawberries - snack
kashi cereal - snack
mexican spiced ground turkey breast - lunch
kraft 2% cheese - lunch
mission carb smart tortilla - lunch
baby carrots - snack
garlic hummus - snack
naan bread
- subbing Peppridge Farms Deli flat - breakfast
natural peanut butter - Breakfast
Barilla Plus pasta - dinner
2% mozzarella cheese - dinner
saltines - a few too many of these and the following before bed
Sugar free jelly

This post will likely change through out the day - indicating what I have eaten for what... This is a school day, so everything has to last me through 8:00 tonight... I once again, think I may have underpacked. Perhaps adding a salad mid-day will help disperse it all more.
Giving up my Starbucks habit - today is day 1. I did NOT stop on the way to work, which is already AMAZING. My next challenge will be NOT stopping before class. Yes, that's right - on school days I typically stop for Starbucks 2x. That's $10 a day! Holy crap!
Some quotes I was thinking of this morning as I felt sluggish and headach-y:
"Pain is weakness leaving the body"
"Comfortable is overrated" (Thanks Christa-
"Progress not Perfection" (Thanks for the reminder Jen!)

I have done 25 of my 100 pushups today. 100 Push-ups - Check! Challenge Day 2!
100 done yesterday, and I even talked the hubs into doing the last 25 with me.

Screw it - just do it and inner-critic

I am taking a challenge: 100 push-ups per day for 7 days. Starting today. I will do 100 pushups before I go to bed tonight.
I have been striving to create goals and really persue them, and I have been falling short. In an amazing workshop I attended this past weekend, I came face-to-face with my inner critic, and she is really hitting me hardcore. My inner critic is my 365lb self rearing her ugly head. In the workshop, our fabulous leaders said something that really resonated with me - "Your inner critics goal is to keep things comfortable, unchanging, status-quo." "Comfortable is over-rated" (Thanks for that one Crista!)

I am realizing all of the nasty things Mz. Inner Critic (I) say(s) to me. Here is an example:
"Why bother?"
"You can't"
"it's too hard"
She also calls me names I won't repeat. This needs to stop. Even as I write that, the thought that pops into my head is "you say that all the time, and you never really change". What a bitch!
So, today, I may not log my food like I wanted to, I may not run this evening, but I WILL do my 100 push-ups. (Inner critic says "And you will regret it tomorrow" - see what I mean?? ACK!)

Edited to add: 100 push-ups DONE!!!