Wednesday, August 8, 2012

What I Want.

I was reading a blog I really adore yesterday and it struck a chord...

Go check out The FitFat Girl over at wordpress... It's ok, I'll wait.

Her latest entry asked a question. What Do You Want?

It not only asked the question, but it demanded an answer. Not some half-assed, pithy answer like "A decent job that pays me okay", but something better, bigger, bolder.

What Do You Want? Clearly and Specifically.

It can be a hard question to truly answer. Sometimes those answers scare us. We don't want to say them out loud, because then they really exist in the universe. Making our goals known? Putting ourselves out there?

Well then - aren't we just setting ourselves up for failure?
Then someone can call us out where we aren't doing the things that move us toward what we want...
People will know if we are slacking...

No wonder we want to keep our goals and dreams inside.

But here is the truth. Until we can own what we truly want in life, we cannot achieve it. Because until you put it out there, with a plan of action, nothing will really get done.

It's just a dream till you make a plan. Then it's a goal. Once you have that plan, the goal is practically yours. All you have to do is put in the work.

And if you don't make it? If you "fall short"? Well, maybe you don't want it bad enough. Or, maybe you need to revisit that goal. Tweek your plan. BUT. Don't let the "tweeking the plan" become an excuse. I've read quite a few blogs who mistake true "tweeking" of a plan to mean "going off the deep end, but it's ok because I am learning and tweeking my plan"

I know this post sounds jumbled and crazy. Forgive. I've been thinking a lot about and working toward a very specific goal. I haven't really spelled it out here, or anywhere else really, because I had fear. Fear of being judged. Fear of being told I "can't" or "shouldn't".

I'm tired of it.

Many of you know I am in school to become a Registered Dietitian. This is a slow process, and I wish I could be in school full time so I could almost be done by now, but it's not possible. So, this is what I want from this education:

I want to be the owner of a weight loss center. I am developing material that is based on "clean" whole food eating. I am going to work with adults, teens, kids and families. I am creating workbooks individually taylored to each person. I am compiling a cookbook. I am creating a website.

I realized that, although this degree will give me the credentials, I already have much of the knowledge through research and study, and frankly, trial and error. I KNOW I have found a plan that CAN work for many people. Eating whole, clean, healthy, nutritious foods can ONLY be beneficial for people.

So, there it is. My fear is that someone who has followed this blog will think that I struggle too much to be helping people do what I am doing. I fear those thoughts from others, because I am afraid that it's true. I've been told many, many times that I should be helping people NOW (thus, the reason all of the materials are being developed now). But, what would someone think, walking into a consult with me - this overweight woman telling them what to eat? Sure, I could show them the pictures, I could tell them the history... but the first impression is what it is...

Once again, I'm sorry this is jumbled and such. I just had to get it all out. If any of you are still reading to this point, bless your heart.

Here I am. Open, vulnerable. It's done now. Feels kinda good... but of course, I haven't clicked publish yet.... here we go....


  1. I totally get it, I do. But think of it this way - I've been working in my industry now for 10 years, since I was 21. I've been doing this job day in and day out. Have I made mistakes? Sure, tons of them! It's cost my company money, even. But did I learn from it and become better at what I'm doing? Most definitely. I'm now mentoring several employees because I went through it, made mistakes, and came out the better for it.
    A girl I work with asked me yesterday if talking about my weight loss gets annoying & boring - I quickly responded "No way!" because I (and you) have worked VERY hard for this, and trust me when I say you have earned the right to feel knowledgeable.
    I'm behind you 100%!

  2. Kelliann! First of all, thanks so much for the shout out here. Second of all, your goals are AWESOME and I love that you put them out there.

    I so get what you are saying about the first impression...sometimes it makes me so mad that I'm working so hard and this is still what I look like!

    But, when you think about holding off on moving forward with your goals, consider this: potential clients will likely be overweight; perhaps they will find you more approachable instead of some very thin person who might not "get" where they are coming from. Your results pictures speak for themselves, and you look amazing. :)

    Now go for it!

  3. I think saying your goals out loud (or writing them, or blogging them) not only makes them more "real" than keeping them wrapped up in your head; it can sometimes bring more focus to them and actually take some of the stress off you (like writing down a list of fears or worries -- it takes them out of your head for a while). I think it will help your overweight clients in the future to know that you have personal experience with learning to eat clean and make big changes in your life...just as I think my future personal training clients will be more comfortable knowing that I was once a couch potato with an unhealthy diet. That said, I agree with you, however, that physical appearance is the first impression people have of us, and when you're in the health care or fitness/diet side of things, I think we do need to look the part...that's how people are going to decide if we are walking the walk...or just talking the talk.

  4. I think it's awesome that you KNOW what you want. You will be passionate, knowledable & experienced in your feild when you get there. You WILL BE successful at this.

    I've also had fleeting thoughts of working in the fitness/health industry but I have not pursued it YET because of FEAR. Fear of failure, fear of not looking the part...scared because I still feel to new at this to give it a go. So I give you much props, girl.

    Thanks for sharing with us ... you are strong and you will hit all of your goals because you are dedicated & motivated.

  5. I think it's awesome too that you are persuing your goals and dreams :) I also understand you not feeling you "fit" the part I've felt that way many times. But who better than you to be able to give good sound advice to people looking to loose weight and get healthier. I also know from experience that helping others in that area will help you too :) I don't think there will ever come a time that a person doesn't struggle with something so just keep moving towards your goals and you'll be just fine.

  6. Knowing what you want is more than half the battle. I think you will be incredibly successful when you reach your goal, and I can't say it any better than Jenn did. I have also toyed with the idea of doing something, down the road, more fitness-related...even if it's just becoming an instructor at work for a class or two.