It's a horrible place to be. Not just physically, but most of the time, bingers feel overwhelming shame, guilt and even hatred for themselves.
I know all about this.
So, I was thinking. I plan for everything. I mean, I am a true planner. Having a plan in place feels... safe. The one thing, I realized, that I DON'T have a plan for, is a binge. Or rather, a plan to STOP a binge when I am right on the edge. When I realize I have white-knuckled it for a little too long, and letting go is looking like a real possibility. Not only looking like a possibility, but looking GOOD.
It is at THIS point, that I NEED a plan.
A safety net, if you will.
I'm still sorta in the middle of hashing this out. Maybe you guys can give some feedback. I need to come up with some kind of intervention to implement when I am really right on the verge. "Cookie-in-hand" kind of verge. Now remember, this is a total mental game here, so I have to play the game to my advantage. The urge to binge or eat something that can LEAD to a binge usually comes fast and furious, but it also will subside in time. Here are some of my ideas:
This is what I have come up with so far. I want to really make a solid plan that I will feel comfortable falling on if needed, not something flimsy that would be easy to dismiss in the thick of my screwy mental status.
It's really disappointing to be coming off of a significant (for me) binge. I've undone work I had done the week prior. I'm still recovering physically, and mentally I am bashing myself big-time. Trying to just move on. It's incredible how easy it is for weight to come back on, and how f*cking hard it is to take off. Seems so unfair. But, we can't dwell on "unfair". It doesn't get us to our goals.